Ding! Ding! Ding!
Gene Okerland
We all are part of history in the making!
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
It's as real as our ancient yearning.
Council of Kang
THIS IS AWESOME!
THIS IS AWESOME!
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Not merely for a hero...
But for the villain as well.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Just as they need each other, so do you, need them...
To tell a story.
But what of the story of Fantasy Football itself?
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
What if the canvas could speak?
Of an ageless carnival with primeval roots?
With what started on paper and pen, but came of age with the most American of institutions.
The internet.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
As the internet changed, so did Fantasy Football.
And together, they changed America.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
The truth is, a great swath of American culture is born of that eternal battle...
Between the face...
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
...and the heel.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
From ecstasy...
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
to humiliation.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Fame...
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
to obscurity.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
And back again.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
An endless cycle that changed the rules..
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
And blurred the lines.
Steve Pupstin
Pupstin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass!
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Made it harder to distinguish the good guys... from the bad.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
The shoot... from the work.
CM PUP
Whoops... I'm breaking the fourth wall.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
The real...
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
From the unreal.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Because West Coast Cousin's greatest stories...
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Every damn one.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Has an element of truth.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
The screens get smaller.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
But the show gets bigger.
The Baugh
The millions...
Crowd
...AND MILLIONS!
Sandy Orton
I have never been more dangerous!
Tai Rollins
I am at the top of my game!
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Global.
From Yahoo Message Boards to Blogsites.
America to the world.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Ladies and gentlemen.
Presenting the all real.... ever fantastic... never to end...
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Story of the West Coast Cousins.
The pyro explodes as the curtain is unveiled.
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon stands in the middle of the ring.
*Crowd Cheers*
Council of Kangs
CON-QUER-OR!
CON-QUER-OR!
CON-QUER-OR!
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
17,000+ sold out in the Kang Universe... LET ME HEAR YOUUUU!
*Crowd Cheers*
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
In this moment, and this is the moment.
All of you are being seen and heard by the entire Multiverse!
*Crowd Cheers*
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Show them who you are!
Council of Kangs
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
FIGHT! FIGHT FIGHT!
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
I already know the answer to this, but I'm going to ask it anyways.
ARE.... YOU.... REEEAAAADY?
Council of Kangs
YEAAAAH!!!!
Vincent 'Kang' McMahon
Then... welcome to Wednesday Night Preview...
WELCOME TO THE RISE OF THE CONQUEROR!
WEST COAST KANG:
THE RISE OF THE CONQUEROR
Episode One - The Kang Games
Earth-415
J. Jonah Jameson
J. Jonah Jameson with ATN News.
It has been exactly 7 months, 3 weeks and 6 days since the disappearance
of Kendrick Stark, Tai Rogers and the vigilante known only as The Batman.
On New Years Eve 2024,
these so-called "superheroes" disappeared without a trace.
J. Jonah Jameson
According to Deputy Commissioner Peter Foley, these 3 criminals were boxed in by the SFPD.
Kendrick Stark, an accomplice in last season's escape of the madman known as The Joker.
The Batman, working in line with The Riddler to assassinate District Attorney Chesa Boudin.
And then of course, there's Tai Rogers.
Formerly known as Captain Covfefe, guilty and sentenced to life in prison
for the attempted murder of former President Joe Biden.
And it is Rogers, who escaped Fox River Penitentiary 2 seasons ago,
along with the Fox River 8, who primarily are still at large, by the way.
So just as I am critical of the menace known as Spiderman,
I ask our viewers, in the age of the superhero, are we truly safe?
I think the answer is a resounding.. NO!
J. Jonah Jameson
Meanwhile, President Trump announced earlier this week
that Nico Collins, a former United States Air Force Pararescue man,
will be named the new Captain Covfefe.
In large part, I have supported the efforts of our President.
But here at ATN, we pride ourselves in our objectiveness.
President Trump is making a grave mistake by naming a new Captain Covfefe.
The President should be outlawing superheroes, not creating more of them!
Not to mention, the appointment of Nico Collins as Captain Covfefe
is nothing more than a contrived DEI hire.
Something the President has been previously critical of.
What is our President not telling us about Nico Collins?
What makes him qualified? And what exactly is our President doing?
America, we need to start envisioning a world without superheroes.
A world without the West Coast Cousins!
Earth-616
West Coast Cousins Headquarters
Coach Rockson
Hill, get these two set up.
We don't have time to waste.
The multiversal war could begin at any moment and we have to be prepared.
Coach Rockson
Stark, Hill is going to give you access to everything we have on the multiverse.
I want you and Wayne to take a look and see if there's something new we can work with.
Inside the database, you'll find documents, files, videos,
all sorts of research from different worlds across the multiverse.
We've managed to get what we could,
but there are a large number of files that are heavily encrypted.
Kendrick Stark
Ah, there it is. Now I know why you were so desperate to get me to this world.
Let me guess? Your world ran out of genius, billionaire Fantasy Managers
who've saved the world on multiple occasions?
Batman
How did you get this information?
Kendrick Stark
Uh... Dark and Gloomy.
You can lose the cowl, you're a total buzzkill.
We're all friends here.
And besides, we already know your top secret identity.
There's no mystery there.
Captain Covfefe
So you brought Stark and Wayne for research.
Why did you bring me here?
Coach Rockson
You and I have an appointment.
Captain Covfefe
An appointment?
Coach Rockson
An appointment with someone who ought to know a thing or two
about the multiverse.
Someone whose had experience with all six Fantasy Stones.
Captain Covfefe
So I'm the enforcer? That's why you brought me along?
Kendrick Stark.
To be fair, I can enforce just as well as you can.
However, it might take you another 70 years before you can crack this encryption.
But don't feel bad. I'm something of a Swiss army knife.
Coach Rockson
Get to work, Stark.
Kendrick Stark
Okay, first of all, I don't work for you, Patches.
And second, let's be clear, you need me. Not the other way around.
I didn't ask you to come to my world to save everyone's asses.
We need to start operating as a team.
Otherwise, life as we know it will cease to exist.
Do you understand?
Hill, get me a convoy to Fox River.
Captain Covfefe
Fox River?
Coach Rockson
Coach Rockson
Don't worry, it's not the same one you broke out of.
Just another version of it.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Earth-KANG
Michael Cole
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Wednesday Night Preview.
We are live in Earth-KANG, the Kang Universe!
I'm joined alongside Pat McAfee and Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler.
And it has been such a long offseason in the WCC, but we are happy to be back.
We're expecting this to be a great year in the West Coast Kang Fantasy League.
And we have a great lineup of opening week matches as we kick off the Kang Games in Week 1.
Pat McAfee
The Kangamaniacs are going wild, Cole.
For those who may not be aware, we are surrounded by the Council of Kangs
here in the Kang Universe and this crowd is going nuts!
I can't wait to see these Fantasy Managers duke it out all season long
to see who will be crowned as the 2025 WCC League Champion!
Michael Cole
Gentlemen, let's talk more about the Kang Games.
For those who are unfamiliar, the Kang Games have been around for ages.
Jerry, you are particularly close to the Conqueror,
would you care to elaborate a bit more about the games?
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
Absolutely, Michael Cole.
The Kang Games is an annual event where we place 12 Fantasy Managers in a gauntlet
through 17 weeks to determine a League Champion.
With the winner not only winning the grand prize of $170.
But also, earning their spot in the Final Universe.
Each year, one winner and their entire Fantasy Team
will become apart of Kang's Final Universe.
Pat McAfee
Final Universe? Slow it down for those of us who are intellectually challenged.
What is the Final Universe?
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
The Final Universe is Kang's paradise.
A kind of heaven, so to speak.
It is a place for every single being across the multiverse.
When Kang's conquest is complete, all universes will be collapsed into one.
A single, perfect universe.
The Final Universe.
And I promise you, a place in Kang's Final Universe is a coveted one.
If you are lucky enough to be apart of it, you should be eternally grateful.
For those less fortunate, they will be lost in time.
Michael Cole
The stakes could not be higher guys.
The 2025 Kang Games are about to begin and I, for one, am on the edge of my seat.
*Rockson Reign's Music Hits*
Pat McAfee
Well, you'd better get on your feet, Cole!
Because we are in the presence of GREATNESS!
The Head of the Table!
The Tribal Chief!
ROCKSON REIGNS!!!!
Michael Cole
Making his first appearance this season on Wednesday Night Preview,
we've heard a lot about this Superstar.
From Earth-1316, Rockson Reigns is a former 2x League Champion
and from the reports, he had a heck of 2024 Fantasy Season.
In his world, he finished 12-2 in the regular season and was the clear leader in League Points,
outscoring the next manager by a whopping 200 points.
However, his season ended in disappointment last year
as he was knocked out in the 2nd round of the playoffs.
How will the Tribal Chief respond now that he has arrived in Earth-KANG?
Rockson Reigns
Kang Universe...
ACKNOWLEDGE ME!
*Crowd Boos*
Rockson Reigns
Is that any way to treat your Tribal Chief?
No, no, no... Earth-KANG, we're gonna try that again.
I said Kang Universe... ACKNOWLEDGE ME!
The crowd is mixed with some Kang
variants throwing 1s in the sky.
Pat McAfee
I acknowledge you, my Tribal Chief!
Michael Cole
Sit down, Pat.
Rockson Reigns
That's a little better, but you're all going to have work on that.
It's a long season and we're gonna do this thing, we're gonna have to do it right.
Because let's make one thing perfectly clear.
Kang the Conqueror personally invited me to this world.
Your leader asked me to join the Kang Games.
I was perfectly content living my life in Earth-1316.
But you see... I'm doing you all a favor.
I'm here to put on a show for all the Kang Variants in Earth-KANG.
I'm here to entertain the Council.
But if you all don't appreciate me.. then I can just leave.
I'm sure the Conqueror wouldn't be too pleased with that, you know what I'm saying?
Rockson Reigns
You see, Kang promised me the best.
He said he would gather all the best Fantasy Managers throughout the entire multiverse
and bring them here to Earth-KANG.
And just so we're clear, I'm here to let you know who the best really is.
This is Greatness on Another Level.
I ran Earth-1316, nobody could touch me.
I'm the best that world had to offer.
And now... I'm looking to dominant the entire multiverse.
Let me let you all in on a little spoiler.
The winner of the Kang Games?
You're looking at him. A spot in the Final Universe?
It's already mine.
Rockson Reigns
My entire Fantasy Team, my entire Bloodline, we run this thing.
We own Earth-1316 and we're gonna own Earth-KANG as well.
Wherever we go, no matter what universe, what world, we run this thing.
This is our world, this is our planet.
And when it's all said and done, every Kang Variant on this planet...
you will ACKNOWL-
*Josh Allen's Music Hits*
Michael Cole
We know who this is... the 2024 NFL MVP.
Josh Allen!
Pat McAfee
I don't know if it was wise to interrupts the Tribal Chief, though.
The crowd cheers as Josh Allen steps onto the apron,
but he refuses to step inside the ring.
Rockson Reigns
Hey, I get it.
There's a bunch of us. An entire Fantasy Team.
Rockson Reigns
But, Josh.
This is my show. And that means, you're my guest.
Rockson Reigns
This is a safe place, please.
Come on in, we want to hear what you got to say.
Josh Allen
Rockson Reigns, I don't mean to cut you off.
But that was one hell of a statatement.
Declaring yourself the winner of the 2025 Kang Games. That's bold.
But I just have one question, how are you going to do it without a quarterback?
Rockson Reigns
Without a quarterback?
I understand Josh, you might be a little dense.
But you see, the Tribal Chief is all about loyalty.
And in case you hadn't noticed, the Bloodline is Niner Gang for life.
We've have a quarterback and a hell of a quarterback at that.
We've had the same quarterback for the last 3 years, Josh.
Wiseman?
Paul Heyman
Yes, my Tribal Chief?
Rockson Reigns
Smarten this kid up and tell him who my quarterback is.
Paul Heyman
Of course, my Tribal Chief!
Josh Allen, allow me to introduce you to QB1 of the Bloodline.
Mr. Irrelevant.... BROOOOOCKKKK.... PUUUUURDY!
*Crowd Cheers*
Josh Allen
Brock? That's cute.
He's a good kid, but he's no gamechanger.
He's no MVP.
But I don't need to tell you that, Rock.
You don't even believe in him as much as you say you do.
That's why you picked up Dak Prescott off the waiver wire, isn't that right?
Rockson Reigns chuckles at Josh's comments.
Josh Allen
Yeah, laugh it up.
But the truth is Brock Purdy might have been your quarterback for the last 3 years.
Let me ask you this, how many League Championships have you won in the last 3 years?
Rockson Reigns
Josh, I get it.
The Kang Games got you nervous.
You look around the league and you check out these rosters
and I know what you're thinking.
You want to be apart of the Final Universe.
And the best way to do that, is to join the Bloodline. I understand.
Josh Allen
Whoa, whoa. Let me stop you right there.
I didn't say anything about joining the Bloodline.
As a matter of fact, I already have a Fantasy Team.
*Crowd Cheers*
Josh Allen
Yeah, that's right.
You didn't think you could just pick me up off of Free Agency, did you?
I'm rostered in 100% of all leagues across the multiverse.
You think you can just add me to your team?
This isn't a 4 team League, Rockson. It doesn't work that way.
The Tribal Chief does not look happy, Cole.
Josh Allen
I can see the confused look on your face, Rockson Reigns.
I'm sure whatever world you're from, you were the man.
Last year, you did your thing.
But this is an entirely new season. This is a new world.
The Kang Universe!
So allow me to introduce you to my Fantasy Manager...
The lights go out as the crowd erupts.
*Crowd Cheers*
The masked man puts a scarf over his neck.
Pat McAfee
Wait a minute... that... that can't be...
*CFL's Music Hits*
Pat McAfee
IT IS! MY GOD! IT'S HIM!
Pat McAfee
IT'S THE DEVIL HIMSELF... CHRIS FUCKING LAW!
Isn't he from another promotion? What is he doing here?
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
Anything can happen in the West Coast Kang.
The possibilities are endless when it comes to the multiverse.
Michael Cole
For those who may not know... Chris Fucking Law, better known as CFL,
is a young breakout sensation from All Elite Fantasy.
Many pundits and experts are calling him the future of Professional Fantasy Managing.
And now he has arrived in Earth-KANG!
Pat McAfee
The Tribal Chief is pissed, Cole.
He is not happy with the arrival of CFL.
Josh Allen
We'll see you on Sunday, Tribal Chief.
Michael Cole
Well there you have it. Our Week 1 matchup, CFL and Josh Allen
will take on the Bloodline to open the Kang Games.
Pat McAfee
I can't contain my excitement, guys.
And I have a feeling we're in for many more surprises to come.
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
Only time will tell..
Earth-206
Harrison Butker
Strange!
Harrison Butker
Take a look at my brother.
He's dying!
Doctor Nicholas Strange
I'm already working on the boy, Butker.
Chris Parker is dying as well and I'm already trying to save him.
Harrison Butker
But this is my brother, Thor Rocksinson.
Doctor Nicholas Strange
I'm sorry, but you need to take him to a local hospital.
The kid needs my help.
Harrison Butker
A local hospital?
There isn't time!
You have to do something, Strange!
Doctor Nicholas Strange
My hands are tied, I can't do anything.
I've committed to saving the boy.
It's either him or Thor and we can't save them both.
Harrison Butker
I hate to be cruel, but in the grand scheme of things,
Thor Rocksinson is more important in our fight against Kang.
I'm sorry, but we need him more than we need Christopher Parker.
Thor Rocksinson is a multiple time League Champion!
Doctor Nicholas Strange
I'm already operating on the boy, Butker.
If I stop now, we risk losing both of them.
Harrison Butker
Are you saying you won't help me?
Doctor Nicholas Strange
Doctor Nicholas Strange
I can't.
Harrison Butker
Fine... if you won't help me, I'll find my own way.
Harrison Butker takes Thor Rocksinson and verse jumps to another universe.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
We return to Earth-KANG as Tai Rollins is roaming around backstage.
Adam Pearce
Tai. You wanted to speak to me?
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
Adam Pearce, General Manager of Wednesday Night Preview.
I didn't ask for you. I asked to speak to Kang.
Adam Pearce
I'm afraid you can't speak to Kang right now.
But I'm sure I can help you with whatever it is that you need.
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
What I need, is to speak to Kang.
I am the reigning, defending League Champion and winner of the 2024 Kang Games.
I have the right to speak to him.
Adam Pearce
And what exactly do you need to talk to Kang about?
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
Don't think that I don't know what it is that you're up to.
These other Fantasy Managers might not know what he's up to, but I do.
Need I remind you, I was in his gauntlet last season.
I played his little game... and I won.
But I saw what happened to the other Fantasy Managers, the other contestants.
Adam Pearce
I don't understand.
You won, Tai. You're in the Final Universe.
What more do you want?
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
What more do I want...? Hahahahaha....
What I want... is to put an end to the Kang Games.
Adam Pearce
Tai, if I were you, I'd be very careful with what you say next.
If Kang hears about this...
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
Good. I want Kang to hear about this.
You people think that we're just some race horses?
You think you can just play with our lives?
That this is some sort of... sick game?
If these other Fantasy Managers knew what I knew, they would never play The Kang Games.
Adam Pearce
The other Fantasy Managers are here on their own volition.
We're giving them an opportunity to be apart of Kang's Final Universe.
Without this opportunity, they're as good as gone.
When Kang finishes his objective, every other universe will be eliminated.
The Kang Games are their best chance to stay alive.
The Kang Games are their best chance to stay alive.
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
Yeah... you keep telling yourself that, Pearce.
Adam Pearce
Look, I'm just here to serve the Conqueror.
I have a job and I'm doing my job.
And if you want my advice, I'd recommend that you stay out of his way.
You already have your meal ticket.
If I were you, I'd quit while I'm ahead.
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
No, Adam. You don't understand.
This title... my win. It's all blood money.
You might not have a conscious anymore because you sold your soul to the Conqueror.
But I refuse to be a puppet in his little game...
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
I'm going to put an end to the Kang Games.
So you know what?
I want to put in a special request...
Tell Kang the Conqueror to put me back in the game.
Adam Pearce
What? Tai, are you insane?
You're already in the Final Universe.
Why on earth would you want to be put back in the game?
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
Because then I can put a stop to the games once and for all...
Adam Pearce
If you do this, you are revoking your right to be the Final Universe.
Unless you win again, Kang will not put you in his paradise.
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
I don't care. Tell Kang he can shove his paradise where the sun don't shine!
Adam Pearce
Kang will not go for it.
If your goal is to put an end to the games, why would you allow you to be in it?
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
If I'm back in the game, the Council will find it fun for sure.
A League Champion putting his life back on the line?
Now that's a storyline if I've ever heard one.
Adam Pearce
I don't know about this...
Tai "Freakin'" Rollins
Why are you hesitating? Are you scared?
Don't tell me that the great Conqueror is afraid of a little risk?
He's been around a long time... but he's never met anyone like me.
Adam Pearce
Do you think you're some kind of hero?
You think you can save us all from him?
Tai, I think you're making a mistake.
But if you want back in to the Kang Games, then have it your way.
In fact, I already have a Week 1 opponent for you.
From out of nowhere, we see a man attack Tai Rollins.
The camera pans as the crowd erupts.
Adam Pearce
The return of the Phenomenal One.
"Loud Play" Justin Styles!
Adam Pearce
Tai Rollins, welcome back to the Kang Games.
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