Wednesday, November 27, 2019

The Waiver Wire Episode 10 - The Clean Up Crew


Carlos Hyde
So I'm saying man, if Frank wasn't there.
I would've still been on the team.
Man at Ohio State, I was starting ahead of Zeke.

Jamaal Williams
Tell me about it.
I know Aaron Jones ain't better than me.

Carlos Hyde
And that whole eating thing that Zeke does?
He stole that from me.


A nurse and a man in a wheelchair approach.

Carlos Hyde
I know you don't think you're coming in here.


Nurse
This is Mr. Cosby.
He's supposed to be staying with Mrs. Jemima for the next few days.
She lives in the backroom.
Can you help him in?


Jamaal Williams and Carlos Hyde search Mr. Cosby.


Carlos Hyde helps bring Mr. Cosby into the house.


Mr. Cosby
Thank you young man.

Carlos Hyde is startled by Mr. Cosby's voice.


He leans in and takes a closer look at Mr. Cosby.
He realizes that Mr. Cosbys is Victor Oumar.

Carlos Hyde
Oh shit!


The nurse draws her gun and aims it at Carlo Hyde.


The nurse opens the door and we find Younghoe Koo and Josh Jacobs at the door.


Victor Oumar
Nah.. nah... nah!


Victor Oumar sticks up the rest of the Barksdale crew.


Carlos Hyde
With all due respect, Oumar.
But this is a Barksdale joint.


Victor Oumar
... Do tell.


"My name is not my name." 
- Rocksonberg


Ezekiel Elliot
Not gonna lie.
That presidential pardon shit?
That was tight man.
So what's next?
How are we going to make America great again?


President Trump
We are not going to make America great again.
I am going to make America great again.


Ezekiel Elliot
Yeah, but you recruited me to the team right?
So how are we going to do this?


President Trump
You aren't going to do anything.
I didn't recruit you.
I don't even want you.
I want the Fantasy Stone.

Ezekiel Elliot
How do we get that?

President Trump
By extracting it from dead body.


Three men in masked hoodies arrive appear onto the scene.


Ezekiel Elliot
Yo, what the fuck is this?
What are you-


President Trump
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
You're going to have to speak up over the sound of my clean up crew.


One of the masked men reveals their gun and fires into the chest of Ezekiel Elliot,
instantly killing him.


The Power Stone is extracted from Ezekiel Elliot's body,
and placed into the hands of Donald Trump.


Kanye West
My fuhrer, where to now?

President Trump
Load up the jet.
Take me to the edge of the world.

*Commercial*


*Commercial*


Narrator
In the SCGD unit, Det. Minh reviews the standings in the league
and reviews possible playoff scenarios.


Det. Minh
We face a tough challenge this week.
There is no stopping Kenneth Bell from going to FantasyMania,
he's riding a 5 game win streak and he's already secured a first round bye.
The only shot to stop him, will be in the playoffs.
But if we are to make it to FantasyMania, we will have to beat him
or have a number of Fantasy Managers lose.
I've looked at every possible playoff scenario...


Jacoby Brissett
How many possibilities did you see?

Det. Minh
14,000,605.

Jacoby Brissett
And how many did we win?


Det. Minh
Only one.


Det. Tai
According to your standings, 
only Det. Joyce and Kenneth Bell has clinched a playoff spot.
That means I've got my work cut out for me.
Rocksonberg is in 4th place and now he's on the run,
nearly getting caught by Det. Joyce last week.


Det. Joyce
The son of a bitch is in 4th place, but his points total is low.
If you manage to give him a loss this week,
he very well could drop out of the Top 6.
And at 5-7, Prop Vinson is on the verge of elimination.
He'll need a lot of things to go his way this Sunday to even have a shot at the playoffs.
But one more loss and he's done.
We put him away and we can get the entire Co-Op, including Kenneth Bell.


Det. Minh
Looking at the current standings, 
the Top 4 comprises of all former World Champions.
We do expect by the end of Week 13, drastic changes.
But it is up to the three of us remaining Seattle cousins to win it all.


Det. Joyce
So I guess that just leaves us with Kevlo Stanfield.
What are we gonna do about him?


Det. Joyce
Week 12, he beat Howard and escaped from his holding cell.


Det. Joyce
Justinmonger was behind the escape and these two are now on the run.
What's the plan?


The Baugh enters the room.

The Baugh
Leave it to me.
You want that asshole Kevlo Stanfield and Justinmonger?
Then you enlist the greatest tracker in the League.
Last season's WCC Champion, The Baugh.


Det. Tai
Who let this asshole in here?
Last season, you rode the SCGD coat tails all the way to the playoffs.


The Baugh
Yeah, I did exactly what I had to do to win.
If I could do it all over again, I would do it exact same way.
The fact of the matter is, when it became crunch time,
The Baugh did what The Baugh does best.
And that's whoop candy asses 24/7 365 days of the year.


 Det. Tai
Well I don't want your ass in the playoffs.


The Baugh
So you would rather have Kevlo Stanfield, that murdering psychopath,
still in the hunt. A first Fantasy Manager in the West Coast Cousins.
A Fantasy Manager, as it currently stands, 
ranks 3rd in the league in points total?
You would rather have that son of  bitch at FantasyMania?
Cause The Baugh says this, whatever you want. It's not up to you.
The Baugh is gonna bring Kevlo Stanfield in this Sunday.
And The Baugh is punching his ticket straight to FantasyMania
to defend my WCC Championship.
And if you still want a piece of The Baugh by then,
then maybe you can come get it too.

*Commercial*


*Commercial*


We return from commercial to a shot of Saul Goodman's office.


Rocksonberg
So here is the list:
Prop Vinson, Kenneth Bell, Victor Oumar, and Kevlo Stanfield.
These are the players that either know about 
the Co-Op or have threatened my business.
They're loose ends, so to speak.
And they're vying for a playoff spot.
I need them dealt with.


Justinmonger
That's one hell of a list.
Taking all of these guys out, it's doable.
But no witnesses? Avoiding suspicion of the SCGD?
Showing my face in broad daylight?
And securing yourself a playoff spot?
It can be done, just not the way you want it.


Rocksonberg
It can be done exactly how I want it.
The only question is, are you the man to do it?
Figure it out.

Justinmonger
I'll get it done.
This Sunday, you're going to FantasyMania.

Justinmonger leaves.


Saul Goodman
All due respect, Mr. Kingpin.
Trusting Justinmonger? I don't know if that's a smart move.
I mean, he killed your brother in law, Kirk Cousins.
Not to mention, he know about the Co-Op as well.

Rocksonberg
I'm not trusting Justinmonger.
I'm using him to kill everyone on the list.
Then, I'll kill Justinmonger myself.

Saul Goodman
It's risky.
But you're the genius.
It looks like you've got things handled.
And with Det. Joyce nearly locking you up last week,
I think it's getting a bit too hot for me.
So I'm getting out of dodge.
And as your lawyer, I suggest you do the same.
Fighting one of those last playoff spots, it could work.
But I think your best course of action is to leave town.
Before it's... you know... checkmate.


Rocksonberg
Checkmate?
Saul, you oughta know me by now.
It is not over.
I can still win it all.

Saul Goodman
They know everything about you.
The SCGD was seconds away from arresting you!
And unless Justinmonger kills every single member of the Co-Op,
pretty soon, they'll all be in custody.
You want to bet at least one of them knows your name?


Rocksonberg
My name is not my name.
All they know is I go by The Greek.
I'm not even Greek, Saul.
Have you forgotten that I am a 2x League Champion?
Undefeated at FantasyMania?
Every season that I won, I was doubted heading into the playoffs.
And every time, I won.
Just get me to the playoffs.
I'll do the rest.

Saul Goodman
I'm sorry, but what you're asking for... I just can't do it.
There's 4 playoff spots left and 7 Fantasy Managers fighting for them.
I wish you all the best and I hope you get it. I truly do.
But you're on your own.
I'm done.


Rocksonberg
We're done when I say we're done.
Now you listen to me.
Once the loose ends are dealt with... I'll kill the entire SCGD myself.
Mark my words. I will be in the playoffs.
And I will win it all.