Wednesday, November 21, 2018

The Waiver Wire Episode 9 - Stand Tall


President Trump holds a press conference before Week 12 and plans to make a major announcement.


Before he can make the announcement, Jim Acosta has a few questions for him.

Jim Acosta
Jim Acosta, CNN.
Mr. President, rumors are running rampant that an investigation from The Mustangs is underway that alleged that you illegally funded your Presidential campaign and entire business empire through money from drug trafficking.
Mr. President, are you announcing your resignation as President of the United States?


President Trump
Excuse me. Excuse me. No.
First of all, that is fake news.
There is no such thing as illegal funding from drug trafficking.
That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
You know what, that's enough!


Jim Acosta
No, Mr. President.
I have a few more questions...


President Trump
That's enough!
I am not concerned with The Mustang's investigation because it's a hoax.
That's enough. Put down the mic.


President Trump
You know what I'm gonna do.
Because you don't ever give me a fair shake.
You are a very rude person.
A very bad, terrible person.
CNN needs to fire you!
You don't ever give me a fair shake.
Put someone else up here to interview me.
You don't know shit about politics.
You don't know shit!


President Trump
I came here today to announce that I am selling the WCC back to Shane McMahon.
He offered me a good deal, he doubled the price that I bought it for.
I'm giving it back to the McMahon family.


Jim Acosta
Does this mean that next season will mark the return of WCC Wrestling storylines?
What about the former WCC Superstars that are currently on the run?
Will they still be prosecuted?

President Trump
I'm done talking to you.
I have more important things to worry about than the WCC Universe.
You address those questions to Shane McMahon.

President Trump calls an end to the press conference.


Kanye West
Your grace, I hate to be the bearer of bad news.
We still have no leads on where the Underchucker's Urn is or the location of the Star in Dallas.
We will continue to search.

President Trump
You're going to have to do better than that, Kanye.
We must find the location of the Fantasy Stone's.
And while you're at it, bring me everything you have on The Baugh and the Mustangs.


Kanye West
At once, my lord.
What about The Bullet Club?
We still have been unable to establish contact with Balor.
Without him, we have no one to lead the Bullet Club.


President Trump
Then perhaps, it's time we bring in....
The Cleaner.


"And then we drop the bracelets." - Det. Joyce


Brianna Barksdale
I mean, what the fuck were you thinking?
Sending my son out to Oakland in a fucking rental car?


Brianna Barksdale
Having him pick up a package on his own?
Haven't you ever heard of a trap car?
The police were probably tailing him from San Francisco to and back.


Jesse Barksdale
I'm sorry it went down like that.


Brianna Barksdale
Sorry ain't gonna bring my son out of jail.


Jesse Barksdale
I'm gonna do what I can to get him out.
Now, he fired Levy and hired his own man.
Saul Goodman.
I don't know shit about Goodman.
But you need to go down there and talk to D'justin.
Because we all have a lot to protect right now.
Our season is on the line.
He's gonna have to play his part.
So when it comes to it, D'justin knows that he has to stand tall.

Brianna Barksdale
You don't have to worry about my son.
I raised that boy.

*Commercial*


*Commercial*


The Baugh
It's Week 12 everyone.
The regular season is winding down.
This week is very important.
I want an update on all of our targets.
Let's start with Rocksonberg.


Det. Tai
He lost again last week, dropping to 3-8.
Last season's Champion is no longer a threat and has been eliminated from the playoffs this season.
Judge Kavanaugh signed off on search warrants, but the bad news is, Rocksonberg is MIA.
No word on where he's gone to.
But one thing is for sure, he's still out there.


Det. Tai
As far as I'm concerned, he's a snake with no venom.
If he can't cook and supply his distribution, we has no barring on what happens on the street level.
But when it comes to the President Trump investigation, we've hit a wall.


Det. Joyce
Prop Vinny is 5-6 and currently in 11th place.
He's still trying to get a playoff spot and he's not out of contention just yet.
As Tai said, Rocksonberg is no longer in the picture,
 so Prop Vinny's supply of blue meth is running low.


Det. Joyce
If I can beat him this week, that'll knock him out of contention.
And prevent one more SF Fantasy Manager from winning.
In addition, the guy isn't even a West Coast Cousin.


Prop Vinny
So you're telling me, The Greek is gone?
Well where the fuck he go?
How am I supposed to keep my supply going?


Travis Kelce
It's an unfortunate circumstance, but it must be done.
You and your urban crowd draw too much police attention.
We must go for now.
Once we are able to establish safe distribution, we will contact you.


Prop Vinny
What about the boy, Carson Wentz?
Heard he can cook crystal meth just as good as The Greek.

Travis Kelce
If you want him, you can draft him next season.
For now, we go.
Do not call us.
Do not reach out.
We will contact you.
For now, we have one last shipment scheduled for delivery.
I would advise that you sell it slow, until you've re-established a new distribution network.
But you run your business how you see fit.


Prop Vinny
I'll send Keenan Allen for the pick up.


Outside of Prop Vinny's business, Victor Oumar has been scouting the scene.


Victor Oumar
Prop Vinny and The Greek's gotta make an exchange somehow.
You follow the method, he'll bring you the man.
We on him, now.


Back at the SCGD Unit.

The Baugh
We are nearing the finish line, and this is the best we got?
Where in the blue hell has Rocksonberg gone?
There's a leak in our office.
Now all we have left to go on is Prop Vinny and Barksdale?
Where are we on Barksdale and Bell?
I want their candy asses in county by the end of Week 12.

Det. Tai
We're on it.
D'justin Barksdale has agreed to fully cooperate with the investigation.
In exchange, he wants full immunity and a playoff spot.
But with his information, we have everything we need to put those two assholes away.


Det. Joyce
And then, we drop the bracelets.

The Baugh
Give D'justin his immunity.

*Commercial*


Gavin Newsom
Now that I am your elected governor of California
I'm going to make some serious changes.
In the local level when it comes to crime and homelessness in San Francisco.
Immigration, LGBT rights, and most importantly,
the man in the white house.
Finally, change we can believe in.

*Commercial*


In the South side, Marlo Stealthy evaluates his team's performance.
As it stands, he is 5-6 and in 6th place.
The Fantasy Manager will be vying for an elusive playoff spot.


Stefon Diggs
Barksdale been quiet.
Don't think he'll clinch a playoff spot.

Marlo Stealthy
He's ducking the police.
You know what that mean?


David Johnson
Means we got a clear shot to the playoffs.


Marlo Stealthy
Where we at with Oumar?
How we not find this faggot yet?

Stefon Diggs
Oumar is slippery.
Word is, he snitching too.
Tevin say he saw him down at the precinct.


Marlo Stealthy
A fucking rat.
What a reputation to leave behind.
I'll tell you this though,
the playoff spot is ours once we beat Kenneth Bell.
Then we'll finish Oumar.
And the crown will be mine.


At San Francisco County Jail, D'justin's mother, Brianna Barksdale, visits her son.


Brianna Barksdale
D'justin.


D'justin Barksdale
Family is everything.
That's what you told me, right?
He is always talking family.
Family is the heart, he says.
Well, I'm family, ain't I?
What about me for once?
It ain't right.


Brianna Barksdale
What ain't right?
You want him to step up?
Take all the weight and let you walk?
Cause he will.
But if he does that, that means you gotta step up and fill his shoes.
Someone gotta write these weekly storylines.
You ready for that?


D'justin Barksdale
You know I ain't.
And I ain't ever gonna be ready for this game.
Look. They giving me a chance to walk away.
To start again some place else.



Brianna Barksdale
And what you giving them?
He messed up, Just.
He knows it. This season hasn't gone the way that he'd like.
Now if you want to get even with him.
You can. But if you hurt him, you hurt this whole family.
All of us.
The entire league depends on what you do next.
You take Jesse out, this entire operation collapses.
This here is apart of the game, Just.
And without the game, this whole family would be out in the projects living off scraps.
Hell, we probably wouldn't even be a family.
And you want to start over?
How the fuck are you gonna start over without your peoples.
You ain't got family in this world, then what the hell you got?



Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Week 11 Recap - HitMikeJonesUpOnDaLo vs. Justin's Team

Singles Match
HitMikeJonesUpOnDaLo vs. Justin's Team


Jesse Barksdale
"We got a package coming in from Oakland.
Zeke and McCaffrey got their hands tied at the moment.

I'm gonna need you to go and get that while they're away.

Jordan Howard is gonna fill you in on what you need."


D'justin Barksdale
"A package?
I haven't picked up a package in a while."



Jesse Barksdale

"Did you just hear what I just said?
My Fantasy Team is busy at the moment.
So I'm gonna need you to do it.
So go get it."


The SCGD unit plays a recording for D'justin Barksdale.


D'justin Barksdale
Y'all got that shit on tape?


Det. Tai
Mm-hmm.
And as you can see, we're real close to bringing down the entire organization and preventing an SF cousins from winning the Championship this season.
Now your season, is pretty much over.
You're facing a lot of time behind bars.
We have you and Jesse linked to the pick up.
With your prior record and physically being there to pick up the package, that's checkmate for you.
But for your cousin, no priors, at best he spends the summer in jail.
But that's not good enough for us.


D'justin Barksdale
What else y'all want?

Det. Tai
The murders.
Kenneth Bell and Jesse Barksdale are behind some serious murders this season.
And I'm afraid we don't have enough evidence to arrest them on those charges.
Using the tape we have, all we got is you locked away for 20 years and Jesse through the summer.
We have nothing on Kenneth Bell.


Michael Thomas
But you, you can ID the shooters on their Fantasy Teams.
Their network, their can't cut players.
If you cooperate with us, we'll have enough to take down the entire operation.
And if you do that for us, we'll let you walk.


The SCGD unit shows D'justin pictures of some crime scenes.

Det. Tai
You remember her.
Miss Jackson, the star witness for your murder trial this past summer.


D'justin Barksdale
They did her?

Det. Tai
Yup. But due to time constraints, budgeting and relevance, we couldn't include it into the storyline.
But she's not the only one.


Det. Tai
Your boy, Erik.


D'justin Barksdale
They're cleaning up.
Tying up loose ends.


Det. Tai
That's what we think as well.
Miss Jackson was paid off.
Any chance we flip her, Barksdale couldn't take that risk.
Stevens... I'm not sure why they did him.

D'justin Barksdale
They thought he was a snitch.


Det. Tai
Any idea who killed him?


D'justin Barksdale
I don't know.
Could've been anyone.
Shooters come cheap, you know?

Det. Tai
I don't think so.
He was found inside his home.
Had to be someone he knew.
Someone he trusted.


Det. Tai
And then there's Jimmy Graham.


Det. Tai
Stabbed, tortured.
And then put on display for the entire league to see.

D'justin Barksdale
To send a message, letting everyone know that our fantasy team wasn't to be messed with.


Det. Tai
Any idea who killed Graham?


D'justin Barksdale
I don't know for sure.
But Ezekiel Elliott is his star running back.
His first round draft choice.
There's no doubt he's involved in a couple of these murders.
Alvin Kamara for Stringer.
And a couple of other big hitters on both teams.


Michael Thomas
You did good, D'justin.
Now if you corroborate this story in court, and testify that your cousin Jesse Barksdale and Kenneth Bell orchestrated these hits,
that'll be enough to put them away.
You do that, we'll let you go.
Put you into witness protection, if need be.
That's the deal we have for you.
Now if you want any shot at the playoffs, you're gonna have to work with us.
If you want to win a Championship this season, you gotta do it the right way.
Bring us Barksdale and Bell, and we'll put you in the playoffs.
If you don't...
Then you're done in this league.

D'justin Barksdale
Y'all don't understand.
Y'all don't get it.
I grew up in this shit.
My cousins been playing Fantasy Football for years.
All my peoples, my cousins, my brothers, they been Fantasy Managing their entire lives.
It's just what we do.
I didn't even want to be in this league.
They asked me to join.
You just live this shit...
Until you can't breathe no more.
When I was in county... I was more free in jail, than I was out here.


Saul Goodman
Alright Batman and Robin. That's enough.
 I'm going to ask that I speak to my client alone,
so that we can assess his options.

The detectives leave.


Saul Goodman
Alright, D'jango.

D'justin Barksdale
D'justin.

Saul Goodman
Whatever.
I just want to let you know.
I appreciate your business here and I am going to look out for you.
I am going to represent the shit out of you!
You made the right choice by leaving Maurice Levy, that guys is a real asshole.
Now let's discuss your options.


Saul Goodman
I'm going to be honest with you, D'jango.
I've seen this case a million times, what they have on you...
I'm afraid you just aren't going to win that case.
I'm sure I could find violations in their paperwork, but given your history, I doubt they'll let you go.
Your best bet, may be to take the deal.


Saul Goodman
Now, I'll let you decide because if what the cops are saying is true...
Well, as soon as your cousin finds out that you're testifying against him.
I'm sure this Barksdale character will find a couple of homies to pop a cap in your ass, 
you know what I'm saying?
Isn't that street lingo for icing a fellow brother?
I don't know.
But if you don't take this deal, you very well could be spending the next two decades behind bars.
Think about it kid.

D'justin Barksdale
Bring the detectives back in.
I've made my decision.


Det. Tai
So what's it going to be, D'justin?


D'justin Barksdale
So long as you promise me the playoffs.
You let me go...
I'll bring you Jesse Barksdale and Kenneth Bell.
Both of them.

Winner via Pinfall:
Justin's Team