Across the Narrow Sea, Joyce Targaryen weds Khal Drogo and becomes Santa Khaleesi to the Dothraki people.
Dothraki warriors fight to the death in honor of the occasion.
Joyce is squeamish and disgusted by the act of murder to celebrate a wedding.
A priest approaches with a wedding gift for Khal Drogo and Joyce Targaryen.
[Priest]
Khal Drogo, Santa Khaleesi.
I present to you, Diva Eggs.
Santa Khaleesi picks up an egg and examines it.
[Priest]
It's a very rare gift. Ancient Diva Eggs.
Unfortunately they've turned into stone over time.
But they will always be beautiful additions to your Fantasy Team.
[Joyce Targaryen]
Thank you.
[Jorah Mormont]
You have a very strong Fantasy Team, Santa Khaleesi.
Yahoo Sports gave you the best grade in the entire league.
Your brother, Sandy Orton, did the same last season.
[Joyce Targaryen]
You knew my brother?
You're from West Coasteros?
[Jorah]
Yes. Ser Jorah Mormont.
I served your father, the King.
I was exiled from West Coasteros along with the rest of your family after Rockson Stark and Robert Baratheon took King's Landing.
[Jorah]
I will continue to serve your family, Santa Khaleesi.
I will always serve the rightful King.
[Joyce Targaryen]
My family is gone.
[Jorah]
You can still take back the Iron Throne, Santa Khaleesi.
You were last season's Champion.
And now you have Khal Drogo's army.
[Jorah]
Khal Drogo has many valiant warriors on his team.
Antonio Brown, arguably the best wide receiver in the entire league.
Jordy Nelson will surely rebound from his prior injuries.
[Joyce Targaryen]
My quarterback could be better.
[Jorah]
Well there's no point in crying yourself a river, Santa Khaleesi.
It will take some time, but you can reclaim your Kingdom.
You can repeat as League Champion.
Khal Drogo has many valiant warriors on his team.
Antonio Brown, arguably the best wide receiver in the entire league.
Jordy Nelson will surely rebound from his prior injuries.
[Joyce Targaryen]
My quarterback could be better.
[Jorah]
Well there's no point in crying yourself a river, Santa Khaleesi.
It will take some time, but you can reclaim your Kingdom.
You can repeat as League Champion.
[Jorah]
But I'm afraid I have some unpleasant news, Joyce.
Robert Baratheon is dead, but before his passing,
Robert Baratheon made it clear that he wanted to you dead.
In order to legitimize the Baratheon claim to the throne, his heir,
Evan Baratheon will surely have you killed.
We best proceed with caution.
There's no telling who they will send to kill you...
Back in King's Landing, Ken Baelish awaits the arrival of Rockson Stark.
[Ken Baelish]
Lord Stark, I am Ken Baelish.
A member of the small council.
Before Robert's passing, we discussed matters and affairs involving the state of this Fantasy League.
I wanted to discuss a particular issue with the new Hand of the King.
[Rockson Stark]
With all due respect, Lord Baelish, I'm off to see my son.
[Ken Baelish]
It's a matter of the Targaryen girl.
[Rockson Stark]
What of it? The Targaryen's have been exiled from West Coasteros.
[Ken Baelish]
Before Robert Baratheon passed away, he asked me to send my Fantasy Team across the Seas to kill her. I wanted to know how you wanted me to proceed.
[Rockson Stark]
Kill her? She's just a child.
[Ken Baelish]
A child indeed, but a child who has inherited a Dothraki army.
Robert Baratheon made it a priority to have her killed.
She cannot repeat as League Champion.
[Rockson Stark]
Killed? I will not have a murder of a child on my hands.
She has already been barred from West Coasteros.
I see no reason that we must take further action.
[Ken Baelish]
My Fantasy Team has already been deployed.
It would take days to recall them back.
I fear it is too late.
[Rockson Stark]
Then why did you come to me?
[Ken Baelish]
I merely came to you for a battle strategy.
If you will have no part in this, I shall take matters into my own hands.
I've beaten her before, I shall do it again.
[Rockson Stark]
The girl had nothing to do with the actions of The Mad King or Santa Rhaegar.
She is innocent in all of this.
I command that you recall your Fantasy Team.
[Ken Baelish]
As I've stated before, my plan is already in place.
By the time I've sent word to my Fantasy Team, it'll be too late.
And while she may be a minor problem for now, it would be wise not to wait until she becomes a bigger problem later on.
You are honorable, Rockson Stark.
But do not expect others in King's Landing to share your empathy.
While you may have reservations to kill a child, others may feel differently.
Such as the case of your boy, Justin Stark.
[Rockson Stark]
What are you saying?
That someone tried to murder my boy?
[Ken Baelish]
While I cannot prove this to be the case, it wouldn't surprise me if it were so.
[Rockson Stark]
Why would anyone want to hurt Justin?
[Ken Baelish]
Perhaps to get to you.
You were named Hand of the King. A position, most desirable, here in King's Landing.
And from what I hear, while adventurous and mischievous, Justin Stark is not known to misstep while climbing the walls.
If someone did aim to kill Justin, I will surely hear of it.
I have my ears to the ground, as should you, Lord Stark.
[Rockson Stark]
Why are you helping me, Baelish?
[Ken Baelish]
I was friends with your wife, Lord Stark.
Anyone who wants to hurt those close to Catelyn Stark, will surely have to answer to me.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
[Cersei Luunister]
How could you be so stupid?
He saw us.
The Stark boy saw us.
[Tai Luunister]
The Stark boy is dead.
[Cersei Luunister]
They are saying the boy is alive.
[Tai Luunister]
Well, did he say anything?
About us?
[Cersei Luunister]
He hasn't said a word.
He's in a coma.
But it's only a matter of time before he wakes up and tells everyone what he saw.
And then, if Rockson Stark finds out about us.
He is Hand of the King.
He'll remove Evan from power and have us killed.
[Tai Luunister]
Rockson Stark is a buffoon.
I would love to play him in a game of Fantasy Football.
A fluky one time champion, Rockson Stark cannot hold a candle to my abilities as a Fantasy Manager.
[Cersei Luunister]
Yes, but he is Protector of the Realm.
[Tai Luunister]
Thanks to your late husband.
I will take care of Rockson Stark.
He will never find out about us.
[Cersei Luunister]
How can you be so sure?
[Tai Luunister]
Because Justin Stark will never wake up from his coma.
Catelyn Stark watches over her son, Justin Stark as Jesse Snow walks in.
[Jesse Snow]
I came to say goodbye to Justin.
[Catelyn Stark]
Coldy to Jesse Snow:
You've said it.
[Jesse Snow]
Justin, I'm sorry I won't be here when you wake.
I'm going North.
I'm joining the Yahoo Sports Public League.
Father will be headed to King's Landing.
I think it'd be best if I left San Francisco and joined the Yahoo's Watch.
When you're better, maybe you can come visit me at the Wall.
Maybe even I'll show you the offices of Yahoo Sports.
Catelyn Stark looks at Jesse Snow bitterly.
[Catelyn Stark]
I want you to leave.
Rockson Stark walks in as Jesse Snow leaves the room.
[Rockson Stark]
You need some rest, Cate.
[Catelyn Stark]
I won't leave him.
I won't leave his side.
When he wakes, I must be here.
And so should you.
[Rockson Stark]
You know I can't do that.
I must return to King's Landing.
[Catelyn Stark]
Why?
Why must you return to King's Landing?
[Rockson Stark]
I was commanded by my King to serve as Protector of the Realm until Evan becomes of age.
I am the Hand of the King. I must serve my duty.
I am the Hand of the King. I must serve my duty.
[Catelyn Stark]
The last time you served your King and went down to King's Landing, you didn't come back alone.
The last time you served your King and went down to King's Landing, you didn't come back alone.
You brought him with you.
That boy.
Your bastard, Jesse Snow.
[Rockson Stark]
He's a great Fantasy Manager, Cate.
He's also a damn good football player.
But I promise you.
It won't be like that, this time.
I will return to San Francisco, alone.
He's also a damn good football player.
But I promise you.
It won't be like that, this time.
I will return to San Francisco, alone.
Rockson Stark leaves to say farewell to Jesse Snow.
[Rockson Stark]
It's a great honor.
To serve for the Yahoo's Watch.
The Starks have manned the wall for hundreds of years.
[Jesse Snow]
But I'm not a Stark.
[Rockson Stark]
You may not have my name, but you have my blood.
[Jesse Snow]
My mother. You never told me about her.
Is she alive?
Does she know where I am?
[Rockson Stark]
The next time I see you..
I'll tell you all about her.
I promise.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Jesse Snow prepares to ride North for the Yahoo Public Leagues.
Nick Luunister watches as Jesse Snow reviews his Fantasy Team.
[Nick Luunister]
Amazing. You managed to snag Rob Gronkowski in the 2nd round of a 12 player draft.
I wanted him, myself. Lucky of you to land such a potent Fantasy Weapon.
[Jesse Snow]
Nick Luunister.
The younger brother of the Queen.
[Nick Luunister]
And you. Jesse Snow.
The great bastard of Rockson Stark.
I've heard so much about you.
I hear you're a mighty fine football player.
But I'm afraid, I've heard you're quite the disappointment when it comes to Fantasy Football.
For someone who seemingly loves football so much, you'd think you would've won a League Championship by now.
[Jesse Snow]
I haven't seen you fair much better, having never notched a win at FantasyMania.
[Nick Luunister]
Well, I? I am a dwarf.
No one expects me to win anything.
I'm not even one of the cousins in the "West Coast Cousins".
You, on the other hand. You are allegedly the Face That Runs the Place.
But instead of running the place, I hear you're running away.
Off to the Yahoo Public Leagues.
[Jesse Snow]
It's a great honor to play in the Yahoo Public Leagues.
To serve for the Yahoo's Watch.
[Nick Luunister]
Is that what they told you?
Have you not heard what the Watch is?
A league for those who are inactive and cannot win in any other Fantasy Format.
I can see why you're joining.
Couldn't survive in the West Coast Cousins.
And to run from your shame.
The shame of being Rockson Stark's bastard.
But no matter what, in the eyes of your peers, you will always be a bastard.
Do not be ashamed of it.
The world will not forget that you are a bastard.
Wear it like a badge of honor.
[Jesse Snow]
What the hell do you know about being a bastard?
[Nick Luunister]
All dwarves are bastards in their father's eyes.
I don't hide from my appearance.
Others may underestimate me, but I use it to my advantage.
[Jesse Snow]
What are you doing with that book?
[Nick Luunister]
It's called reading, bastard.
I study my fantasy team, I read advice from the Fantasy Experts.
It helps me prepare my team.
You have your sword, I have my books.
The mind is a terrible tool to waste.
[Nick Luunister]
Steel sharpens steel, so how about a proposal?
Your fantasy team versus my fantasy team.
Maybe the two of us can learn a little bit as we start the season.
What say you, bastard?
Catelyn Stark remains with Justin Stark as an intruder enters the room.
[Intruder]
You're not supposed to be here..
The intruder pulls out a knife.
From out of no where! Sidney Stark draws his weapon and stabs the intruder.
Sidney Stark examines the knife.
[Catelyn Stark]
Justin didn't slip. This was no accident.
Sidney, someone is trying to murder Justin.
We have to find out where this knife came from.
Ken Baelish walks in.
[Ken Baelish]
If I can be of assistance...
I know that knife is from.
[Sidney Stark]
How do you know that?
[Ken Baelish]
Because the knife is mine.
I know that knife is from.
[Sidney Stark]
How do you know that?
[Ken Baelish]
Because the knife is mine.
[Catelyn Stark]
What is the meaning of this?
[Ken Baelish]
The sigil is mine.
The knife belongs to me.
But I sold it.
It belongs to the Luunisers now.
A dwarf by the name of Nick Luunister bought it from me.
[Ken Baelish]
I sold it to him a week ago.
If I had to guess, I'd say the Luunisters want your son dead.
[Sidney Stark]
Why would the Luunisters want Justin dead?
This is a declaration of war.
[Ken Baelish]
Careful, Young Wolf.
With your father heading back to King's Landing, you are now the head of the Stark family.
I wouldn't do anything rash without further investigation.
The Luunisters haven't a clue that we know what they're up to.
This is the only advantage that we have.
We best tread carefully before we make our next move, Sidney.
I will help you find Nick Luunister and we will get to the bottom of this.
[Sidney Stark]
Nick is headed North with my half brother, Jesse Snow.
[Ken Baelish]
Then we haven't much time.
It appears the Luunisters aim to harm your family.
And I'm afraid Jesse Snow is in grave danger.
