West Coast Cousins Fantasy Football: 2020-10-18

A buzzer sounds as Kevlo Stanfield

enters visitation at Foxriver Penitentiary.

He sits down as he takes a look at a photo of the man he's visiting.

Carson Wentz, who is serving a one year sentence for his involvement

with the late Rocksonberg.

The door opens, but it's Jesse Barksdale that walks out.

Jesse Barksdale

Surprise!

My man Carson, thought we should talk first.

Kevlo Stanfield

Talk about what?

Jesse Barksdale

That's on you, youngin'.

Whatever business you're trying to do with Carson,

you gotta go through me first.

Kevlo Stanfield

Yeah?

Jesse Barksdale

Yeah.

Cause up in this bitch here,

I'm what you might consider... an authority figure.

You know? Everybody gotta get my help,

or ask my advice on all kinds of shit.

Jesse Barksdale

Carson step to me the other day, talking about this dude, Kevlo,

who he don't even know, just be sending him cash money

to get on his visiting list.

So then he asked me if I knew Kevlo,

and I'm like hell yeah I know Kevlo.

Real well.

Jesse Barksdale

I mean in the South Side, everybody know everybody right?

Jesse Barksdale

Let me help you find your tongue.

Jesse Barksdale

You trying to get to Carson Wentz,

cause he was talking to SCGD.

You want to get to SCGD,

cause they got their hands on the Time Stone.

So you think, if you can get to Carson Wentz,

you can get to the Time Stone.

And that way, you can fuck all kinds of shit up.

Jesse Barksdale

I mean, you a natural businessman, right?

A coldblooded killer.

Jesse Barksdale

But this is the thing though.

I'm with you on all that.

Our people got to stick together and get in on this storyline.

And you know? All the fuss about you coming at me,

I say let bygones be bygones.

But fuck all them West Coast Cousins.

That's just how I feel about it.

Jesse Barksdale

But I mean, you know?

I got to have my taste too.

Kevlo Stanfield

Mmm... figured that.

Jesse Barksdale

So send me $50 in FAAB

and the next time you come to Foxriver,

It won't be my grill talking at you.

My word on that.

Kevlo Stanfield

$50 FAAB, huh?

Jesse Barksdale

...so what's up, man?

What's up with you otherwise, you know?

Kevlo Stanfield

Ah you know, the game is the game.

Jesse Barksdale

Always.

WEST COAST COUSINS:
FANTASY WAR

Episode Seven - Fall Brawl

The pyros explode as Jim Ross welcomes us to Wednesday Night Preview

Jim Ross

Good evening folks, we are in the sold out Mercedes-Benz Stadium

here in Atlanta, Georgia for Week 7 in the West Coast Cousins.

Jim Ross

Jim Ross alongside my broadcast partner,

Jerry "The King" Lawler.

And up next King, we're gonna see the Viper Sandy Orton

in tag team action with her partner, CM PUP,

taking on the Young Bucks.

King

Here is Ms. Money in the Bank now!

The Viper Sandy Orton!

Jim Ross

Sandy Orton has had a strong season thus far,

with a record of 4-2, but after a poor performance

in Week 6, some are questioning the longevity

of the former World Champion.

Jim Ross

And her tag team partner tonight, The Best in the League,

CM PUP.

King

CM PUP sure hasn't looked like the best this season.

Jim Ross

There is no doubt that CM PUP has struggled

in the first half of the season.

It's not how we're used to seeing him,

but his playoff hopes are still alive after a Week 6 win.

We'll see if CM PUP can remain in the Top 6.

*Bullet Club's Music Hits*

Jim Ross

And these two, known collectively, as The Young Bucks,

coming out here apparently dressed as cartoon characters.

King

They're Street Fighters, JR!

Don't you know anything, you Boomer!

Jim Ross

I guess I'm just a fossil in today's society...

Oh... but take a look at this.

A fan has seemingly jumped onto the stage.

King

Someone get this idiot out of here!

The lights go out.

Jim Ross

...wh-what's this now?

Kenny Omega appears on stage,

knocking the fan out.

King

It's the Bullet Club leader!

Kenny Omega dressed as Akuma!

Jim Ross

Well CM PUP looks focused on taking out this "Akuma."

And apparently, Kenny Omega is headed this way

towards our commentary table.

Tag Team Match

Sandy Orton & CM PUP

vs.

The Young Bucks

Jim Ross

Sandy Orton starts off against Miles Sanders

as we welcome Kenny Omega to the broadcast table.

Kenny Omega

Thank you, JR.

It has always been a dream of mine to call a match

with one of the greatest of all time..

Jim Ross

Well thank you very much, that means a lot

coming from you Kenny.

Kenny Omega

Don't flatter yourself, JR.

I was talking about Jerry Lawler!

King

Haha! Yeah, he was talking about me!

Jim Ross

Well let's talk about your ongoing feud with CM PUP then.

Kenny Omega

Oh! Look at those knees by the Young Bucks!

Come on, JR!

How do you miss that call?

And you call yourself a professional?

King

Be a professional JR!

Kenny Omega

As far as CM PUP goes, there is no feud.

I don't know what everyone is talking about.

He cost me the Championship in Week 1,

but I hold no animosity towards the man.

Jim Ross

With all due respect, I find that hard to believe.

Kenny Omega

Where are you getting your sources, JR?

Are you listening to the fake news media?

Jim Ross

CM PUP signals for the GTS.

This could be the beginning of the end.

Kenny, if I may ask.

What is your relationship with Donald Trump?

How can you align yourself with a man so vile?

A man set on dividing this country?

Kenny Omega

Dividing this country?

I think it's the Democrats that is dividing this country.

Donald Trump was elected by the American people.

And every step of the way,

the Democrats have been trying to tear him down,

thus creating division.

They never accepted this man as their President.

They never gave him a chance,

and now they've forced his hand.

Jim Ross

GTS by CM PUP!

But Miles Sanders comes in with a superkick!

CM PUP is knocked to the outside.

Kenny Omega

If you ask me, CM PUP looks rusty.

This is the worst I've seen him play in years.

He has yet to embrace his full potential,

but clearly he's not The Best in the League anymore.

Victory has defeated him.

Jim Ross

And how would you rate your own performance

thus far, Kenny?

Kenny Omega

By season's end, my master plan will be in place,

don't you worry Jim Ross.

Ah, look out, Sandy Orton reversing

the Twist of Fate into an RKO!

Are you really going to miss another call, JR?

Jim Ross

Orton goes for the cover, but Nick Chubb breaks it up!

CM PUP tries to get back in on the action,

leaping off the top rope aiming for Chubb.

But Chubb moves out of the way, and PUP hits Orton!

The Young Bucks take advantage with a double tombstone!

1-2-3!

Winner via Pinfall:

The Young Bucks

After the match, Sandy Orton snaps,

taking out her rage on CM PUP.

Kenny Omega

Look at this dysfunction, JR!

It's a representation of America!

These people will never get along,

and they'll never get on the same page.

Kenny Omega

Well look at that boys,

another win for the good guys.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I've got a mess to clean up.

Kenny Omega hits Sandy Orton with the V-Trigger!

He looks to CM PUP.

Kenny Omega

Get up, PUP.

You've got work to do.

*Commercial*

Joe Biden

You're a lying dog faced pony soldier.

I'm Joe Biden and I approve this message.

*Commercial*

We return to Preview in an unknown location

in the deserts of New Mexico.

Donald Trump and AOC arrive.

???

WELCOME.... Donald.

Son of Frederick.

Alexandria, daughter of Sergio.

Donald Trump

You know us?

???

It is my CURSE to know all who journey here...

ha, ha, ha... yesss...

Donald Trump

Where is the Soul Stone?

???

You should know, it extracts a TERRIBLE price.

Donald Trump

I am prepared.

???

We all think that at first... ha, ha, ha... yes.

The shadowy figure emerges.

...

Broken Matt Hardy

We are all WRONG...

Trump and AOC follow Broken Matt Hardy to the Soul Stone.

Donald Trump

How is it you know this place so well?

Broken Matt Hardy

Ahhh... yes....
A life time ago, I too, traveled across the world to find the Fantasy Stones.
In my TREMENDOUS journey, I endured DEATH DEFYING feats.
Crashing through TABLES.
Flying off LADDERS!
Smashed with CHAIRS!
In my endeavors, I suffered a GREAT MIRACLE!
I became... BROKEN!
And that TRANSFORMATION... ha ha ha... yes...
has SHOWN me the MULTIVERSE!
There, I learned universal truths and became CURSED
with guiding those to a TREASURE,

I cannot possess.
Ha ha ha... yes....

AOC
This is insane, we should turn around, Donald.

This man crazy.

Broken Matt Hardy

What you seek, LIES before you...

As does what you FEAR, ha, ha, ha! Yesssss.

AOC

What is this?

Broken Matt Hardy

The PRICE.

Ha, ha, ha! The SOUL STONE holds a SPECIAL place

among the Fantasy Stones.
It DEMANDS a sacrifice.

For those who are deemed WORTHY of beholding the Soul Stone...
You MUST lose that what you.... LOVE!
Ha ha ha... yesss...

A soul for a soul.

Donald Trump looks over the cliff,
struggling with his current predicament.

AOC

Laughing:

In all of my years in politics, I dreamed of a day,

a moment, when you got what you deserved.

You lie and you cheat, and you call it liberation.

The Universe has judged you.

You have failed.

And do you want to know why?

Because you love nothing!

No one!

Donald Trump quickly shaves his head,

sacrificing his hair.

Broken Matt Hardy
WONDERFUL!

A sacrifice has been made!

Broken Matt Hardy hands Donald Trump the Soul Stone.

AOC

What? How?

Are you freaking kidding me?
He sacrifices his hair and he gets the stone?

Broken Matt Hardy
It is a WORTHY sacrifice!
Ha, ha! Yesssss, a man will face great HUMILATION
without his luscious and VIBRANT hair.
Especially, a man with hair as ICONIC as Donald Trump....
CONGRATULATIONS!
Your hair has been.... DELETED!