Narrator
At Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago,
former President Trump holds a special event for close friends and family.
Donald Trump
Friends and family, today I am honored to present to you,
the first ever Auction Draft for the United Confederacy of America.
We will start the bidding with a special young man.
Trust me, he is one hell of a physical specimen.
And the owner of this young man will be a lucky individual,
let me tell you, he is really something.
Donald Trump
The Draft is now Open.
First on the docket, Seattle Seahawks Wide Receiver,
DK Metcalf.
Let the auction begin.
Dean Armitage
We will start the bidding at $1.
$2 is the bid. Do I see $3?
$5 is the bid.
Dean Armitage
$10 is the bid.
Dean Armitage
$33 is the bid.
$36. $37. $40!
Do I see $41?
Going once... going twice.
Dean Armitage
Sold.
DK Metcalf sold for $40.
Outside of the Mar-a-Lago,
a number of cars arrive on the scene.
The Baugh
Alright. I need everybody in position.
We've only got one shot to get this right.
On my signal, we're a go.
The Baugh
Hey, Donald!
You're under arrest for war crimes against the United States of America.
Donald Trump
Arrest?
That's funny, I don't feel like I'm under arrest.
What about you, Kyle?
Do you feel under arrest?
Kyle Rittenhouse
No, sir.
Not even a little bit.
The Baugh
Give it a minute.
It'll sink in.
Donald Trump lets out a disappointing sigh.
Donald Trump
Baughy, I gave you proper warning last time.
I told you that if you ever made another attempt on my life,
I would end it all.
I'll give you one last chance to walk away.
Do you really want to try your luck one more time?
The Baugh
This time, it's different.
This time, I've got the upper hand on your ass.
So I suggest you just give yourself up.
Because this is going to end very badly for you.
Donald Trump
I admire your confidence, Baugh.
You've always been a confident man.
And what a story you have.
An oversized jock with nothing but 7 bucks in his pocket.
He goes on to make a name for himself in the world of
Professional Fantasy Managaing.
Then, seemingly out of no where,
he becomes the biggest draw in Hollywood.
It's quite impressive, Baughy.
Donald Trump
That's the American Dream.
You have lived an incredible life.
I respect you.
And I respect that you're willing to give that all up,
and for what?
So that millions of others can go on and enjoy their meaningless lives?
You should have accepted the world I had given you.
Donald Trump
But when it's all said and done...
I will mourn you.
I will honor the contributions that you've given the world.
But sadly, this is where your story ends.
This is the path that you've chosen.
You could not live with your own failure.
Where did that bring you?
Donald Trump
Back to me.
The Baugh rushes Donald Trump.
WEST COAST COUSINS:
ENDGAME
Episode Fifteen - FantasyMania Round 1
Jim Ross
Welcome to FantasyMania XIII!
We are live in Tampa Bay, Florida
for the Final FantasyMania of the storyline era!
Jim Ross
It has been a historic run in the West Coast Cousins,
and as we close the final chapter of this book,
anything can happen in the WCCF.
We are in for one heck of a show these next 3 weeks.
Jim Ross
Good evening folks and thank you for joining.
I'm Jim Ross, alongside me as always, Jerry "The King" Lawler.
And King, when you look at the Top 6,
you are looking at the best of the best this season.
Six Fantasy Managers will enter,
but only one will be able to call themselves this season's League Champion.
As we take a quick look at this year's FantasyMania competitors.
[1] Joyce's Team (12-2)
[2] Rock Reigns (10-4)
[3] John Seana (9-5)
[4] Dalvin's Cook Out (8-6)
[5] Dollar Discount Team (8-6)
[6] Look like I lost (7-7)
*Chris Vinson's Music Hits*
Jim Ross
As we kick things off here on Preview,
Chris Vinson making his first FantasyMania appearance.
In his 5th season in the WCCF,
Chris Vinson has made one heck of an impact.
But a dream come true for this young Fantasy Manager,
his FantasyMania moment has arrived.
King
He's having his best year in this Fantasy League,
and you've got to hand it to him for the offseason improvements.
He's worked hard to get to this stage,
but knowing Vinson the way that I do,
I know he wants more than just making it to the playoffs.
He wants it all.
*Crowd Cheers*
Jim Ross
These fans in Tampa Bay, cheering on Y2V.
What a moment for this young man.
He deserves this.
Chris Vinson
Well.. well... well.
It seems like the Vin-a-holics are in full force here in Tampa Bay!
*Crowd Cheers*
Chris Vinson
Last night at Judgment Day, I earned my spot in this League.
Because not only did I clinch a playoff spot,
I also was the first Fantasy Manager to score a pinfall or submission.
Which means, I beat out Kevane, Vic Angle, Single H, Stone Cold,
Baugh and the Underchucker all in the same night!
Chris Vinson
Which means, I am the greatest Fantasy Manager out of the bunch.
And trust me, if SC Lesnar, Rock Michaels or John Seana was in the match,
I'd kick their asses too!
Chris Vinson
I proved to the entire world that I am worthy.
I had the foresight to draft breakout superstars like Ja'Marr Chase.
While the rest of the stupid idiots in the back
were worried about his preseason drops,
I knew that Ja'Marr was a league winner.
Which is why I was able to draft Ja'Marr for a measly $5.
Chris Vinson
But it doesn't stop in Week 15.
Oh no, this may be my first playoff appearance,
but you can bet your ass it won't be my last.
This is the best version of Chris Vinson that you have ever seen.
The only undefeated Fantasy Manager at this year's 'Mania.
And for those gamblers at home,
you're looking at the betting favorite.
The dark horse to win it all, the Ayatollah of Fantasy-ola!
Chris Vinson!
Chris Vinson
Trust me, this is just the beginning.
To all of my fans who have been waiting for this moment,
I assure you, I'm just getting started.
I won't stop until I am Champion of the Universe!
We are tired of the same old status quo and we will break the walls down!
*Single H's Music Hits*
King
Uh oh... this spells trouble for Y2V.
Single H and The Corporation making their way down to the ring.
Jim Ross
Last night, we saw Single H officially align himself
with Mr. McMahon and The Corporation.
Single H now carrying the WCCF Championship,
taking it away from last season's League Champion, The Baugh.
What power that this faction possesses.
We are indeed in the McMahon-Helmsley Era.
King
Single H looks great, JR.
He started from the bottom, but now he's here.
What a turnaround it has been for The Game.
Jim Ross
There is no doubt, it has been a dramatic season for Single H.
And now that he's backed by the founder of the West Coast Cousins,
Single H may very well be on his way to a 4th League Championship.
Single H
This is cute, isn't it?
A feel good, heartwarming story for the holiday season.
Chris Vinson finally made the playoffs!
What an amazing story.
Single H
But this is where your story ends, Chris.
Because this isn't your typical Disney movie.
This isn't the tale of the underdog overcoming the odds to win it all.
Single H
Oh no, because you see Chris. This is reality.
And in reality, the winners write the history books.
You're looking at a winner, Chris.
A 3x League Champion, the first and only WCCF Superstar
to win back to back... and not only that but to 3peat on top of that.
A feat that'll never be matched in this League again.
Single H
And don't get me wrong, Vinson.
You're a good Fantasy Manager.
You've had a good year, but unfortunately, you're just not good enough.
You see Chris, you're more of a B+ player.
You've never been the guy and quite frankly,
you're not capable of being the guy.
Single H
A guy like you is around to put someone like me over.
You're a stepping stone for the road to the top.
No offense, but you're just not cut from that type of cloth.
But you should be honored that I am allowing you
to share the stage with me.
I am giving you the opportunity to perform at the highest stage,
and I'm sure you'll put on a hell of a performance.
But in the end, you're staring up at those bright lights
after hearing the count 1...2...3!
Mr. McMahon
Chris, I would first like to congratulate you on your first FantasyMania.
It is no easy feat and you should be proud of your accomplishments.
But to put it bluntly, Single H said it best.
You're not the guy.
And to be quite honest, your own fans don't believe in you.
*Crowd Boos*
Mr. McMahon
These fans, they want to live vicariously through you.
When they look at you, they see themselves.
A weak, overachieving, never amounted to anything,
good for nothing waste of human space.
Jim Ross
Oh, come on. This has gone far enough.
Mr. McMahon
They'll cheer you on and they'll root as hard as they can.
But the simple fact is, they don't believe you can win it all.
And you know why?
You're an outsider, Vinson.
You're not a Luu.
You're not apart of this family.
You're not a West Coast Cousin.
*Crowd Boos*
Mr. McMahon
So this Sunday, in the opening round of FantasyMania,
you will see firsthand what a true Champion looks like.
The whole world will see what a true Champion looks like.
Our FantasyMania host, Donald Trump, will be in attendance.
And the whole world will witness the Cerebral Sandwich
doing what he does best.
Because he's that damn good.
And you?
To put it simply, you're just not Championship material.
*Crowd Boos*
Chris Vinson
Well Vince, you'll have to excuse me.
Because I didn't quite catch all of that.
Especially because I was distracted by
that bargain basement slut that you call
a daughter standing right besides you!
*Crowd Cheers*
King
What?! You can't call her that!
What about women's equality?
Oh, Single H is going to make Vinson pay for those words.
Chris Vinson
But you know what?
Seeing as it is my first FantasyMania, I've got a bit of the jitters.
So let's shake the rust.
Why wait until Sunday?
If you're that damn good, let's get it on right here, right now!
Let's preview this Sunday's matchup!
*Crowd Cheers*
You would like that, wouldn't you Chris?
Chris Vinson
Well if your man doesn't have the balls to step up,
I'll take on any one of his cronies, it doesn't matter!
Mr. McMahon
I'll tell you right now.
I would be a fool to put that match on free television.
And quite frankly, these fans here in Tampa Bay
don't deserve to see that matchup.
*Crowd Boos*
Mr. McMahon
But I'll tell you what I'll do instead.
Since you've got to shake off some nerves,
tonight you will compete... in that very ring.
And your opponent will be... fellow FantasyMania participant...
JOHN SEANA!
Jim Ross
Well that's not fair at all, King.
Vinson has to play, meanwhile Single H gets the night off.
In what world is that fair?
King
He asked for it, JR.
He has the playoff jitters.
If anything, this is an advantage for Vinson,
he gets to practice ahead of Sunday's big match!
Jim Ross
Regardless of that fact, we have one hell of a main event tonight.
Chris Vinson taking on John Seana.
Folks, we will be right back from commercial break
as we continue the opening round of FantasyMania!
*Commercial*
Star Wars: The Phantom Menance.
Own the collector cups before Disney
buys us out and oversaturates the marketplace.
*Commercial*
Jonathan Coachman
Stone Cold, we are just 24 hours removed from your playoff
clinching performance last night at Judgment Day.
After missing FantasyMania last season,
how does it feel to be back in the playoffs,
especially given the fact that you just barely made the cut.
Steve Pupstin
Just barely made the cut?
Is that your way of twisting the knife?
Jonathan Coachman
No, Steve. I didn't mean anything by it.
Steve Pupstin
Shut up, Coach.
Because I don't give a damn what you've got to say.
The fact of the matter is, you talk about Stone Cold
being the 6th seed, well I'll tell you what.
I'm the most dangerous 6th seed Superstar this league has ever seen.
But don't take my word for it.
Look at the numbers, I'm Top 2 in scoring
and the only Fantasy Manager that has a shot
at beating Santa Clara Lesnar for the League Championship.
Steve Pupstin
And the only reason why I've lost so many games
this season is due to inadequacies of the League Commissioner,
namely my Week 4 suspension, the imbalanced schedule,
inactive Fantasy Managers and on top of that,
Vince McMahon trying to make my life a living hell.
Steve Pupstin
Because if there's one thing Mr. McMahon can't stand,
it's watching Stone Cold cap off the Storyline Era
with a record setting 4th League Championship
and leaving no doubt that I am the baddest
mother fucker this league has ever seen.
And that's all I got to say about that!
Jonathan Coachman
Well Steve, tonight your opponent John Seana
will face off against Chris Vinson.
How closely will you be watching the match
and what do you hope to learn,
given the fact that Seana has beaten you twice earlier this season?
Steve Pupstin
You're just asking for an ass whooping, aren't you Coach?
Well I'll tell you this.
John Seana likes to talk about being screwed over.
Well John Seana had his opportunity and he blew it.
Last season, he made it to the Championship Game
and choked under pressure.
It was his year last season and he should've made the most of it.
I'm no stranger to losing, I've lost in the Championship Game
as well, but the difference is, I bounced back and won the whole damn thing.
Steve Pupstin
John Seana, last season I let you have your moment.
I had a down year and you should've taken advantage,
because now Stone Cold is making his return to FantasyManiaand now you're just some son of a bitch that's standing
in my way of becoming the next WCCF League Champion.
And that's the bottom line...
CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!
Singles Match
John Seana vs. Dalvin's Cookout
Jim Ross
It is now time for our main event of the evening,
ordered by the owner of the West Coast Cousins, Mr. McMahon.
Chris Vinson and John Seana is one on one action,
and King, conceivable this could be the main event of FantasyMania XIII.
If John Seana and Vinson were to win their next two games,
this very well could be a preview of the Championship Match.
King
Well, they're gonna have to get through two 3x League Champions
in Single H and Stone Cold in order to do that, JR.
Jim Ross
Action picking up quickly as Seana clothesline Vinson.
Jim Ross
But Vinson right back to his feet,
with a kick to the midsection of Seana.
Jim Ross
Now Vinson in control...
*Single H's Music Hits*
Jim Ross
Wait a minute, that didn't take long at all.
Single H sticking his nose where it doesn't belong.
What is he doing down here?
King
He just wants to take a closer look at the match, JR.
He's scouting his opponent,
that's what a good Fantasy Manager does.
*Degneration F's Music Hits*
Jim Ross
Oh really?
You call this scouting?
Single H's posse, Degeneration F making their way to the ring.
P-Pac, Rieballs and Space Dogg,
childhood friends of Single H and they don't have good intentions.
Jim Ross
And just like that, the referee calls for the bell.
All four of them beating down on Chris Vinson.
You call this fair and balanced?
Mr. McMahon knew exactly what was gonna happen here.
This is all planned by the Cerebral Sandwich.
Jim Ross
Seana now, getting in on the action,
trying to fend off Degeneration F.
Jim Ross
But it's a numbers game.
Seana and Vinson are no match for Degeneration F.
*Stone Cold Steve Pupstin's Music Hits*
*Crowd Cheers*
Jim Ross
Here we go!
That caught Single H's attention!
Jim Ross
Oh! From behind!
Stone Cold! Stone Cold!
These fans in Tampa are going wild for Stone Cold!
King
Oh no! Stephaneah get out of there!
Jim Ross
The Rattlesnake is cleaning house!
Everyone is on their feet here at the Ice Palace!
Stone Cold! Stone Cold!
Jim Ross
Space Dogg going head first into the steel steps!
Hell yes! Hell yes!
Seana gathers himself and
nods to Pupstin out of respect.
Jim Ross
Oh! Stunner! Stunner!
Stone Cold Stunner to Seana!
Jim Ross
And Seana is out cold!
It is every man for themselves this Sunday.
Stone Cold could careless whether you're a babyface or heel!
Everyone's got a target on their back from Stone Cold!
Stone Cold celebrates as the Tampa Bays continue to cheer.
Jim Ross
Stone Cold and Seana!
Vinson and Single H!
This is one hell of a opening round for FantasyMania XIII!
All hell is going to break loose this Sunday.
Jim Ross
Who will advance to the Semi-Finals?
With Rock Michaels and SC Lesnar waiting in the wings,
Stone Cold, John Seana, Single H and Chris Vinson...
it is going to be one hell of a show!
Call your cable providers and order WCCF FantasyMania XIII!
Thank you and goodnight!
