Earth-206
Lloyd Hansen
I can do this all day, old man.
But the question is, how much longer can you go?
Lloyd Hansen
I need the answers.
Who should I start and who should I sit? Hm?
Do I go with DJ Moore or Cam Akers?
I need to know.
Lloyd Hansen
This is pointless.
In the end, I will get what I want.
So how much more pints of blood, do you need to lose?
Ask yourself, is this all really worth it?
???
The resemblance.... is uncanny.
Lloyd Hansen
God damnit, Frank.
You know I don't like to be disturbed when I'm working...
Lloyd Hansen
You're not Frank...
Who are you? And how did you get past Frank?
???
Everything except for the bright blue eyes.
???
But we can fix that with some contacts.
And we can shave that god awful mustache of yours.
Lloyd Hansen
*Scoffs*
I won't ask again, who are you?
Kang the Conqueror steps out of the shadows.
Kang the Conqueror
A friend.
Kang the Conqueror
Lloyd Hansen, I have a job for you.
Lloyd Hansen
What kind of job?
Kang the Conqueror
The kind that involves murder.
Lloyd Hansen
Mmm... now we're talking.
WEST COAST COUSINS
FOREVER
Episode Two - Captain Covfefe Day
Skip Bayless
Welcome back to Undisputed.
We are joined by former Seattle Seahawks and San Francisco 49ers All-Pro,
Richard Sherman.
And Richard, we return for a 15th season in the West Coast Cousins.
After a one year hiatus from storylines,
we are back and we have a lot of Week 1 action to cover.
Richard Sherman
We certainly do, Skip.
A lot of Week 1 upsets, a lot of surprises
and boy, what a defensive battle it has been in Week 1.
Lots of Team Defenses putting up big points, it was shocking.
And they have the audacity to talk about removing Team Defenses in Fantasy.
It's crazy.
A lot of low scores across the board for these Fantasy Managers in Week 1,
with only two going above the century mark.
National TEs Day and Alex's Awesome Team.
Skip Bayless
Let's get right into it, Richard.
Last season's League Champion, UC Davis Aggies,
fall to another former League Champion, Rock Reigns.
91.18 - 79.74
Are you surprised that the Aggies lost in Week 1?
Richard Sherman
No, I'm not surprised at all, Skip.
You look up and down the roster and there is a lot of turnover on this team.
Patrick Mahomes has returned, but the supporting cast has completely changed.
Mahomes had an MVP season last year and took this team to the Championship game,
but we're going to have to see the rest of this team step up as we go further into the season.
I'm going to need to see more from this receiving group.
Skip Bayless
Is it time to panic for the defending champs?
Richard Sherman
Not at all.
Kendrick Stark is still feeling out his team.
I'm expecting Mahomes' to get better as the season goes along
when he gets Kelce back and we've seen Kendrick Stark work his magic
with midseason transactions in the past.
I'm sure he will make some adjustments and shore up some of these holes.
Skip Bayless
And on the other side of the coin,
what do you think of Rock Reigns' team?
Richard Sherman
This team will go as far as Christian McCaffrey takes them.
22.90 points from CMC and if he can stay healthy,
I'm expecting a big season from CMC.
And that Eagles defense, 13 points is solid, Skip.
But I think the big news coming out of the Rock Reigns' camp,
Russell Wilson out and Deshaun Watson in.
$52 FAAB spent to bring in Deshaun Watson.
And boy, I'll tell you.
I came into the studio this morning ready to rip into Russell Wilson.
He's a cupcake and I think his days as an Elite Fantasy option are over.
Rock Reigns seems to agree, making the big change after only 1 week.
I'm curious to see how Rock will do moving forward with Deshaun Watson.
Skip Bayless
Alright. And the matchup of the week.
Undertaker vs. vincent1469.
Vincent has drafted Jonathan Taylor two years in a row now.
Instilling his trust in Taylor after his breakout season in 2021.
But without Taylor in Week 1,
vincent1469 finds a way to beat Undertaker, 92.50 - 90.64.
Richard Sherman
A big win for the 2nd year Fantasy Manager.
He has some big names on this team, Justin Jefferson, Derrick Henry
and when Jonathan Taylor comes back, if he comes back,
this team might make some noise.
Because I think one of the biggest surprises in Week 1,
the strong play by Jordan Love.
245 yards, 3 touchdowns.
Vincent may very well have found himself a gem at the QB position.
Richard Sherman
But I'm not sold on Vincent just yet.
He started off hot last season as well, but fizzled out by the midpoint.
This team's success is going to depend on Jonathan Taylor's availability and production.
Because outside of Derrick Henry and Taylor,
that running back room leaves a lot to be desired.
We'll see if the addition of Gus Edwards pans out.
Skip Bayless
Richard Sherman, we can't end this segment
without talking about the performance of the week.
National TEs Day 162.92 points in a Week 1 rout of last season's points leader, Chuckanuts.
162.92 - 63.80, beating Chuckanuts by nearly 100 points.
That was a butt whooping, Rich.
Richard Sherman
I mean, National TEs Day came to play in Week 1.
He may have scored more points in this one game than he did all of last season.
Because quite frankly, he was terrible last year.
A dismal season, finishing in last place at 3-11.
But it looks like he's ready to put last season behind him.
Skip Bayless
37 points from my Dallas Cowboys.
That defense was unbelievable, Sherm.
Couple that with the performance of Brandon Aiyuk and Aaron Jones,
and you have a scary looking team in Week 1.
National TEs Day opens Week 1 in first place,
but is this truly the best Fantasy Team in the league?
Richard Sherman
I wouldn't go that far, Skip.
It's only Week 1.
And with the injuries to J.K. Dobbins and Aaron Jones,
I would temper those Week 1 overreactions.
Richard Sherman
He's certainly going to do better than last season,
but I need to see more consistency.
A few injuries can derail this team, and I'm curious
how National TEs Day will manage his team throughout the season.
Richard Sherman
We've seen this Fantasy Manager have great regular seasons in the past,
but with zero Championships, I need to see National TEs Day play well
in December and January, not Week 1, Skip.
Skip Bayless
It's a long season, Richard.
I'm sure we're in for a lot of twists and turns as we continue along.
How these Fantasy Managers manage their team will tell the story
for the 15th season of the West Coast Cousins.
Skip Bayless
We're going to take a quick commercial break,
but when we come back, we have a very special guest.
Lil Wayne will be live in studio to make his picks for Week 2.
And not only that, he will give you his expert take on who you should start
and who you should sit in Week 2.
Don't go anywhere, folks.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Narrator
After a Week 1 loss,
last season's defending Champion is found analyzing his team.
Among reviewing projections for next week,
he also finds time to research the anomaly that he experienced last week.
Kendrick Stark
Jarvis, run a search on "The Batman."
J.A.R.V.I.S.
Running scan now.
Kendrick Stark
I had a vision at the hospital.
A portal appeared in the wall, and my doctor walked out of it.
He was dressed like some kind of... wizard,
warning me about a multiversal war.
Told me to find "The Batman."
J.A.R.V.I.S.
It sounds like you were hallucinating, sir.
Kendrick Stark
No, it felt too real to be a hallucination.
J.A.R.V.I.S.
Search results have found no such data on "The Batman."
Kendrick Stark
How about "The Riddler"?
J.A.R.V.I.S.
Running scan now....
No data found on "The Riddler"... wait just one second.
I've found a criminal record, pulling it up now, sir.
J.A.R.V.I.S.
"The Riddler" real name Edward Nygma.
A serial killer located in Gotham City.
He is currently serving a life sentence at Arkham Asylum.
Kendrick Stark
Run a search on "Gotham City."
J.A.R.V.I.S.
No data found.
Kendrick Stark
The Riddler released a video online a week ago.
How can he be serving a life sentence if he's in San Francisco killing people?
J.A.R.V.I.S.
Perhaps a copycat?
Kendrick Stark
Or something worse...
Show me what we have on Boudin's kidnapping scene.
I need to take a closer look.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Sean Hannity
Welcome back to ATN News.
We come to you for live coverage of Captain Covfefe Day.
Live from Dallas, Texas.
The American patriot, Tai Rogers, being honored by President Biden.
Alongside Tai Rogers, several other U.S. War Veterans will be honored.
Among those is notable Korean War veteran, Colonel Brandon Mayhew Sr.
Funkasaurus
Let's go Brandon!
Sean Hannity
Absolutely. Let's go Brandon!
We now go live to Dallas for the ceremonies.
President Biden
My fellow Americans, it is with great honor, on this special day.
Captain Covfefe Day.
A day forever immortalized by the great American Patriot, Tai Rogers.
Despite the Week 1 loss, Tai Rogers is an American hero.
And as Americans, we want to take this time to honor our veterans.
So with that said,
I would like to call Colonel Brandon Mayhew Sr. to the stage.
Crowd
Let's go Brandon! Let's go Brandon!
President Biden
Let's go Brandon, I agree.
Captain Covfefe Day is not just a national holiday.
Captain Covfefe Day..
*Gunshot*
The crowd disperses in a panic.
President Joe Biden has been shot!
Sean Hannity
Hold on just a minute, folks.
I am just getting news that the President... my God.
President Biden has been shot...
And we are waiting for confirmation, but it appears..
It appears that the shooter is Captain Covfefe!
Captain Covfefe has shot the President of the United States.
No word on the condition of Joe Biden,
but it appears as if Captain Covfefe is now on the run.
This is live coverage...
We cut to Captain Covfefe who is watching the live broadcast
in the backstage waiting room.
Captain Covfefe
What's going on?
Why are they saying that I'm the shooter?
Kenneth Walker III
Someone is setting you up.. they did the same thing to me.
Captain Covfefe
What do we do?
Kenneth Walker III
Tai, you gotta run... I can try to hold them off as long as I can.
Captain Covfefe
Don't do this, Kenneth.
They'll arrest you if you try and help me.
Dallas Police Defense
There he is!
The Dallas Team defense walks in, surrounding Tai Rogers.
Kenneth Walker III
Tai! You gotta go!
This defense scored 37 points last week.
Captain Covfefe breaks free and takes off.
Dallas Police Defense
Captain Rogers, we have the area surrounded.
You have no place to go.
Surrender now and no one else has to get hurt.
Captain Covfefe
Okay, I surrender...
Captain Covfefe
But I didn't do it.
I didn't shoot the President.
Dallas Police Defense
Captain Covfefe, I am placing you under arrest.
Dallas Police Defense
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one,
one will be provided for you.
Do you understand these rights as I have just stated to you?
Dallas Police Defense
Do you understand??
Captain Covfefe
I understand...
