The TVA
We return to Kendrick Stark-4479's journey across the TVA.
Miss Minutes
Welcome to the Time Variance Authority.
I'm Miss Minutes and it's my job to catch you up before you stand trial for your crimes.
Kendrick Stark-4479
Alright. I'm not listening to this magic school bus propaganda.
Where are the Stones?
Jimmy McGill-3756
I suggest you pay attention, my good sir.
Because that propaganda will explain a lot.
Trust me, I know.
I was in your shoes before the TVA pulled me from my timeline.
I was supposed to stop this gangbanger from offing these two skateboarding punks,
but instead, I decided to walk away. It's none of my business, I thought.
The next thing I know, these Time Cops come out of nowhere and they arrest me.
But I was lucky.
I was able to talk my way out of being pruned.
And if all goes well, I can do the same for you.
Kendrick Stark-4479
I'm sorry, who are you?
Jimmy McGill-3756
I'm your lawyer, James McGill.
And ever since I was brought here, I've been defending the criminals against time.
Kendrick Stark-4479
The criminals against time?
Jimmy McGill-3756
Like I said, watch the video.
It'll explain everything.
I do have to warn you, this isn't the American justice system.
I can't just manipulate my way to a light sentence.
Things work differently down here.
This is the TVA.
And I'll be honest, my track record isn't very good over here.
In fact, I haven't won a case yet.
But I'm feeling very confident that this is the one.
We're going to get you out of here in no time, Mr. Stark.
Kendrick Stark-4479
Wow, Hagen.
Great pep talk.
Miss Minutes
But then, the all knowing Timekeepers emerged,
bringing peace by reorganizing the Multiverse into a single timeline.
"The Sacred Timeline"
Now the Timekeepers protect and preserve the proper flow of time
for everyone and everything.
Miss Minutes
But sometimes, people like you veer off the path the Timekeepers created.
We call those people "Variants."
Miss Minutes
Maybe you started an uprising, or took a bad choice road.
Whatever it was, your path created a "Nexus Event"
which when left unchecked, could branch off into madness.
Miss Minutes
Leading to another Multiversal War.
Miss Minutes
But don't worry. To make sure that doesn't happen,
the Timekeepers created the TVA and all of its incredible workers.
Miss Minutes
The TVA has stepped in to fix your mistake
and set time back on its predetermined path.
Kendrick Stark-4479
This is ridiculous.
I don't have time for this.
Jimmy McGill-3756
I'm afraid, all we got is time over here.
Miss Minutes
Now that your actions have left you without a place on the timeline,you must stand trial for your offenses.
So sit tight, and we'll get you in front of a judge in no time.
Just make sure you have your ticket,
and you'll be seen by the next available attendant.
Miss Minutes
For All Time. Always.
WEST COAST COUSINS
FOREVER
Episode Eight - Long, Long Crime
Vinpool
Hello everyone!
Welcome back to our channel, Vinpool and Korg Reacts.
And today, we're watching West Coast Cousins Forever: Episode 8 - Long, Long Crime.
I'm really excited for this episode, Korg.
Based on the reviews,
critics are saying that this is the greatest WCC episode of all time.
Really interested to see what this is all about.
If you're a fan of our content, please don't forget to like and subcribe.
And if you want to get some early access, head over to our Patreon.
Link in the description below, go ahead and pay me money,
because quite frankly, somebody needs to cover my Fantasy Football buy-in.
Let's go ahead and jump into this reaction.
West Coast Cousins Forever: Episode 8 - Long, Long Crime.
Earth-62615
Vinpool
Alright, cool. Earth-62615, another universe.
Arkham Asylum, are we gonna see Batman?
The Joker
So, they finally got it right.
For all the horrible things that I've done over the years,
they've finally given me the chair.
Just a few more hours... isn't it?
Have you come to say goodbye?
Batman
You deserve this, Joker.
It's a long time coming.
We always knew it would end this way.
The Joker
Is that so?
Then, why didn't you ever do it yourself?
You knew who I was.
There is no such thing as rehabilitation, not for a guy like me.
You knew that if you put me away, eventually, I would just escape
and do it all over again.
The Joker
The blood is on your hands, Bats.
So tell me, why didn't you ever just finish me off?
Batman
Believe me, there were many times that I wanted to.
But that would be too easy.
The Joker
Don't give me that...
Your moral code, I don't buy it.
There has to be... something. Something more.
I can see it with the look in your eyes...
The Joker
You look.... sad.
You never wanted this day to come.
You never wanted this to end.
All these years... playing cat and mouse.
And now, it's all over.
You can't accept that, can you?
You can't let me go.
You're addicted, just as much as I am.
Without me, there is no Batman.
Batman
Shut up!
You don't know what you're talking about.
The Joker
Sure, I do.
We complete each other.
And you can't stand that you need me.
We were destined to do this forever... weren't we?
An end of an era.
Batman
I said shut up!
I don't need you.
The Joker
Then why are you here?
Why do you keep letting me get away?
Why couldn't you finish the job?
Batman
Because...
Batman
You're right, Arthur. I can't let you go.
The Joker
Arthur? You know my name?
Batman
I've always known.
The Joker
Mmm....
That's not very nice.
You've always known who I am, but I never knew who you were.
The man behind the mask....
Batman
The mask isn't for me.
Batman
It's to protect the people I care about.
And right now, the only one I care about.... is you.
Batman
I'm going to break you out of here, Arthur.
The Joker
My knight and shining armor....
What are we waiting for?
Let's get out of this shithole.
1 Year Later
Anderson Cooper
Anderson Cooper, CNN.
Tonight marks the one year anniversary of The Joker's escape from Arkham Asylum.
The Clown Prince of Gotham was assisted by his former nemesis,
the vigilante known as The Batman.
Anderson Cooper
Commissioner Gordon condemned the actions of The Batman,
and a nationwide manhunt spread across the country.
Since then, The Batman and Joker have managed to evade the police,
and have since vanished from the public eye.
Anderson Cooper
Commissioner Gordon warns that he believes they are still out there,
and considered very dangerous.
We cut to the countryside.
Bruce Wayne
What are you doing out here?
Arthur Fleck
I felt like some fresh air.
Bruce Wayne
You know that's against the rules.
If anyone were to see you out here...
Arthur Fleck
You and all your fucking rules....
Relax, Bruce. I don't have my makeup on.
No one will recognize us.
Bruce Wayne
You know I can't run that risk.
I can't lose you again.
Arthur Fleck
Goddamnit, Bruce!
Arthur Fleck
I am sick of this shit.
This is not what I signed up for.
Running from the law, hiding like a coward.
I can't do it anymore. I won't.
Bruce Wayne
What are you saying?
Arthur Fleck
I need... to get out of here.
I'm social, Bruce.
I can't be all dark and brooding, like you.
I need friends.
Bruce Wayne
We don't have friends, Arthur.
We can't afford it, it's too dangerous.
We will never have friends.
Arthur Fleck
I'm sick of your fucking rules, Bruce.
I don't color within the lines and I can't do this.
You aren't the man I fell in love with.
You should've left me to die that night.
Everything would've been just fine.
Bruce Wayne
I wouldn't have been fine.
I was never afraid before you showed up.
I thought I could let you go.
But that night, when I looked into your eyes...
I knew. I knew that if I let you die, I would never be whole again.
Ever since I met you, my life has never been the same.
And I can't go back.... there's no going back to the way things were.
I need you.
Arthur Fleck
That's your problem, Bruce...
Oh, my sweet Brucey boy.
The man I fell for, he didn't wear Armani suits.
He didn't work on a ranch... and he damn sure wasn't afraid of anything.
Arthur Fleck
The man I fell for wore black.
He was vengeance. He was the night.
He was... Batman.
But you... are not Batman.
And I am.... not The Joker.... not any longer.
I haven't been that man since you broke me free.
Arthur Fleck
I won't lie to you, Bruce.
As short as it was, this past year has been wonderful.
A blessing.
But it can't last. It was never going to work.
Everything we once stood for, everything we fought for...
it died the minute you saved me.
Bruce Wayne
Don't do this, Arthur.
Arthur Fleck
Do you love me, Bruce?
Bruce Wayne
Of course, I do.
Arthur Fleck
Then love me the way I want you to love me.
Bruce Wayne
What do you want from me?
Arthur Fleck
I want you to hurt me.
I want you to hunt me.
I want to watch the world burn.
And I want you to jump head first into the flame,
desperately trying to save it.
Arthur Fleck
I miss us.
I miss The Batman.
Bruce Wayne
What if he doesn't exist anymore?
Arthur Fleck
He must... he must.
Arthur Fleck
Goodbye, Bruce.
Bruce Wayne
Where will you go?
The Joker
I'll go where ever chaos takes me.
And I hope one day.... when you're ready, you'll join me.
2 Years Later
Anderson Cooper
Anderson Cooper with CNN.
We come to you live with late breaking news.
A hostage situation is currently underway in downtown Gotham.
There are confirmed sightings of The Joker.
The Joker posted a video online earlier today announcing his return,
calling his latest act his Magnum Opus, dubbing this hostile act "Project Mayhem."
Anderson Cooper
Information is still coming through,
but The Joker is said to have explosives holding at least 6 hostages
throughout Gotham's Financial District.
The Joker is threatening financial collapse and economic equilibrium,
stating that it's not about the money, it's about sending a message.
Commissioner Gordon
Alright, secure the perimeter and prepare for a breach.
We don't want The Joker tipped off that we're coming in.
Find as many hostages as you can and clear the building!
The Joker
HaHahahaAhAH... only a matter of time now.
Batman
Gordon. Tell your men to stand down.
GCPD
There he is!
What do you want us to do, Commissioner?
Commissioner Gordon
Stand down.
GCPD
What? But he's a wanted criminal!
Commissioner Gordon
He's also our best chance of stopping The Joker.
I said stand down!
Commissioner Gordon
It's good to have you back, Batman.
Anderson Cooper
Wait a minute now, we are now just getting unconfirmed reports
that The Batman has returned.
Sources on the scene stating that the Batman is alongside the GCPD.
The Batman jumps into the building.
The Joker
Now there's.... a Batman.
Batman
That's enough, Joker!
Let these people go.
Joker
It's never enough.
Batman
What do you want?
The Joker
You know what I want.
The Batman beats Joker to a bloody pulp.
The Joker
AHAHAHAhahahaHAhahaa!
Batman
After all these years... this is all you wanted?
My attention?
What a sick joke.
The Joker
HehAhAHAHAha....
You... were the only one.
The only one who truly saw me for who I am.
Commissioner Gordon
Freeze, Batman!
The both of you! Get your damn hands up!
Batman
Gordon. Listen to me-
Commissioner Gordon
That's enough, Batman.
You've caused enough damage to the city.
Batman
I won't fight you, Gordon.
I'm turning myself in.
The Joker
I told you, we'd share a padded cell together.
Batman
Was this really all you ever wanted?
The Joker
Don't act like you didn't want this as well.
You enjoy throwing me around just as much as I enjoy torturing your soul.
This... was perfect.
It was beautiful.
I just needed one more thrill... one last ride.
The Joker
Bruce... I'm satisfied.
Entering the Earth-62615 timeline,
we find Kang the Conqueror alongside MODOK.
M.O.D.O.K.
Earth-62615, sir.
We're here.
Kang the Conqueror
Well... well... well...
If it isn't the gayest timeline of all?
Batman
Who are you?
Batman
What do you want?
Kang the Conqueror
I am nothing... but a mere traveler.
Kang the Conqueror
I've come from a great distance to be here today.
And as far as what I want... that is quite simple.
Kang the Conqueror
I want this timeline to perish.
Pruned from existence.
The Joker
Come on, Bats.
I don't know what this purple and green asshole is on about,
but we can take him.
The new dynamic duo.
You've come to the wrong place, spaceboy.
Kang the Conqueror
The LGBTs sure have taken over this timeline,
haven't they?
Batman
Arthur. Stand down.
We don't know what he's capable of...
Kang the Conqueror
You should listen to your friend, clown.
The Joker
And what fun would that be...
Batman
Arthur!
The Joker
He wants to destroy us, Bats.
He wants to prune us.
But little does he know, he can never prune our love.
The Joker
Because Love Wins. Always.
Kang the Conqueror
That is very sweet...
It is also, extremely gay. But sweet nonetheless..
M.O.D.O.K., set the charge.
We'll see how much of their love survives this.
M.O.D.O.K.
On it, sir!
The Joker
I'll always be with you, Bruce.
Wherever you are, I will be there too.
Batman
I know, Arthur. I know.
You and I are destined to do this forever...
*Vinpool crying*
Vinpool
That... was so beautiful.
I need a tissue, Korg.
This episode may very well have been the most well written storyline of all time.
It was so well done and such an integral part of the main story.
Vinpool
I am so awake right now.
Korg
I think the correct term is 'woke.'
Vinpool
Nope. I am awake.
It was a wonderful story, Korg.
And I won't take anything less.
It was beautiful and super necessary and will go down as the most important
moment in West Coast Cousins history....
but thank God they removed the dislike button from YouTube.
From outside of the Universe,
we find The Watcher watching Vinpool's YouTube channel.
The Watcher
You can't hide the dislike bar from me.
I see all.
The Watcher
Alright... what the fuck am I watching?
What else is on TV?
Vinpool
That was such a great episode.
Thank you so much for watching us watch tv.
Tune in next time when I react to myself reacting to this episode.
Oh wait. Hold on, I almost forgot to check my Fantasy Team...
Vinpool
Let's see here...
Oh.... FUCK! I lost!
Goddamnit, Korg.
