Wednesday, November 20, 2019

The Waiver Wire Episode 9 - Downfall


The sound of a train horn plays in the background as we open Week 12.


After a routine robbery, Victor Oumar walks down an alley,
whistling to the tune of "The Farmer and the Dell"


A gun cocks back.

Brother Nicholas
That's far enough.


Brother Nicholas
Drop your FAAB and turn around slowly.


Victor Oumar
So you gonna rob me now?
Do I need to remind you who I am?

Brother Nicholas
Oumar, isn't it?


Victor Oumar turns around.

Brother Nicholas
Pull it slowly, then toss it.


Victor Oumar
Oh, I will move slow. I ain't tossing nothing, Bowtie.
So whatever you gonna do, you might as well go ahead and make it quick.
....
I knew you'd come back.


Brother Nicholas
I trust you didn't lose sleep over it.

Victor Oumar
Worrying about you, be like wondering if the sun come up.
Ain't about to wild out over it.

Brother Nicholas
I see you favor a .45


Victor Oumar
Tonight, I do.
And I keeps one in the chamber, in case you're pondering.
...
Nice show piece you got there.


Brother Nicholas
Gilbert A., PPK.
380 double action with a deadly midrange.



Victor Oumar
Heard those Gilbert's like to jump some.

Brother Nicholas
As will you, with one in your elbow.



Victor Oumar
That gun ain't got enough firepower to make my joint useless.
It definitely won't stop me from emptying out half my mag.

Brother Nicholas
You might not hit me.

Victor Oumar
This range? In this caliber?
Even if I miss, I can't miss.


Brother Nicholas
I admire a man with confidence.

Victor Oumar
I don't see no sweat in your brow neither, bruh.

Brother Nicholas
I suppose we could stand here all night.


Victor Oumar
Suppose we could.
Or settle this once and forever.


Brother Nicholas releases his gun, followed shortly by Oumar.


Brother Nicholas
I want to ask you something, "brother."


Victor Oumar
Oumar listening.


"I've still got things to do.' - Rocksonberg


Justinmonger
So what you saying?
The more names I give up, the more years I shave off my sentence?


Chris Carson
Well, you're looking at multiple counts of murder.
So unless you're giving up some big ass names, you won't see anything less than life.


Justinmonger
How's this for a big name, how about that Greek mother fucker?
Rocksonberg?

Chris Carson
You have information on Rocksonberg?
You're gonna have to do better than naming names.
We need credible information.

Justinmonger
Hell yeah, I can do that.
You're looking for the missing former DEA Agent right?
Kirk Cousins?
He's buried out in central valley.
Rocksonberg did him in cold blood.


Chris Carson
Rocksonberg killed Kirk Cousins?
And you can point us to the body?
How do you know this?

Justinmonger
Cause I was there.
Rocksonberg needed protection for a job, so he hired the mercenary.
The job was a setup, Carson Wentz snitched us out.
Next thing you know, Kirk Cousins shows up with his former partner.
So Rocksonberg did what he had to, to survive.


Det. Tai
What about the Barksdale organization?
Last season you were dealing for that crew and ready to flip on all of them.
You still ready to do that?

Justinmonger
Doing that got me killed.
But I see you still going after Kenneth Bell.
I can bring down the whole organization.
And I have new information.


Justinmonger
Kenneth Bell, he's leading the Co-Op with Prop Vinson.
They formed a pact, if you will.
A whole criminal conspiracy with every major distributor in the city.
Kenneth Bell, Jesse Barksdale, Prop Vinson, Rocksonberg.
But I want you to get me out of these chains.
I want it in writing. You do that, I'll testify in open court.


Det. Tai
If your testimony puts all these assholes behind bars,
I'll walk you out of the jail myself.

Justinmonger
Fuck it then.
Since I'm feeling all charitable and shit.
Might as well give you Kevlo Stanfield as well.


At the Kevlo's corner, his entire crew is placed under arrest.


While no formal evidence has been brought up against Kevlo,
his crew is being investigated and his team will be questioned by Det. Howard.


Det. Minh arrives on the scene and takes a careful look at Kevlo Stanfield.


Kevlo remains silent, simply stares back.


Det. Minh
So you're the man, huh?
If what I'm hearing about you is true,
don't think you'll be sniffing the playoffs this season.
Losing your shot at this illustriousness crown.
Good work, Howard.
Let's bring him in.


Kevlo shows no fear and awaits his interrogation on Sunday with Det. Howard.


*Commercial*


*Commercial*


As we return, Det. Joyce is driving here car to an undisclosed location.


Det. Joyce
10-13, I'm on the scene right now.
You sure this is the correction location?

HQ
10-4 Sargent.
Suspect in custody confirmed the location.


Det. Joyce
6353 Juan Tabo, Apartment 6.



Rocksonberg
Saul, what do you mean they searched my house?

Saul Goodman
I don't know how else to say it!
Someone ratted you out!
I don't know how, maybe it was Wentz.
Who knows?


Saul Goodman
But now they've got a search warrant on your residence.
This is the end times, Rocksonberg.
You should've stayed in hiding.
Now that you've come back, the disappearer isn't going to just take you back.
You're on your own, Rocksonberg.
That's it. Game over!
Unless you get out dodge now, this is your downfall.
It's been a pleasure, but it's time to go!


Rocksonberg
No. I'm not running. Not this time.
I've still got things to do.
But first, I need a playoff spot.

Saul Goodman
What?! Are you hearing yourself?
How will the playoffs do you any good?
You'll just be running right into the police.

Rocksonberg
Yes, I would be going directly against the police.
And all of the West Coast Cousin's distributors.
But that's exactly what I need to do.
I need to win the WCC League Championship.
Because the Championship title will help me escape.
The Fantasy Stone, will help me beat them all.


President Trump
So what can we do about this?
Someone created that fake audio and made me look like a fool!
We have to get ahead of this.

Ryan Paul
There's no getting ahead of this, Mr. President.
It was telecast on live news.
Social media is blowing up, asking for your resignation.


President Trump
But it was fake.
Absolutely fake.
I did not say those things.
I don't know how someone replicated my voice.
Maybe with computers? How could this happen?


President Trump
It's a hoax!
And the American people are smart.
They know it was fake.
They know I would never say those horrible things.


Rudy Giuliani
Let's look at the positive here.
In the long run, we can prove that the tape was doctored.
And legally, the audio tape can't be used in the court of law.
It's hearsay at best.
It's not proof that you are in collusion with Russia.
They can't impeach you just off this audio tape alone.


Ryan Paul
But it doesn't matter whether its true or not.
Public opinion has already been made.
They are slandering you all over the news.
Approval ratings have dipped to all time lows.
And it's not just the democrats, Donald.
The republicans have turned on you too.
Even your loyal supporters are calling for you to resign.


President Trump
So what can we do about it?


Ryan Paul
I'm not sure there is anything we can do.
It might be over, Mr. President.
You are simply, not electable.
Even if they are unable to impeach, we have virtually no chance of winning in 2020.
If you've lost your supporters, that's it.
Checkmate.


President Trump
It's not over...
There's still one thing I can do to solve all of these issues.

Ryan Paul
Yeah? Well, I'd love to hear it.

President Trump
Take me to Fox River Penitentiary.


Monday, November 18, 2019

Week 11 Recap: #7tormsComing vs. Sarcastaball



Joe Mixon
We found his body under the Roody Poo bridge.

Mr. Nobody
We better hope to God this works.


Joe Mixon brings in The Baugh's body.


Mr. Nobody activates the Time Stone and uses it to reverse time, 
reviving The Baugh.


The Baugh wakes up.


Mr. Nobody
Welcome back to the land of the living.


The Baugh
How did you know that was going to work?

Mr. Nobody
I didn't.
I took a calculated risk, but a necessary one.
We brought Justinmonger back, and now you.
I would say that we've successfully harnessed the power of the Time Stone.


Mr. Nobody
And now that we have one of the six Fantasy Stones, we need another.
It's time you go back to your original assignment.
Retain your WCC League Championship title.

The Baugh
Just tell me where.

Singles Match
2019 Warriors vs. Kevin's Grand Team


Back in the streets, Kenny Golladay and Terry McLaurin of Kevlo Stanfield's team,
go to the corner store for some chips and soda.

Suddenly, the sound of gunfire is heard in the distance.


Golladay and McLaurin run off.



Golladay discovers Darrell Henderson, who has been shot dead.
The Barksdale organization has apparently taken offense to Kevlo's
attempt to take Julio Jone's corner.


Kenny Golladay
Whoa. They got Henderson.

Winner via Pinfall:
2019 Warriors


Robbie Anderson arrives and quickly tells them to get in the car.


Robbie Anderson
The fuck y'all doing in the street?

Kenny Golladay
We thought the war was over.

Robbie Anderson
Over my ass!
Barksdale just signed his death warrant.
War ain't over, it's just getting started.

AFW Championship Match
Chris Vinson vs. Vic Moxley (C)


Jim Ross
What a slug fest we have for you tonight folks.
Two of AFW's most elite Fantasy Managers going toe to toe.
Chris Vinson taking on the champion, Vic Moxley.


Jim Ross
A storied rivalry between these two.
Now and they compete for the now defunct, WCC Championship.
Vic Moxley won the title and took it away from the West Coast Cousins.
Rebranding it as the AFW Championship title.


Vic Moxley with early offense, utilizing DeVante Parker for 13.50 points.


Chris Vinson fighting back now, 14.80 from Michael Gallup.


Code Breaker by Chris Vinson!

1-2-3!

Winner via Pinfall and NEW WCC Champion:
Chris Vinson


Chris Vinson celebrates in the middle of the ring/


Chris Vinson continues back up the ramp hoisting the WCC Championship in his hand.


*The Baugh's Music Hits*


Jim Ross
What's this?!
Don't tell me! Don't tell me!

Tony Schiavone
That's The Baugh, JR!

Jim Ross
Yeah, but what in the hell is The Baugh doing here at AFW?


Jim Ross
Look out, The Baugh hammering away on the new Champion.


Jim Ross
Baugh Bottom! Baugh Bottom!


The Baugh celebrates as the AFW crowd goes nuts.


The Baugh grabs the WCC Championship and poses on the top rope.

Jim Ross
What a statement by The Baugh and the WCC.
Has The Baugh taken by the WCC Championship?
What happens next as we near the FantasyMania Playoffs?
Find out in the final 2 weeks of the regular season!