Wednesday, October 3, 2018

The Waiver Wire Episode 4 - "Family is Everything"


We open Week 5 with a shot of City College of San Francisco.


Detective Tai McLuu's independent investigation has led him to the community college.


To the surprise of McLuu, Kenenth "Stringer" Bell is taking microeconomics inside Batmale Hall.


McLuu can hardly believe it, his anonymous sources were correct.


Bell has been applying the fundamentals microeconomics to Fantasy Football.


"Be a little slow, be a little late." - Jesse Barksdale


Detective Joyce
Tai, where the fuck you been?

Detective Tai
Working on the Barksdale case.
Where the fuck have you been?


Detective Joyce
Uh, I've been doing my job.
Chasing down The Greek, as I was instructed.
Lt. Kevin isn't going to take kindly of your insubordination.


Detective Tai
Fuck Lt. Kevin.
And fuck The Baugh.
And if you want to join them on a goose chase, be my guest.
But you're showing your true colors
if you're just going to tuck your tail and hide.
You have the chance to actually do something that matters.
To do the right thing and some actual fucking police work.
But no, you're willing to sell out like the rest of them.



Detective Joyce
Fuck you McLuu.
 You're the one with your priorities mixed.
You didn't even give Baugh a chance to win you over.
I agree, Barksdale and Bell are a problem,
but they aren't the biggest problem.
Especially not this season.
If you gave Baugh a chance, you'd know what he'd have to say.
President Trump is a bigger threat than we know.
And if don't take him now, he'll become unstoppable.
We can catch Barksdale and Bell later.

Detective Tai
There is no later.
Do you know what I found out this morning?
Kenneth Bell is taking economics classes.
He's using the principles of business and applying it to the drug trade.
Sooner or later, he's going to win this 3rd Championship title.
And once he does, we won't ever catch that son of a bitch.


Detective Joyce
You haven't heard what I have to say about the President.

Detective Tai
Well show me this Sunday.
If you can beat me in Fantasy Football,
maybe I'll hear what you have to say about Trump.
If you're not gonna help me get Kenneth Bell,
then fuck off.

*Commercial*


*Commercial*



Narrator
Later that evening, Kenneth Bell makes a trip up north to for a meeting with Prop Vinny, unbeknownst to Jesse Barksdale.

Prop Vinny
So you've come to your senses.
I know how things are going down south.
Shit is weak down there, and fiends...
they're flocking to Chinatown to get this Blue.


Kenneth Bell
Yeah, well. It's the way things are for now.



Prop Vinny
You talk to Jesse about this deal?



Kenneth Bell
Nah. Not yet.
Knowing Jesse, don't think he'd be willing to give up territory for your product.
But if I make it work on a few on my corners, maybe I can convince him to see otherwise.
Look Vin, that sample of Blue you gave me from The Greek...
 that shit sold faster than any heroin we've ever had.
This "Rocksonberg" is giving out free wins this season.
That free win he gave me last week, I need more of that.
And if you let me win this week, I'll get Jesse on board.
I'll talk some sense into him and we'll allow you to sell on a few corners on the south side.
Maybe even a tower or two.
No problems.



Prop Vinny
Free wins?
I don't know String, I need to make the playoffs this season too.



Kenneth Bell
You in 11th place, you're not making the playoffs anyway.
Let me get this win, or I'm not throwing you the football.



*Commercial*


Paid for by Trump 2020.

*Commercial*


Narrator
Across the city, Jesse Barksdale and his cousin,
D'justin Barksdale make a trip to Laguna Honda Hospital,
visiting a former colleague, Jimmy Garoppolo.
The quarterback is currently comatose from a torn ACL.

Jesse Barksdale
To D'justin:
You don't make it out here much, huh?
This place scare you?

D'justin Barksdale
Nah... it's just... you know.



Jesse Barksdale
This place scare me.
Back in the day man, me and Jimmy, we used to run the streets.
He came up with me and we did all kinds of shit.
I consider him family, you know?
And family is everything.
Family is what counts.
Family is what it's about.
Family is always gonna be there, cause it's blood.

D'justin Barksdale
Yeah, no doubt.



Jesse Barksdale
You see, D.
You been through a lot these past few weeks.
Murder trial, Oumar taking your shit.
I ain't mad at you for that, yeah, you probably could've handled it a little better.
But that's water under the bridge.
Right now, I want you to step it up.
Don't matter if you lost a package.
Or you lose your starting quarterback.
Fact of the matter is, you need to hold it down.
The Pit is yours, and I want you to grow that shit.



D'justin Barksdale
Yeah, I got it cuz.
As soon as that new package come in, we're gonna get shit right.

Jesse Barksdale
Ain't no new package coming in, man.
New package same as the old package.
Just a different name is all.
Might put a new color on the capsule and spike that shit, but it's all the same.

D'justin Barksdale
What?
People already coming back on us telling us that shit is weak.



Jesse Barksdale
I know.
 Shit is weak.
But shit is weak all over.
But the thing is, no matter what we call heroin, that shit is gonna get sold.
If the shit is weak, we gonna sell twice as much
cause a fiend is gonna chase that high no matter what.
This game right here, is forever.

D'justin Barksdale
Yeah, well word going around that there's a new drug on the market.
Prop Vinny selling blue crystal meth that's top of the line.
Customers already moving up north to get their hands on that shit.
People saying it's the most pure meth that they've ever had.



Jesse Barksdale
Yeah, well fuck Prop Vinny.
What we doing down here, is what we doing.
We still got all the real estate in the south.
We got more muscle than Prop Vinny and we got more corners.
I ain't worried about Prop Vinny.
But I am worried about you.
I want you to turn this around.
Yeah, you sitting at 3-1, but your points total is low.
That ain't gonna cut it come playoff time.
I want to challenge you to become a better Fantasy Manager.
When I was your age, I already won Yahoo public leagues.
You need to step up and become the Fantasy Manager that I know you're capable of being.
Cause you family, D.
And this right here?
This business, it's yours for taking.
If you want it.



D'justin Barksdale
No doubt.
I got you cousin.

Jesse Barksdale
I want you to beat your projections this week.
Matter of fact, I'm coming down this Sunday to personally oversee how you run the courtyard.
And if I don't like what I see...
We may have to talk about what else you can do for the family.



D'justin Barksdale is silent to Jesse's warning.

Jesse Barksdale
To Garoppolo:
You ain't never figured on this, did you?



Jesse Barksdale
Coming here, keeps me humble.
Keeps me grounded.
"Live the life, leave the life,
ain't no big thing."
He  used to talk that shit all the time,
and he believed it.
Talk that shit now, Jimmy.



Jesse Barksdale
See... if he dead, I could carry it better.
Growing up doing what we did, you kind of expect it.
See, the thing is, you only got to fuck up once.
Make a bad cut or take on a big hit...
Or stay in bounds trying to get the extra yards when you really should get out of bounds...
And that's all it takes.
Be a little slow, be a little late...
Just once.
And how you ain't never gonna be slow?
Never be late?
You can't plan for no shit like this, man.
It's life.
Scares me, man.
It scares me.



Monday, October 1, 2018

Week 4 Recap: #7tormsComing vs. Covfefe



Narrator
In the court yard, D'justin Barksdale and crew look to keep the momentum going in Week 4.
After back to back wins, D'justin has found early season success and hopes to build on last season's playoff appearance.


Narrator
Local crack head, Kareem Hunt, conducts a money scam hoping to catch one of D'justin Barksdale's corner boys off guard.


D'justin watches on as Erik Stevens collects money and 
calls Devonta Freeman over to supply the drugs.



D'justin collects the count and double checks the money.


D'justin Barksdale
Yo, yo, yo.
Erik, what the fuck is this?

Julio Jones
Damn.


Erik Stevens
Huh? That's money.


D'justin Barksdale
Money?
This look like money, mother fucker?
Money be green!
Money feel like money.
This look like money to you?


D'justin Barksdale
This happen again, you off the money.
You hear me?
You'll be on the corner calling for 5-0.
Man, get the fuck out of here.


Erik Stevens returns to his corner playing with some toys.


D'justin Barksdale
What's wrong with that boy?


Devonta Freeman
Man, Erik just young and all.
He don't know no better.
Daddy died when he was just a kid.
Don't think he ever got over it.

D'justin Barksdale
How he die?
His father, I mean.


Devonta Freeman
We don't know.
One night we was just chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool, 
shooting bball outside of the school.
When we see a space ship up to no good, making trouble in our neighborhood.



Devonta Freeman
Next thing we know, Erik find his pops with panther claws in his chest.



D'justin Barksdale changes his body language.
Showing sympathy for Erik.


Julio Jones takes notice of D'justin's change in tone.

D'justin is able to pick up the Week 4 win despite a few errors by Erik Stevens, Kenyan Drake and Mike Williams.

Singles Match
#7torms Coming vs. Covfefe



The Baugh
In this unit, we do things my way!
Not your way. Your way got you here!
My name is The Baugh and The Baugh says this...
Since the SCGD failed to apprehend Avon "Jesse" Barksdale,
My unit is now taking over the case.
And we're having a target change.


The SCGD unit sits in on the meeting,
however, Tai McLuu appears unimpressed with The Baugh.

The Baugh
And who is the new target, you ask?
The new target is Donald J. Trump.
And I know what you're thinking...
How are we going to take down the President of the United States?
With sheer will and determination.
That's how.
In order to get to Trump, we have to bring down known associates that could potentially lead to incriminating evidence against the President.
And I have someone in mind.
A man only known as "The Greek"


McLuu's disdain for The Baugh is apparent.

The Baugh
So are you with me?!
Do you accept The Mustang Challenge?
Say it with me!
M-U-S-T-A-N-G!


Detective Tai
With all due respect Agent Baugh, this is all bullshit.
I agree, Trump is an asshole.
But we don't affect change by taking him down.
At least not right now.
We have a real problem in our city, and that's Kenneth "Stringer" Bell.
That's the Barksdale organization.
And before you and your team came into the picture,
we were well on our way in affecting change, locally, in our immediate Fantasy League.
The San Francisco cousins were struggling to start the season, and I was in first place.
We had it handled, we don't need your help.


The Baugh
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA!
The Baugh says this...
Who in the blue hell, are you?
No, no, no, no!
Don't answer that.
Because The Baugh knows exactly who you are.
Yeah, the Baugh knows.
3x League Champion.
The only 3peat in League history!
The man behind the SCGD unit.
Well The Baugh says this, know your role and shut your mouth.



The Baugh
The Baugh is here to change the direction of your unit, because you couldn't get it done.
We all know your agenda here, McLuu.
You don't give a damn about the people.
You aren't here to affect change.
You are out for yourself.
You recognize Kenneth Bell is on the cusps of becoming the Greatest Fantasy Manager in this league.
You recognize that one more League Championship, and he ties your all time record.
And with more consistent playoff appearance and recent success,
some would argue that he's better than you.
So let's cut through all the bullshit, jabroni.
We aren't going to do it your way.
We're going to do it my way.
That's what being a Mustang, is all about.


Detective Tai
Being a Mustang?
Give me a fucking break.
500 degrees and y'all running wind sprints?
You're going to ruin this entire show, Baugh.
Going after a mystery Greek man is a mistake.
The real players are poisoning our streets, right here, right now.
We are so close to taking down Barksdale and Bell.
And now they're gonna get away.


The Baugh
Too bad, McLuu.
We're shifting focus.
And if you don't like it, I swear to God, I honestly mean this.
Like the slogan says, you can get the F out!

Detective Tai
Fine. I will.
I'll bring down Bell and Barksdale myself.

Winner via Pinfall: Covfefe

Detective Tai shows up The Baugh in front of the SCGD unit,
securing the Week 4 win.
The Baugh drops to 1-3.