Wednesday, December 18, 2019

The Waiver Wire - FantasyMania Championship


Narrator
Across the Narrow Seas, we open Week 16 at The Night's Watch,
where off screen, Vin Snow and his recruitment of armies has 
successfully defeated the Night King and his army of the dead.


Nick Luunister
Well, that was easy.

Vin Snow
Yeah, I guess it was.

Nick Luunister
You would think that after 8 years of buildup and hype..
we would face a more daunting task with this so-called army of the dead.
I certainly didn't think we'd handle the conflict off screen.
I'm disappointed. That was rather uneventful.

Vin Snow
Let's not celebrate yet.
If the prophecy is true, then the great war still lies ahead.


Paul Heyman
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Hey-


Vin Snow
Yes, Paul. You've been introducing yourself ever since you got here.
How may I help you?


Paul Heyman
Lord Snow, if I may be so blunt.
I brought my Beast to West Coasteros because I was promised a challenge.
I brought SC Lesnar across the Narrow Seas 
because I was told that this would be the war to end all wars.
You told me that you needed SC Lesnar and that this war could not be won without her.
Well, I'm sorry to say it, Lord Snow.
But it appears that we've been sold a bill of goods.


Paul Heyman
Simply put, we did not come all this way to leave without a fight.
I was told that West Coasteros was a land full of fearsome fighters and warriors.
So Lord Commander, I demand that you bring the feast to The Beast.
Before we go, you will take us to The Mountain.
And if The Mountain isn't nearly as over hyped as this "Long Night"
then maybe, this trip would have been worthwhile.


Vin Snow
As you wish.
I'll take you to The Mountain.
But I think this is a mistake.
We should save our energy for the next big threat.


"We ain't gotta dream no more."
- Kenneth Bell


Jesse Barksdale
Damn, man.
I miss this crib already.

Kenneth Bell
Yeah, well you're spending a lot of time at that other spot,
doing what you gotta do.


Jesse Barksdale
Yeah.
Well, that shit is about to be over now that Kevlo's team is locked up.
Half his crew got hit on that shipment?
Someone wants Kevlo gone as much as I do.
Now that he's vulnerable, time to take him out.


Kenneth Bell
That's good.
It's a shame we gotta deal with this Kevlo bullshit.
If I had taken care of it sooner...

Jesse Barksdale
There's always gonna be a Kevlo, man.
No Kevlo, no game.
... But you could've dealt with this shit a little sooner.
But I mean, don't let it lay on you like that.
Tonight, I'm just gonna kick back and enjoy this view.


Jesse Barksdale
I mean, look at this shit.
Can you believe it?


Jesse Barksdale
I got a crib that's overlooking the harbor.
This the same place, we used to run through this mother fucker
with every security guard in there following us.


Kenneth Bell
Laughing:
As they should.


Jesse Barksdale
True. True.
And then there was that one time...

Kenneth Bell
Costco?

Jesse Barksdale
Hell yeah.
I told you not to steal that Diablo set.
What you gonna do with a fucking play disc?


Kenneth Bell
And we ain't got no computer!

Kenneth Bell and Jesse Barksdale share a laugh.


Kenneth Bell
That shit was crazy.
And it was right here too. God damn... 
could you imagine, man?
If I had the money that I have now.
I could've bought half this waterfront property.
God damnit.


Jesse Barksdale
Nah... forget about that for a little while.
Just dream with me.


Kenneth Bell
We ain't gotta dream no more, man.
We got real shit.
Real estate that we could touch.


Kenneth Bell
I can't get too fucked up tonight.
I got some shit I gotta do.


Kenneth Bell
Plus I got that meeting on Sunday with that property manager we hired.
If he had anything to do with that Jesse Jackson shit.
I'm gonna need to cut his money.

Jesse Barksdale
What time y'all meeting?


Kenneth Bell
Hesitation:
Uh, what time?
Uh... 12, I think. 
Why? You need me to do something for you?


Jesse Barksdale
Nah, just seeing where you gonna be at.
...
You need to relax more, man.


Kenneth Bell
Well, when the time's right. I will.
You know, I don't take my work, too seriously.


Jesse Barksdale
That's right.
It's just business.



Jesse Barksdale
Too Sweet, mother fucker!

Kenneth Bell
For life!


Kenneth Bell leaves.

*Commercial*


*Commercial*


Lt. Kevin
Look, I know we're out of playoff contention.
But this is not over.
We're still in the consolation bracket and we will catch Rocksonberg.
We are not letting him get away with this.


Detective Tai walks in.

Detective Tai
Excuse me Lieutenant, I just got a call from Frank Tenpenny.
 We got a hit on Jesse Barskdale.
The information checks out.
And you're never gonna guess who the source is.


Detective Minh
Hold up, hold up!
We're up on Kenneth Bell.
He's picking up the phone.



Kenneth Bell
We low right?


Tyler Lockett
Yeah, we a little light.


Kenneth Bell
Alright, I'll hit you after.


Tyler Lockett
Oh, yeah. And another thing.
Those hitters you asked for?
They good with it.

Kenneth Bell
Not on the phone.


Detective Tai
That's it...


Detective Minh
Yeah, that's it!


Detective Minh
Haha. We got him!
Checkmate.


The SCGD Unit celebrates as they've successfully 
found incriminating evidence against Kenneth Bell.

SUNDAY


We fast forward to Sunday, where Kenneth Bell
 is scheduled to meet with the property manager
in charge of developing condos in partnership with Jesse Jackson.

WCC Championship Match
[1] Probably Will Win (11-2)
vs.
[3] Rock's Team (8-5)


Kenneth Bell
You're not the property manager.


Rocksonberg
No, I'm not.
I'm afraid he's not coming.


Kenneth Bell
Who are you?


Rocksonberg
I think the better question is.
Who are you? Mr. Bell?
Or should I refer to you by your alias?
"Brixton."

Kenneth Bell
The Greek.

Rocksonberg
I prefer Rocksonberg.
After all, I'm not even Greek.
But I suppose that's what makes us similar, you and I.
You're a cautious man, hiding in plain sight.



Rocksonberg
It's impressive, a double agent pretending to be a drug dealer.
And even your drug dealing persona has a front.
A store manager for a paper company.
A front for a front.
I commend you for making it this far.


Kenneth Bell
Yeah? Well, if you know so much about me...
then you know what I'm capable of.
You know you won't walk out of here alive.

Rocksonberg
Maybe.
Sure, physically, you outmatch me every single time.
But I don't think you and I will face off in hand to hand combat.
It's too easy for you. Your ego won't let you do it.
You won't pass at the opportunity to test your intelligence against someone like me.
You need the answer to one simple question.


Kenneth Bell
Yeah? And what's that?

Rocksonberg
Who is the greatest Fantasy Manager of all time?
Do you have what it takes to avenge your 2013 FantayMania loss?
Can you do what no Fantasy Manager has done before you?
Beat The Greek at FantasyMania.


Rocksonberg
Your run over the last several years, albeit, impressive,
is no more impressive than my 8-0 run in the playoffs.
In every big moment in this league, I've managed to win at the highest level.
Not since Single H in 2011,
has a Fantasy Manager come close to winning 3 League Championships.
And tonight, one of us, will join that illustrious club.
With the winner, crowned as the greatest of all time.

Kenneth Bell
So what are you proposing?
How do we settle this matter?


Rocksonberg
Like the old west. Two kings left in the game.
With most of the major pieces gone.
Mano-a-mano.
Just a couple of pawns and a bishop in a race to the end.
Two Fantasy Managers.
Two guns, one bullet each.
You ready?


Kenneth Bell
Yeah.

Narrator
In a rematch for the ages, two Fantasy Managers will enter.
But only one will walk away.
With the stakes at an all time high,
 the stage is set for a FantasyMania main event of epic proportions.
Pride, reputation and the grand prize total of $144,
all pale in comparison to what's truly on the line.
The Greatest of All-Time.


Narrator
For Kenneth Bell, 
considered by many as the most consistent Fantasy Manager in league history,
having placed in the Top 3 in 8 out of 11 seasons here at the West Coast Cousins.
The FantasyMania main event stage is a familiar one.
But perhaps the biggest blemish on his storied career, 
is a 2013 main event loss to one, Rocksonberg.


Narrator
On Sunday, the former world Champion will look to even the score
against a Fantasy Manager that appears unbeatable at this level.
At 8-0, Rocksonberg seems to find the playoff magic
to persevere when it matters most.
With runs similar to the San Francisco Giants,
Rocksonberg is far from the betting favorite.
But to count him out would be a grave mistake. 


Narrator
In four nights, Rocksonberg will look the keep the streak alive.
A testament to the Misfit Manager, Mr. FantasyMania.
8 Fantasy Managers have tried and 8 Fantasy Managers have failed.
But on Sunday, one of those fallen Fantasy Managers rises to the challenge once again.
Who will be crowned the 2019 League Champion?
Kenneth Bell or Rocksonberg?



The opposing Fantasy Managers face one another as their conflict comes to a head.


Rocksonberg
Draw.