At the West Coast Cousins Tower, Christopher Parker arrives
for a meeting with Kendrick Stark.
Christopher Parker
Oh.. hey! Happy.
Happy Hogan
What are you doing here, kid?
Christopher Parker
Umm... it's my birthday.
I was supposed to have dinner with Mr. Stark.
Happy Hogan
Oh... yeah, right.
Sorry, kid. I was supposed to give you a call.
Kendrick can't make it tonight.
He's really busy with this Riddler thing.
Told me to reschedule for next week.
Christopher Parker
Next week?
I have an exam next week.
Happy Hogan
I don't know what you want me to tell you, kid.
Christopher Parker
I thought he said to let the SFPD handle the Riddler.
Happy Hogan
I don't know, he doesn't tell me everything.
But it must be really important
for him to blow off dinner plans with a 17 year old.
Christopher Parker
I'm 21..
Happy Hogan
Oh, he did want me to give you this though.
Happy birthday, kid.
Christopher Parker
"For the next QB1, I choose you."
Christopher Parker
It's his QB sunglasses... whoa!
Cool.... I am HIM!
WEST COAST COUSINS
FOREVER
Episode Three - The Next QB1
We cut to the F Mansion where
Charles Xavier houses the school for the gifted.
Anderson Cooper
We are now getting word that President Biden remains in critical, but stable condition.
After surviving last week's assassination attempt,
White House officials are stating that President Biden is expected to make a full recovery.
Meanwhile, Captain Covfefe also known as Tai Rogers,
has been arrested and arraigned for the attempted murder of President Joe Biden.
As we get more information, CNN will provide updates on this late breaking news.
Kevan
Captain Covfefe. Who would've thought?
Professor X
I fear we're in for many more surprises, Kevan.
Thank you for taking the time to come see me.
Kevan
Jean Addison said you found something.
Something about my past.
Professor X
I did. But I wasn't able to extract much.
I sifted through your memories.
There was a whole lot of pain.
The details are fuzzy,
but I may be able to point you in the right direction.
Kevan
Did you find out who did this to me?
A name, a location, anything?
Professor X
Treasure Island.
Professor X
It's a former naval station located at the midpoint of the Bay Bridge,
between San Francisco and Oakland.
Underneath the infrastructure is a hidden base.
I believe that is where they conducted their experiments on you.
That's where you'll find some answers.
Kevan
That's all I need.
Thanks, Professor.
Professor X
Kevan.
You might not like what you find on Treasure Island.
Kevan
Doesn't matter.
I'll find answers.
Professor X
Bring some of the F-Men with you.
We work as a team over here.
We can help you.
Kevan
No, thanks. I'll go it alone.
Trevor 'Cyclops' Lawrence
You sure about that, pal?
You look like you could use the help.
Kevan
Who's this asshole?
Professor X
Cyclops. Real name, Trevor Lawrence.
He was the #1 pick in the 2021 NFL Draft and widely regarded
as one of the greatest College Football prospects of all time.
He's laser sharp with a cannon for an arm.
I'm expecting big things from Trevor this season...
and I got him on our team for just $5.
Kevan
Is that supposed to be some kind of bargain?
I need perennial all pros.
Not some young buck with a bright future.
This is a win now league, not a Dynasty League.
Professor X
Let me ask you something, Kevan.
Have you ever won a WCC League Championship before?
Kevan
No.
Professor X
And do you think that's because you have a tendency to do things yourself?
If you want to go fast, go alone;
if you want to go far, go together.
Kevan
I don't think you'll be going very far in that chair, Professor.
Trevor 'Cyclops' Lawrence
Hey.. don't be an asshole.
Professor X
It's fine, Trevor.
We can help you win a League Championship, Kevan.
Professor X
It doesn't hurt to have friends.
Kevan
I don't have friends.
Christina 'Storm' Watson
Well you do now.
Kevan
Fine.
But when I find out who did this to me, he's mine.
Professor X
Of course. I hope you find what you're looking for,
but let's try to make violence a last resort.
Kevan
No promises, Professor.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Maverick Carter
Puka Nacau.
He came out of no where.
10 receptions in Week 1 against the Seahawks and then 15 against the 49ers in Week 2.
He's a baller.
LeBron James
You know what's funny?
I was one of the first to say Nacau was one of the biggest sleepers in Fantasy.
I was one of the first to say Nacau was one of the biggest sleepers in Fantasy.
I was just telling my boy the other day before the season started,
he's gonna go for 20 receptions or something crazy like that.
Maverick Carter
He's nice.
LeBron James
Yeah man, for real.
I've been a fan of his since his days at BYU.
The Scarlet Joyce got a nice add on her team.
Cooper Kupp and Nacau? That's a nasty tandem right there.
Paul Rivera
Who do you guys like in the West Coast Cousins, so far?
LeBron James
For me, I like Alex's Team.
A lot of people forget, he was really close to winning it all last season.
Top 2 in scoring last season and he's doing it again this year.
He's got a really solid receiving group and that running back room is nice too.
I'm expecting Alex to make a deep playoff run this year.
Maverick Carter
Me personally, I like the Bengal Bros.
137.18 points in Week 2 with the performance of the week.
Currently in 3rd place and you may want to start calling his team the Commander Bros.,
because he got some nice production out of McLaurin and B. Rob on Sunday.
And I feel like Vinson is getting better each season in the WCC.
If Joe Burrow can turn things around, and get Chase involved,
you're looking at a scary team.
He's 2-0 without those two producing a lot of points,
but I don't expect that to be the case all season.
Paul Rivera
We can't forget about National TEs Day.
He's in first place and looks solid through 2 weeks.
I just wanna see more from Josh Jacobs and Kittle.
You can't have the team named after you and not produce, it just doesn't work that way.
Maverick Carter
That was a hell of a matchup on Sunday between Dollar Discount and Tightends Day.
Olave. He just barely stepped out of bounds on what would've been a touchdown.
That would've been the difference in the game,
Dollar Discount just inches away from being 1-1.
LeBron James
It's a game of inches.
Tiny plays like that, in all of sports really,
can change the entire outcome of a game.
What about you, Lisa?
Who do you like to win it all this season?
Lisa Leslie
You know, this is going to surprise a lot of people.
But I still think the Scarlet Joyce, Luke's Lunch Money,
can win the Championship.
I know she's 0-2, but you touched on it earlier.
Puka Nacau is the real deal and I expect her to make similar moves
and get back into the playoff race.
I really like what she has going on.
Draymond Green
I have something on this though...
Draymond Green
We all know the Scarlet Joyce is a good fantasy manager.
She's won a bunch of championships and that's cool.
But this whole "no more men" thing, like, I can't rock with that.
I just can't.
Like, what do you mean, no more men?
Draymond Green
What does that mean exactly?
Like you want to get rid of all men?
Because first of all, I'm a man.
And I don't want to be gone, you know what I'm saying?
So it's like, if you say no more men, that's really gonna piss me off.
Lisa Leslie
Well, we don't know that she means get rid of all men.
She may just mean friendly competition and representing for the women.
Draymond Green
No, because when you say no more men, you're talking about my son.
My son is a male.
And I don't want him gone.
Hell, women don't even want the men gone.
So I'm not feeling what the Scarlet Joyce has to say.
So for you to pick her as a league winner, I just can't accept that.
She's 0-2 and she's coming off a bad year last season.
She may have scored a lot of points last year,
but she didn't win many games.
Draymond Green
So let's stop with this need to elevate the Scarlet Joyce.
She had a hell of a run in 2021.
She's a good manager, maybe even great.
But she's not the GOAT. Stop it.
Lisa Leslie
That's fair, Draymond.
I was just giving my opinion.
Draymond Green
Well your opinion fucking sucks.
No disrespect, but it's fucking ass.
I don't know about y'all, but I like being alive.
So that's what I don't understand.
If you're saying no more men, you're saying no more me.
And I like me.
I'm always going to defend myself at all costs.
That's just how I feel about it, you know what I'm saying?
LeBron James
Who do you like Draymond?
Draymond Green
I mean, if we're being honest.
I don't think we're giving vincent1469 enough credit.
He's going to have to prove himself this year, but he's 2-0.
He's active on the waiver wire.
And we're still waiting on Jonathan Taylor to come back.
I don't know if he's going to win it all,
but he will do better than last year. That's for sure.
LeBron James
There's still a long way to go and anything can happen...
but boy, it's looking rough for the Aggies.
Last season's Champion just lost his lead back,
and we're praying for Nick Chubb.
Injuries are just the worst part of football, man.
It really sucks.
We'll have to see how the Aggies bounce back.
Chuckanuts and Dollar Discount too.
All 3 finished in the top 3 last season, but off to rough starts to begin the year.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Narrator
In Asgard, 2x WCC League Champion,
Thor Rocksinson returns home to prepare for the upcoming season.
Thor Rocksinson
Father, I have returned.
And I am happy to report that I've completed my Fantasy Draft.
I like my team and I think you would be proud.
I've got Christian McCaffrey, paid a pretty penny for him...
but I've also got Devonta Smith and Deshaun Watson.
We're 1-1 right now, but I think we can turn things around.
Odin
Have you brought back another League Championship, my son?
Thor Rocksinson
No, father. But I'm confident that-
Odin
And what's this I hear about you dropping RB1s during Championship Week?
Are you gifting your players to another team?
Thor Rocksinson
Umm... father, that was a long time ago.
And it was an accident.
Odin
An accident, you say?
An underdog, running back depleted Fantasy Team sneaks into the Championship Game.
With all the news outlets reporting that Raheem Mostert will not play due to injury,
and you drop Jeff Wilson Jr.
Thor Rocksinson
This was years ago... nobody even cares anymore!
Nobody except for that sore loser.
Odin
News from Earth travels slowly to Asgard, my son.
Thor Rocksinson
Get over it already. It wasn't my fault.
I didn't do it on purpose.
I never meant for anyone to get hurt...
Odin
But somebody was hurt.
You ruined the one chance for a Fantasy Manager
who was having his best season, and had never won before,
the only opportunity they were ever going to get...
These actions are unfit for someone who is meant to one day rule in my place.
At the very least, a perpetual reminder of your failure is warranted.
But I don't believe that is enough...
Harrison Butker
Father, I was there when Thor dropped Wilson Jr., and I can assure you...
Odin
SILENCE!
Thor Rocksinson
This is ridiculous.
I made a simple mistake!
I should not be punished for all of eternity for it.
Why should I be humiliated for my actions?
Odin
BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOD!
Humans make mistakes. But you do not.
You are better than this.
Thor Rocksinson
If you think I am going to sit back idly and be subjected to this abuse,
you are gravely mistaken.
Yes, I dropped Jeff Wilson Jr.
I was doing what I thought was best for my team!
I do not regret my actions.
If he was as good of a Fantasy Manager as he claims to be,
he would've won despite my actions.
I do not take the blame.
And I'm done apologizing for it.
Odin
I see...
Odin
You are not remorseful.
You do not care. And you do not take responsibility.
Then I'm afraid, I am left with no choice.
Thor Rocksinson
Father...
Odin
YOU ARE UNWORTHY!
Odin
Thor Rocksinson.
You have betrayed the express command of your King.
For your arrogance and stupidity, you have cost a Fantasy Manager a Championship.
Odin
You have ruined an innocent life.
And have forever lost our trust.
You are not fit to be a King.
You are not fit to be a Champion.
Odin
I now take from you, your power.
In the name of my father, and his father before.
I, Odin All-Father, cast you out!
Odin sends Thor Rocksinson barreling
through the Bifrost and down to earth.
Odin
Whoever holds this hammer, if worthy,
shall possess the power of Thor.
