Week 13 Recap: Survivor Series

Singles Match

Undertaker vs. Luke's Lunch Money

Jordan Love scores 25.76 on Thursday as Sandy Orton quickly takes the lead.

A thunderous chair shot as Josh Jacobs returns to the lineup and puts up 9.10.

Ladd McConkey scores 9.90 for Kevin Owens.

But Sandy Orton responds back with 25.20 from A.J. Brown.

Kevin Owens still has some fight in him as Kyren Williams and Quinshon Judkins

each score 13.30 and 12.90.

Michael Cole

Wait a minute! That's Baker Mayfield from the Joycement Day!

Kevin Owens battling outside interference as reinforcements have arrived for Sandy Orton.

Rhea Joycely comes in out of nowhere and spears Kevin Owens through the barricade!

Rico Dowdle and Harold Fannin fly in with 8.30 and 7.90.

RKO! 1-2-3!

Winner via Pinfall:
Luke's Lunch Money

Michael Cole

Sandy Orton wins! 

122.36 - 73.46 as Orton alongside the Joycement Day have defeated Kevin Owens.

And with that win, Sandy Orton's playoff ambitions

are still alive heading into the final week of the regular season.

Pat McAfee

But a very different story for Kevin Owens.

This loss has essentially eliminated him from playoff contention.

Kevin Owens-

Pat McAfee

Wait a minute, what the hell is this, Cole?

Michael Cole

I'm not sure, but a masked man has just entered the ring.

What is going on?

The Masked Man stands above Kevin Owens and slits his throat,

killing the 7th year Fantasy Manager.

Michael Cole

Oh my God!

What in the hell is happening!

Somebody call a doctor! Kevin Owens has just been stabbed by the Masked Man!

Announcer

Kevin Owens has been eliminated.

*Crowd Cheers*

Michael Cole

Somebody call 911, Kang, do you know about this?

Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler

It's all part of the process, Cole.

A necessary action in the Kang Games.

Referees and medical staff carry the body of Kevin Owens to the back.

Michael Cole

Ladies and gentlemen, this was an unexpected moment during our broadcast.

I regret to inform our audience, it seems Kevin Owens has been stabbed.

We don't have any updates on his condition, but it is not looking good.

Pat McAfee

That looked real bad, guys.

Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler

He's a goner, boys.

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you.

Singles Match

John Seana vs. Jets2Holidays

Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler

The show must goes on.

We have a duty to entertain the WCK Universe.

Up next, John Seana takes on CM PUP. It's a must win game for CM PUP.

Michael Cole

I'm not gonna lie, I'm still in shock.

I don't know if I can call this match.

Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler

You will do as you're told, Michael Cole.

The two Fantasy Managers exchange holds as Ja'Marr Chase scores 11 for PUP,

Chase Brown scores 11.30 for Seana.

Seana takes the upper hand as Derrick Henry scores a touchdown, 16.40 for the RB.

But CM PUP fighting back, Chris Rodriguez goes for 10.10.

Counter by Seana! James Cook responds with 15.70.

Shoulder tackles now as Jakobi Meyers drops 15.30.

But CM PUP counters! 20.64 from Jacoby Brissett.

1-2... KICKOUT by Seana!

A last ditch effort for CM PUP as he is running out of time,

a must win game as he flies off the top rope!

Desperate now, CM PUP goes for the STFU as Kimani Vidal scores 19.70,

but ultimately it is not enough as Seana's Seattle Defense scores 30.

Super Seana powers out of the hold and hits the AA!
1-2-3!

Winner via Pinfall:
John Seana

Michael Cole

John Seana has done it, Seana wins 119.42 - 90.94 and has clinched the playoffs.

And with that loss, CM PUP's playoff dreams are all but over.

Mathematically, his chances of making the playoffs are near zero.

And I don't think John Seana is done.
He just grabbed a microphone, Pat.

Pat McAfee

He's about to rub some dirt in this wound, Cole.

John Seana

Heh. PUP, as you lay there in your most uncomfortable,

I hope you can listen, I hope you can digest,

because before I leave here in 4 weeks as the winner of the Kang Games,

there's a whole lot I want to get off my chest.

John Seana

I don't hate you, PUP.

I don't even dislike you.

I like you, I like you more than anyone you've ever played football with, that's for sure.

I hate this idea of you... this idea that you're the Best in the League.

Because you're not.

I'm the Greatest Westmoor Flag Football Player of All Time!

John Seana

You're better than me at one thing.

You're the best bullshitter in the world.

You've convinced these people that you're the greatest Fantasy Football player of all time.

But I know the truth.

The truth is, your body of work is more luck than skill.

And your luck's run out, pal.

All those years of bullshitting and politicking your way to the top, it's over.

We all know if not for Damar Hamlin's incident, Dollar Discount Team would be a 5x League Champion and the undisputed GOAT of the West Coast Cousins.

John Seana

Whoops! I'm breaking the fourth wall again.

And you want to know what else?

I'm just as good of a quarterback as you.

John Seana

The difference is, you train every week.

And I can go weeks without touching a football and still throw just as well as you can.

Mic still on? Should I keep going?

Seana turns to face another camera.

John Seana

Hey, Nick Wong. How ya doin'?

John Seana

The Best in the League... I know a couple of EVPs that disagree.

Council of Kangs

OHHHH....

John Seana

You want to blame everyone else for your lack of success this season.

You can say whatever you want, but ultimately, you have no one to blame but yourself!

You made your bed when you auto drafted. So go to sleep.

Enjoy your Jets2 Holiday because I'm sending your ass packing to Cancun!

CM PUP, you're nothing but an overprivileged, cry me a river, entitled little punk.

And you want to know the biggest joke of all?

 The biggest joke-

John Seana-5264 undergoes an outer body experience.

Earth-41989

Ouroboros

He's in! John Seana has successfully inherited his variant in Earth-KANG!

John Seana pauses as he looks around the ring in confusion.

Pat McAfee

What's he doing, Cole?

Michael Cole

I don't know... he just stopped in the middle of his promo.

Seana points at Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler.

John Seana

You. It's you!

Michael Cole

Is he pointing at you, Jerry?

John Seana

You're Kang the Conqueror!

Seana stops as he looks at an arena full of Kang variants.

John Seana

Holy shit... they're everywhere.

Council of Kangs

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Pat McAfee

What's he doing, guys?

Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler

I think something sinister has just happened...

I'm calling it in. Do it now! Eliminate PUP!

Michael Cole

Wait a minute! The Masked Man is back!

He's back with a knife in hand!

Kevin Owens' blood still fresh on that knife...

My God, what's he about to do?!

Pat McAfee

I think he's about to shank CM PUP!

Take cover! Get out of there, PUP!

Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler

Finish him! Kill CM PUP!

The Masked Man hits PUP with a Superkick followed by a Curb Stomp!

Pat McAfee

Wait a minute! That can't be Tai Rollins can it?!

The Masked Man pulls his knife and moves towards PUP,

but Seana cuts him off! Seana fights off the Masked Man!

Michael Cole

Seana with the save! Seana just saved CM PUP!

Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler

What has gotten into John Seana?

Michael Cole

Seana may have ended PUP's season, but he just saved his life!

This is chaos as we come to the end of our broadcast.

What is going on with the Masked Man and what does this all mean?!

Find out tomorrow night on Wednesday Night Preview!