Narrator
As we open our Week 5 Recap at FantasyPalooza in Indianapolis,
Jackie Redmond had an opportunity for an exclusive interview with CM PUP.
Jackie Redmond
Joining me at this time... The Best in the League, CM PUP.
CM PUP
Thank you for having me, Jackie.
Jackie Redmond
Well PUP, you are just a few nights removed from the vicious attack from CFL.
Heading into a crucial Week 5 Matchup, how are you holding up?
CM PUP
CM PUP
Honestly, Jackie. I've been better.
But I'm here and I'm ready to put on a show for these fans.
Jackie Redmond
Going into this match, it's clear that you're shorthanded and banged up,
on top of the fact that you're managing an autodrafted team,
considering all of those factors, what was the decision behind a Dog Collar Match?
CM PUP
CM PUP
I think we're all banged up at this point in the season.
There's been some big losses this season, but that's the world of Fantasy Sports.
We'll navigate these bye weeks and do our best to fill the void.
But as far as the Dog Collar Match, it's a violent match, no doubt about it.
I asked for that match so that I could hurt CFL.
Low and behold, last week on Preview, I was the one that was hurt.
But CFL, he made one mistake last week. He didn't kill me.
And tonight, he's going to pay the price. I'm going to be his father figure.
And CFL is due for a whooping.
Jackie Redmond
Thank you for your time, PUP.
Good luck in your match tonight.
CM PUP
Luck is for losers, Jackie.
Now if you don't mind, I have some business to attend to.
CM PUP leaves and heads to the Bloodline's Locker Room.
Council of Kangs
OHHHHHHH.....
Singles Match
Undertaker vs. Dollar Discount Team
Michael Cole
In our opening round matchup here at FantasyPalooza,
we have our struggling defending League Champion, Tai Rollins,
facing off against Kevin Owens.
Both managers have had a rough start and looking to turn things around.
Kyren Williams with 2 receiving touchdowns on Thursday Night to take the early lead.
Michael Cole
But a flying knee from Dollar Discount.
The manager electing to start both Seattle Seahawk running backs,
as they combine for 19.40
Newly acquired Jaxson Dart runs for 55 yards
and totals 17.58.
But Sam Darnold responds with 4 touchdowns, scoring 28.64.
Michael Cole
Tai Rollins is in serious trouble as Kevin Owens is starting to run away with it now.
A last ditch effort as Tyler Warren scores 10.40.
Emeka Egbuka comes out of nowhere for spears Tai Rollins,
scoring 24.30 in the process.
Kevin hits the Stunner and covers for the 1-2-3!
Winner via Pinfall: Undertaker
Michael Cole
Where the hell did Emeka Egbuka come from?
Egbuka has seemingly aligned himself with Kevin Owens and taken out Tai Rollins.
Michael Cole
And with that, Kevin has now put on strong performances in back to back games.
The young Fantasy Manager is beginning to pick up steam as we enter Week 6,
as his rookies are starting to produce at a high level.
Singles Match
John Seana vs. Rock Reigns
Michael Cole
John Seana takes on Rockson Reigns in our second matchup.
Both Fantasy Managers enter the week at 3-1, but Rockson Reigns is the heavy favorite
as he has scored more than 70 points over John Seana through 5 weeks.
Davante Adams goes for 8.80 points on Thursday Night.,
followed by a strong early window performance from Dak Prescott, 28.28.
Earth-41989
Ouroboros
Remember your training, John. Focus.
We want you to inherit the John Seana variant in Earth-5264, also known as Kang Universe.
John Seana
Right. What happens when I inherit his body?
Ouroboros
Ouroboros
We don't know for sure.
Your variant could be anywhere, doing anything.
You have to be prepared for everything.
John Seana
And how long will I be in his body and mind?
Ouroboros
If you can maintain control, as long as you want.
But if you lose control, you might bounce from world to world.
It can be dangerous and you could lose your mind.
John Seana
Wonderful.
Ouroboros
Are you ready?
John Seana
John Seana
No.
Garret Wilson scores a touchdown, going for 13.10.
But it's futile as Rockson Reigns is in control from start to finish.
Jonathan Taylor goes off for 28.60.
A dazed and disoriented John Seana struggles to get to his feet,
as Rockson Reigns lines up him with Ka'imi Fairbairn.
John Seana-415 initiates the Variant Inheritance technique.
Council of Kangs
OOOOOH.... AH!
John Seana-415 inherits John Seana-5264.
Michael Cole
Spear! A spear from Rockson Reigns!
1-2-3!
Winner via Pinfall:
Rock Reigns
Michael Cole
Complete domination from the Tribal Chief.
144-.78 - 63.40.
As an early season front runner for the winner of the Kang Games,
you have to put Rockson Reigns right up there,
now standing at 4-1 and the League Leader's in points through 5 weeks.
Earth-41989
Ouroboros
John, what happened?
John Seana
Aw... fuck!
John Seana
I don't know!
I think I inherited my variant... but then I got blind sided by a fucking spear!
I think I inherited my variant... but then I got blind sided by a fucking spear!
Ouroboros
Be careful, John.
Such trauma can result in your losing your mind and getting stuck in between worlds.
John Seana
Well, I didn't plan on getting speared.
I just turned around and the thing next I know,
the Tribal Chief is running full speed and dives into my chest!
Dog Collar Match
Jets2Holidays vs. Return of the Mac
Michael Cole
For the first time in WCC history, CM PUP takes on CFL in a Dollar Collar Match!
For those uninitiated, these two Fantasy Managers will be tied together with a Dog Collar.
First Fantasy Manager to score a pinfall or submission will be declared the winner.
CM PUP distracted by the referee as CFL yanks the dog collar,
Puka Nacua scores 14.50.
A violent lash as CFL whips the chain across PUP's back!
CMC scores 19.90.
But CM PUP gets in some offense of his own,
25.56 from Matthew Stafford.
Josh Allen throws 2 touchdowns.
CFL
Give up, you piece of shit!
CFL
Council of Kang, you're looking at the 2025 winner of the Kang Games!
C...F...
Michael Cole
Look out! CM PUP yanks the chain as CFL falls onto the mat.
Pat McAfee
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
What's CM PUP doing? He's wrapping the chain around his elbow!
He's not gonna go for an elbow drop is he?!
Ja'Marr Chase scores 2 receiving touchdowns for 23 points!
Pat McAfee
Look at the grit and determination from CM PUP!
Already down a kicker, but he is still in it!
Rhamondre Stevenson has 2 rushing touchdowns for 12.70.
CFL going for the kill shot with Dalton Kincaid, scoring 10.80,
but CM PUP reverses with a pair of touchdowns
from Jaylen Waddle and George Pickens!
The crowd gets on their feet as CM PUP signals for the J2H!
But CFL blasts CM PUP with a brass ring!
Javonte Williams puts the finishing touches with 25.90,
as CM PUP is forced to go to sleep!
Winner via Submission:
Return of the Mac
Michael Cole
A statement win for Chris F'in' Law!
The Fantasy Manager improves to 3-2 and it is still early,
but this has the makings of a career year for CFL.
Can he keep this momentum up as we enter the midway point of the season?
Singles Match
Loud Play Justin vs. vincent1469
Michael Cole
We now kick off our main event,
the Phenomenal Justin Styles vs. the American Nightmare, Vincent Rhodes!
A back and forth affair as De'Von Achane's 10.60 is matched by Saquon's 14.80.
Theo Johnson scores 2 touchdowns for 15.30,
as Vincent Rhodes hits Styles with the dropkick.
Rashid Shaheed scores 17.40 as Justin Styles drops Vincent Rhodes.
Mahomes goes for 27.72 but is matched by Trevor Lawrence's 27.24.
Cross Rhodes! Vincent Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes!
1-2-3!
Winner via Pinfall:
vincent1469
Michael Cole
By the skin of his teeth, Vincent Rhodes pulls out the victory,
narrowly defeating Loud Play Justin 115.82 - 1141.84.
And now the 4th year Fantasy Manager improves to 4-1.
That just leaves Rhodes and Rockson Reigns
sitting atop the Power Rankings as we enter Week 6.
Michael Cole
Wait a minute! That's Drew Minhtyre!
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
What's he doing here?
Pat McAfee
He's beating the hell out of Vincent Rhodes!
That's what he's doing!
Michael Cole
Somebody get some help!
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
I think things are about to go from bad to worse for Vincent Rhodes.
Council of Kangs
3-2-1!
Michael Cole
Claymore! Bouncing off the skull of Vincent Rhodes!
Michael Cole
What are you doing, Drew?
Pat McAfee
I think he's hearing voices, Cole.
Michael Cole
Oh my God! Drew Minhtyre just kicked
Vincent's head through our announcement table!
Michael Cole
What does this all mean?
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
Tune in tomorrow night for Episode 6 of the West Coast Kang.
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