Wednesday, December 13, 2017

WCC Preview Episode 9: FantasyMania Round 2


As the camera pans, we see a crime scene.


Chaos in the streets, police sirens blaring.



Coroners carrying a body away.



Narrator
When Titan's star defensive end Avon Barksdale isn't practicing for an upcoming game.
You can find Avon in the mean streets of San Francisco, conducting business.


Avon Barksdale
The fuck?
A call from an unknown number.


Avon Barksdale
Yo, who's this?

Lord Caldlow
Avon Barksdale.
My name is Lord Caldlow.
And I know about your business with Frank.
Meet me tonight by Westmoor High School.
If you don't show, I'll go to the cops.


*Commercial*


*Commercial*



The pyros explode as JR welcomes us to the second round of FantasyMania.


Jim Ross
Good evening folks, it is Week 15 and we are down to just four teams in the WCC.
3 former world Champions remain with 6 Championship titles between the 3 of them.
Coach Jesse and the Mean Machine look to win their first title, but they'll be without Carson Wentz the rest of the way.
Coach Rockson and the Flames aim to keep their FantasyMania streak alive and win his second League Championship.
Meanwhile, Covfefe and Coach Ken fight to be called the Greatest Fantasy Manager of All-Time.


[1] Permian Panthers (9-4)


[2] T.C. Titans (9-4)


[3] Mean Machine (8-5)


[4] Flames (7-6)


Molly Wood
Welcome to First Take.
Tonight, we recap Week 14 and make our predictions for Week 15 and beyond.
We are down to the Final Four.
3 San Francisco Fantasy Managers and 1 Seattle Fantasy Manager remain.
Stephen A. is this the best final four that we have ever seen in the WCC Playoffs?


Stephen A. Smith
You know, Molly. It is certainly debatable.
I've said it on this show before, but the Permian Panthers and the T.C. Titans have the strongest track record in league history and to have them in the Top 4 alone makes a case for best Final Four ever.
But then you add in a former world Champion in Coach Rockson, who is undefeated at FantasyMania?
And let's not forget Coach Jesse and the Mean Machine.
They've looked good all year, and they did perform the best out of any Fantasy Manager last week.
I wouldn't be mad at all if many considered this the greatest Top 4 finalists ever.
But, as good as the Mean Machine have looked, we had to address the elephant in the room.
They're going up against the TITANS of the league. No pun intended.
I think they would've had a chance with Carson Wentz, but now that their best player in missing.
I don't like their chances.
Coach Ken and the T.C. Titans return to the main event of FantasyMania for the fifth year in a row.
I'm sticking with my prediction all season long.
The Permian Panthers beat the Flames and we've got ourselves the MATCH OF THE CENTURY!
I think we all want to see it and we're all gonna get it.
The best versus the best.
One versus Two.
Let's get it on!


Max Kellerman
Stephen A. I like your enthusiasm, but I'm sorry.
We're not getting the match of the century.
The Mean Machine will find a way to defeat the T.C. Titans.
It's going to be a MASSIVE upset on Sunday.
Yes, they've lost Carson Wentz, but let's be frank here.
As good as Carson Wentz is, as great as he's been playing, he's undoubtedly the team MVP.
The Quarterback position isn't exactly the toughest position to fill when a QB goes down.
Outside of the Kicker position, I'd argue that it is the next EASIEST position to fill in Fantasy Football.
With the toughest position being runningback and I think the Mean Machine have a great group of guys with Kareem Hunt and Lamar Miller.

Stephen A. Smith
Max. Max. Max!
The T.C. Titans have Todd Gurley, Leonard Fournette and Kenyon Drake.
You're telling me that Kareem and Miller are better than those 3?!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Max Kellerman
The Titans have very good runningbacks, but I believe in the willpower of the Mean Machine.
Whoever they plug in at the Quarterback position is going to find a way to win on Sunday.
In addition, I like the Flames to keep their FantasyMania streak alive.
The Permian Panthers have been great, but they're due for a bad game.
The Flames have a very good team that has been overlooked all season.
And they're paying red hot right now.


Skip Bayless
Max Kellerman.
You are simply dumb as shit.
There is NO WAY the Permian Panthers lose to the Flames.
The world wants the Titans versus the Panthers.
They're gonna get it and when they do....
The Permian Panthers are gonna show the T.C. Titans what REAL Fantasy Football looks like.
The Flames simply cannot keep up with the Permian Panthers.
Old man Larry Fitzgerald is no longer a WR1.
Sanu is hit or miss.
Their runningbacks are mediocre at best.
The Permian Panthers have TWO of the league top WRs in Antonio Brown and Josh Gordon.
The best defense in the Jacksonville Jaguars.
The best kicker with Legatron.
And THE best tightend in the league.
There is simply no way the Flames have any sort of chance.
Permian Panthers EXTINGUISH the Flames.
T.C. Titans crush the Mean Machine. 


Max Kellerman
I guess we'll see on Sunday.

Skip Bayless
If you're wrong, we're firing you.


Narrator
Underneath the 280 highway, Coach Rockson and the Flames arrive to begin their preparation for Sunday's matchup against the Permian Panthers.


Kevin Kelly
I'm joined now by the Head Coach of the Flames.
Coach Rockson.
Coach, this Sunday you enter the Semi-Finals as underdogs against a strong Permian Panther team.
Do you think that being the underdog allows you to play loose and without expectations?
In 2013. you were considered an underdog in each one of your matchups and ended up winning it all.
How do you feel heading into Sunday?


Coach Rockson
How do I feel?
Shall you boil a kid in his mother's milk?

Kevin Kelly
What?

Coach Rockson
What?
I said, SHALL YOU BOIL A KID IN HIS MOTHER'S MILK?

Kevin Kelly
What?

Coach Rockson
Do you speak English?


Kevin Kelly
What?


Coach Rockson
ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?
I'm not making much sense, am I?
Well neither are the critics that say we have no chance against the Permian Panthers.
Kevin Kelly, you ugly mother fucker...
I don't understand why the undefeated Flames are 7 point underdogs to a Permian Panthers team that has won anything since 2011.
And since then, has choked in every FantasyMania moment he's been in.
Meanwhile, I have won every single FantasyMania match of my career.
It is about damn time I get some respect and we get rid of these MOTHER FUCKING PANTHERS IN THIS MOTHER FUCKING LEAGUE.


Coach Rockson
Now let's get to work.
Run Delilah.

 


Narrator
In the Flame's camp, the intensity of practice rises with each passing day.
With such a monumental task in front of them, Coach Rockson see's this as an opportunity to legitimize his place in the league.
Having shocked the entire West Coast Cousins with his 2013 win in his rookie season, Coach Rockson has failed to make it back to this stage.


Narrator
Whether you call it beginner's luck or simply a fluke Championship run.
One thing is for certain, another Championship title in his trophy case would legitimize Coach Rockson as one of the league's best.



Narrator
On Sunday, the Flames will have the opportunity to slay the beast known as the Permian Panthers and become one step closer to fulfilling legitimacy in the West Coast Cousins.


Narrator
If the Flame's practice is fueled by intensity, the Permian Panther's are stoic in comparison.


Narrator
Led by Coach Covfefe and his long resume of Championship titles, the Permian Panther's practice is more matter of fact and business as usual.


Covfefe
Look, we got a good team standing opposite us on Sunday and if we don't bring our A game, we won't finish the season as League Champions.
But I know if that we play our best game and they play their best game, our team wins every time.
We have more talent, we have better coaches, we have better fans.
Up and down the roster, from quarterback down to kicker, we outclass the Flames.


Covfefe
So our job is simple.
Take care of business and we're going to the main event.
Bring our best and leave it all on the field.
Do it for the fans.
Do it for Seattle.
But most importantly.
Do it for yourself and the guys on your team.


Narrator
With the return of Rob Gronkowski from suspension, spirits are high in Seattle.
Having avoided a disastrous scenario of playing in the first round without Gronkowski could've meant an early exit for the Permian Panthers.
Luckily for Covfefe, the first round bye proved more than necessary.


Narrator
Rounding out the receiving core for the Permian Panthers is star wideout, Antonio Brown.
Who's play as of late as elevated the Permian Panthers to the top spot.


Narrator
But perhaps the biggest wildcard for the Permian Panthers is returning Superstar, Josh Gordon.
Who's substance abuse has kept him out of the league since 2014.


Josh Gordon
Yeah, I smoke drugs.
It helps keep me calm and ready for war.
All the big stars do it.
My local dealer Bodie, he hooks me up every Sunday.
I'll probably be high this weekend as well.
I play better when I'm on drugs.


Narrator
If Josh Gordon is the wildcard, Dak Prescott is the question mark.
If there's one knock on the Permian Panthers, it's their shaky play at the quarterback position.
Having started multiple quarterbacks and rotating them in and out and cutting Carson Wentz earlier in the season, some believe the quarterback position is Covfefe's achilles heel.


Narrator
With the loss of Josh McCown, the Permian Panthers now turn the reigns over to Dak Prescott who has shown promise at times, but completely lost at others.
It's the reason Coach Joyce was willing to let the quarterback go in a trade to the Permian Panthers earlier in the year.


Narrator
With an all-star supporting cast, the Permian Panthers enter Sunday's game as the favorites.
But it'll be up to Dak Prescott to steady the ship and manage the game.
A poor showing could tilt the odds in Coach Rockson's favor.

*Commercial*


Tyrese
Man, fuck the Baugh!

*Commercial*


Coach Ken
Let's go! Let's go! Let's Go!
Wake up gentlemen, it's late.
It's 3 am in the morning!
Alright, listen up.
You will follow Coach Yoast, myself and any other coaches.
We're gonna take a little run through the woods.
If you get lost along the way,
don't bother showing up for FantasyMania,
your ass is cut from the team.
Let's go.



Coach Ken
Anybody know what this place is?
This is Gettysburg.
This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg.
50,000 men died right here on this field...
fighting the same fight we're still fighting amongst ourselves.


Coach Ken
Take a lesson from the dead.
Black versus white.
Seattle versus San Francisco.
Liberals versus conservatives.
Democrats versus republicans.
Donald Trump versus the XFL.
If we don't come together...
we too will be destroyed just like they were.
So we either learn to live together...
or we're gonna die alone.


Narrator
As the T.C. Titans return to San Francisco, spirits are high.
The division that once plagued this Fantasy Team subsides as unity rings throughout the locker room.



The players dance as the team runs on soul power.



Even Justin Tucker has come around and joined in on the festivities.


However, not everyone is pleased with the direction of the team.


Narrator
At Alcatraz State Penitentiary, the mood is somber throughout practice.
Despite a monumental victory in Week 14 and the tasks of defeating the T.C. Titans on Sunday, the Mean Machine morale is down with the loss of their leader, Carson Wentz.



Coach Jesse
Hey everybody.
Let's lighten up.
We've gotten this far, we can't give up now.


Lamar Miller
We don't even have a quarterback!
How are we supposed to beat the T.C. Titans?


Coach Jesse
By giving it our all.
By wanting it more.
Coach Ken and the T.C. Titans have had their time.
They've won their rings.
It's our time now.
It's time the Mean Machine call themselves WCC League Champions.
We've still got a lot of good players on this team.
I say, we go out there and do it for Carson.
Give it 110% effort and I think we'll be alright.


Sammy Watkins
Yeah, but who's gonna player quarterback?


Blake Bortles
What's wrong you wimps?
Haven't you guys seen a football injury before?


Golden Tate
He's our quarterback?
Fuck. We're gonna lose.


Narrator
More than most, Fantasy Managers are products of place.
Inevitably, no matter where they come from...
they end up on the football field.


Narrator
And how they play on that field determines where they go once they get there.


Narrator
For two teams, Sundays marks the end of the destination.


Narrator
For two others, Sunday is one step closer to immortality.


Narrator
Whether you aim to be the best.


Narrator
Or you're fighting for respect.


Narrator
One thing is for sure.
The team that leaves it all on the field is more likely to find success.


Narrator
In the world of Fantasy Sports.
Respect isn't given.
It's earned.


Narrator
In four nights, two teams will earn their spot to headline the Showcase of Immortals.
Two teams will be one step closer to becoming...
WCC League Champion.



































At Westmoor High School, Avon Barksdale awaits his confrontation with Lord Caldlow.


Avon Barksdale
You must be Lord Caldlow?



Tom Brady
Caldlow.
Yes I am. I always have been.


Avon Barksdale
I don't know what you've done.
But you're not afraid to get your hands dirty anymore, are you?

Tom Brady
No. Not anymore.
And I win.

Avon Barksdale
You win?
Tom, this isn't a bloody game anymore.
Why are you doing this?
Tom, I can tell that's you.


Tom Brady
The Luunisters send their regards.



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