Narrator
As we open Week 2, Harrison Butker finds himself in an unknown plane.
Having just returned to Earth-206, Butker is now out of place once again.
The Watcher
Welcome back, Butker.
Have you found a way to control it?
Harrison Butker
Control it? Control what?
Harrison Butker
Who are you? And where am I?
The Watcher
Interesting.
The Watcher
If you truly do not know where you are,
then I presume that this is the first time that you have encountered this realm.
However, I will caution that this is not the first time that I have encountered you.
Harrison Butker
What? That doesn't even make sense.
You haven't answered my question, who are you?
The Watcher
My name is Uatu, otherwise known as The Watcher.
And where you are is not a place.
It is not even a period of time.
The Watcher
It is a prism.
For years, you have mastered the ability to travel across realities.
I have watched you jump from universe to universe, Butker.
Using a technique you know only as "Verse Jumping."
The Watcher
But that is not the only way to travel across dimensions.
And it seems that now you have unlocked a new ability.
An ability we call "Time Slipping."
Harrison, you are no longer traveling from universe to universe.
Rather, you are traveling through time.
And now... the both of us, together, we stand outside of time.
Harrison Butker
I don't understand, how did this happen?
The Watcher
That, I do not have the answer to.
The Watcher
Perhaps your journey will lead you to a very important role.
A long time ago, you came to me and explained your journey.
In fact, you are the one who introduced the concept of Time Slipping to me.
Harrison Butker
Hold on just a minute.
How could I have introduced the concept to you?
I don't even know what it is.
The Watcher
No, you do not. But you will.
Harrison Butker
How do I get back to where I came from?
Kang the Conqueror is coming and the more time I spend here,
the less time I have to prepare for him.
The Watcher
That assumption is incorrect.
The more time you spend here, the more time you have to prepare.
Remember, we are currently outside of time.
You may be the multiverse's only hope to stop him.
Your powers are in their infancy. Allow me to show you what this realm truly is.
The Watcher
Outside of Time, it is my duty to compile knowledge of the multiverse.
My people, we are The Watchers.
We observe and we document the events of the multiverse.
The Watcher
As you are already aware, there are infinite permutations and realities across the multiverse.
And through observations, our goal is to protect the multiverse.
But understand, as a Watcher, I have a strict oath of non-interference.
While I can observe and report my findings, I cannot interfere in mortal affairs.
Harrison Butker
Cannot interfere?
What is the point of observing the multiverse if you cannot intervene?
Kang intends to destroy the entire multiverse and you're telling me you cannot stop him?
The Watcher
Our oath prevents us from taking part in this conflict.
Harrison Butker
Wonderful.
So while you're doomscrolling the multiverse—watching it crumble,
I, now hold the burden of-
Harrison Butker slips to another point in time.
WEST COAST COUSINS:
THE KANG DYNASTY
Episode Two - Out of Time
Kang the Conqueror
How many of your precious F-Men will die for your cause, Minhneto?
How many can you save?
Master Mold
Terminate Mutant.
Master Mold sends a blast directly at Minhneto!
Minhneto crashes into a statue of Professor X,
the monument crashes to the floor.
Breece 'Beast' Hall goes for 102 rush yards and a touchdown,
scoring 17.80. But David Montgomery drops 25.90.
Colston 'Nightcrawler' Loveland
Breece! Are you alright my friend?
Kang the Conqueror
I was told that mutants were the future of mankind.
The next evolution of our species.
Wrong. I am the future of mankind.
When I look at you, F-Men, all I see is a failed prototype.
Fall to your knees and bow to your Conqueror!
Christian 'Wolverine' Watson
I've seen a lot in my day, bub.
But if you think we're kneeling to a purple space cowboy,
you got another thing comin'.
Kang the Conqueror
Ah, yes. The Wolverine.
You may have seen many lifetimes, mutant.
But I assure you, you haven't seen all that I've seen.
Christian 'Wolverine' Watson
Maybe not. But I've seen enough of you!
Christian Watson puts up 26.70 scoring 2 touchdowns.
Minhneto's WR outscores Dollar Discount Team 46.10 - 14.00.
---------------------------------------------------
Minhneto's Week 1 Objective:
Save Christian 'Wolverine' Watson
(Win the Wide Receiver Matchups Excludes Flex in Week 1)
Result - PASSED
---------------------------------------------------
Narrator
As the F-Men continue to fight off the Viet Kang,
Cameron 'Jubilee' Dicker is mostly useless, scoring 2 points.
But since Minhneto's opponent doesn't start a kicker, she survives.
---------------------------------------------------
Minhneto's Week 1 Objective:
Save Cameron 'Jubilee' Dicker
(Win the Kicker Matchup in Week 1)
Result - PASSED
---------------------------------------------------
Joe 'Cyclops' Burrow does just enough to outpace Drake Maye,
scoring 15.16 - 12.82.
Morph turns into the Hulk and survives.
---------------------------------------------------
Minhneto's Week 1 Objective:
Save Morph
(Win the Quarterback Matchup in Week 1)
Result - PASSED
---------------------------------------------------
Chuckanuts totals 107.36 as Bhayshul 'Bishop' Tuten escapes unscathed.
---------------------------------------------------
Minhneto's Week 1 Objective:
Save Bhayshul 'Bishop' Tuten
(Score Over 100 Fantasy Points in Week 1)
Result - PASSED
---------------------------------------------------
Narrator
However, not all has gone well for Minhneto.
Breece 'Beast' Hall is crushed under the rubble as his running backs are outscored
29.60 - 26.60 behind David Montgomery's 25.90.
Breece 'Beast' Hall is killed in action.
Cameron 'Jubilee' Dicker
Breece!
---------------------------------------------------
Minhneto's Week 1 Objective:
Save Breece 'Beast' Hall
(Win the Running Back Matchups Excludes Flex in Week 1)
Result - FAILED
---------------------------------------------------
Narrator
Despite the absence of Brock Bowers,
Colston Loveland is unable to outscore Michael Mayer as Loveland drops a goose egg.
---------------------------------------------------
Minhneto's Week 1 Objective:
Save Colston 'Nightcrawler' Loveland
(Win the Tight End Matchup in Week 1)
Result - FAILED
---------------------------------------------------
Master Mold
Mutant terminated.
Minhneto keels over in pain at the loss of his fellow mutants,
but the pain quickly turns into rage.
Minhneto
THEY SHALL BE AVENGED!
The enraged Minhneto takes out his frustrations on the Captain Covfefe variant.
Minhneto wins his Week 1 matchup 107.36 - 63.92.
Winner via Pinfall: Chuckanuts
But Kang is not done with this world.
The landscape collapses as the Conqueror unleashes his full power.
Narrator
The 17th year Fantasy Manager is no match for Kang the Conqueror,
despite the power of his magnetism, Kang is able to dodge and evade each attack.
Kang the Conqueror
The Master of Magnetism.
Yet, you cannot lead your F-Men.
Your Fantasy Team counted on you... and you failed.
Just as you fail in all timelines, Minhneto.
You will never be good enough.
Now, it's left to me to make use of your wasted potential.
Jean Grey does her best to fight off the onslaught of the Viet Kang.
But among the chaos, she's blindsided by Kang.
Kang the Conqueror
There, there, my child.
The difficult part is over.
Kang approaches Jean and places her onto his ship.
Narrator
While winning his Week 1 matchup, Minhneto finishes 6 out of 12 in Week 1 points.
---------------------------------------------------
Minhneto's Week 1 Objective:
Save Jean Grey
(Score the Most Fantasy Points of all Managers in Week 1)
Result - FAILED
---------------------------------------------------
Kang the Conqueror
Well done, Justin.
Your efforts have ensured our victory.
Order the Viet Kang to board the ship.
Earth-97 is now out of time.
Justinmonger
What about Hansen?
He's wounded and needs immediate treatment.
Kang the Conqueror
Leave him.
Justinmonger
What?
But he'll die if we leave him here.
Kang the Conqueror
He served his purpose.
63.92 will not get it done for my regime.
It's time to cut the dead weight.
An eruption as Genosha falls at the hands of Kang.
Master Mold unleashes his biggest attack yet!
But with the last bit of energy,
Minhneto creates a magnetic shield to protect his fantasy team.
Rogue and Gambit run after Master Mold,
but Minhneto holds them back.
Rogue
Don't you dare, Minh!
You hear me?
Gambit
He's trying to protect us, Rogue!
Minhneto
Hab keine Angst.
Minhneto's helmet rolls at Kang's feet.
The Conqueror picks it up.
Kang the Conqueror
Set us on a course for our next world.
We have much to teach Ms. Grey.
Kang leaves Earth-97.
Narrator
Among the debris, Joe 'Cyclops' Burrows finds a way out.
However, the stark realization hits him, the F-Men have lost.
Cyclops rips off his visor.
Burrows unleashes an uncontrollable Optic Blast in frustration.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Harrison Butker slips to another point in time.
Harrison Butker
What the hell was that? What just happened?
The Watcher
You have been Time Slipping again.
Welcome back, I was wondering when I would see you again.
Harrison Butker
See me again? I just saw you a second ago...
The Watcher
It has been months since I have seen you, Butker.
An unfortunate side effect of your uncontrolled Time Slipping,
there is no telling which time period you will end up in.
Harrison Butker
This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?
And what is the all powerful Uatu doing today?
What doomed world is on the programming schedule?
The Watcher
Allow me to show you.
Earth-316.
Earth-316
Single H
Pupstin, let's just cut straight to the chase.
You don't know how long I've waited to get back in the ring with you.
Four years ago, you screwed me on the biggest stage of them all!
You sold your soul to the devil to win a League Championship—and hell, I don't blame ya.
I've done my fair share of dirt in my time.
But in doing so, you screwed yourself, Pupstin.
Single H
You had the opportunity to settle the debate once and for all.
Who is the greatest Fantasy Manager of all time in the West Coast Cousins?
You had an opportunity to put it to bed.
But what did you do?
You had to cheat to win.
And because of you, we will never know what would have happened
if Damar Hamlin didn't go down that night.
Yeah, you won your 4th League Championship, but when they put that banner up in the rafters,
they did it with an asterisk.
I, on the other hand, proved to the entire world that I deserve to be there.
Because just two seasons after being screwed over, I climbed back on top of the mountain.
I won my League Championship and cemented myself as a 4x League Champion.
The only difference is, I didn't bullshit my way to get it!
Steve Pupstin
Blah, blah, blah...
I've heard this same piece of crap for years.
A win is a win and it don't matter how you get it.
Spin it however you want, the fact remains, when the dust settles,
the history books will always show that heads up, in the Championship Match of FantasMania XIV,
Stone Cold Steve Pupstin pinned you 1-2-3, in the middle of this ring!
Steve Pupstin
So as far as I'm concerned, there is no debate.
You can play the hypothetical "What if?" game all you want.
Not to mention, the biggest flaw in your stupid ass arguement,
is assuming that just because Hamlin went down, you'd somehow automatically win?
Because if memory serves, Stone Cold Steve Pupstin was up in the scoreboard
and you still had a ways to go.
But I ain't here to talk about the past.
Let's talk about what's ahead.
Because if you want to get your lick back?
If you want to get even, I don't see a better alternative
If you want to get even, I don't see a better alternative
than facing Stone Cold Steve Pupstin, this Sunday at Unforgiven!
*Crowd Cheers*
Single H
You're right. I'll give you that.
There's no point in talking about the past.
We'll settle it this Sunday, when I kick your ass
and I show the world that I am The Game and I'm just that damn good!
Steve Pupstin
That damn good huh?
Well, son. If you want to beat Stone Cold you're gonna have to do a lot better than that pitiful performance in Week 1 and that's the bottom line, cause Stone Cold said so!
A Silver woman appears in the top of the arena
as the crowd's focus shifts from the ring to the above their heads.
Silver Surfer
Earth-316, your planet is now marked for death.
Your world is set to be conquered by Kang.
There is nothing you can do to stop him.
For he is a multiversal force.
Hold your loved ones close and speaks the words you have been afraid to speak.
Harrison Butker
Wait a minute, what was that?
The silvered woman, where did she come from?
The Watcher
The Watcher
She is Kang's herald, traveling from universe to universe
warning them of their imminent demise.
Harrison Butker
Are there more worlds like this?
We need to follow this herald, she may lead us to Kang.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Justin Roberts
The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL...
Crowd
ONE FALL!
Justin Roberts
And it is to determine the 2025 West Coast Cousins League Champion!
Justin Roberts
Introducing his opponent, making his first FantasyMania Championship appearance,
holding a Professional FantasyMania record of 3 wins and 1 loss.
From San Francisco, California...
The terrifying, the deadly, the AMAZING... SPIDER-MAN!
*Crowd Boos*
Crowd
YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK!
Bonesaw charges at Spider-Man,
but Spider-Man is able to dodg the attack and leap above Bonesaw.
Bonesaw
What are you doing up there?!
Spider-Man
Staying away from you!
That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?
JR
We apologize to our television audience.
The opinions expressed by our Fantasy Managers do not reflect the West Coast Cousins.
King
We can't say anything these days without getting cancelled.
Bonesaw cracks Chris across the skull as Bijan Robinson scores 23.30!
JR
Oh! Look out!
King
This kid is getting a beating, he ought to quit while he's still got some brain cells.
A shot like that will undoubtedly give him a concussion!
JR
You've got to give credit to this kid though, he's got heart.
Still hanging in there.
With a crowbar in hand, Bonesaw rushes Spider-Man,
but Chris counters with 26.70 from Ashton Jeanty and 18.70 from St. Brown!
Chris wins going away, 161.02 - 85.46.
Winner via Pinfall and the NEW 2025 WCC League Champion:
Return of the Mac
Jaylen Warren
MJ... he's waking up!
MJ
Chris? Can you hear me?
The two embrace Christopher Parker.
Christopher Parker
Ow... what happened?
MJ
I'm so glad you're okay!
Doctor Strange
How are you feeling, Chris?
Christopher Parker
Like I got hit by a truck, what's going on?
Where am I?
Doctor Strange
You should rest.
You were nearly killed in another world.
Christopher Parker
Another world?
What are you talking about?
Doctor Strange
You were in last place, on the doorsteps of the afterlife.
Fortunately, we found you and brought you back to Earth-206.
Christopher Parker
Last place? Really?
I just had this crazy dream, Strange.
It was like, I was apart of this wrestling promotion and I had to wrestle this huge guy named Bonesaw.
It was like, I was apart of this wrestling promotion and I had to wrestle this huge guy named Bonesaw.
He hit me in the head with a steel chair, but I managed to beat him.
It was insane! And the crowd was going crazy!
And you were there.. and you, and you and you!
And then, then I became League Champion of the West Coast Cousins!
Doctor Strange
League Champion?
Must be a symptom of your concussion.
Christopher Parker
No, you don't understand. It felt so real!
Kenneth Walker scored 31.10, scoring multiple TDs...
It was like, I was this whole other person.
I went from last place to first place, all in a span of a single season.
It was real, I could feel it.
It was as if... as if I was better than everyone, and I knew it.
You have to believe me, Strange.
Doctor Strange
Deputy Kenneth Walker tried to kill you in another world.
That wasn't a dream. Get some rest, Chris.
Gwen Kelce
I'm glad you're doing better, Chris.
It looked touch and go there for a minute.
Spider-Man-206
Yeah, I'm glad too.
Christopher Parker
Wait—who are you?!
And why—why are you wearing-
Spider-Man-206
A Spider-Man suit?
MJ
Yeah... about that.
You're gonna wanna sit up for this, Chris.
We're still not in our world.
We're in a universe they call Earth-206.
And in this universe, they have their own version of Spider-Man.
He's—he's also Christopher Parker. I guess he's some kind of variant of yours...
Christopher Parker
A what...? What is going on?
Spider-Man-206
Heh, yeah.
If I'm being honest, I'm still weirded out by all this multiverse stuff too.
Jaylen Warren
Uh... guys, speaking of the multiverse, a giant portal just opened up!
Christopher Parker
Strange...
Doctor Strange
On it. Everyone be alert.
We don't know what might be coming from that portal.
A woman in a hooded outfit appears.
Janet Van Dyne
Doctor Strange.
My name is Janet Van Dyne and I need you to listen carefully.
This world is out of time.
He's coming and he plans to destroy us all.
Doctor Strange and Christopher Parker share a look of concern
as they stare at the hooded woman.
Black Baugh
Reyes, I've got my eyes on Christopher Parker.
Narrator
Just as the woman arrives to Earth-206, the Black Baugh appears from a distance,
watching our heroes ahead of Week 2.
Dante Reyes
Good. Is she with them?
Black Baugh
Black Baugh
Confirmed. Just as you suspected, Selina Kyle has arrived to warn them.
Dante Reyes
Alright, keep your distance.
We don't want to spook them before the big surprise.
15403.97
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