COUSINS
EPISODE IX
FANTASY WAR
It is a period of civil war. West Coast Cousin's League Champion, CM PUP,
has disappeared from the league. Vowing to never play Fantasy Football
in the West Coast Cousins again, CM PUP continues his pursuit of becoming
a quarterback in the Ultimate Football Championship League.
Meanwhile, within the West Coast Cousins, Minh Wyatt has made
significant progress on his ability to harness the Mind Stone. Despite
setbacks that have hindered his mental state, Minh Wyatt
appears close to completing his work. The Fantasy Manager looks to
win his first League Championship, and will do so by any means necessary.
Even if it means calling upon "The Fiend."
After his impeachment, President Trump has decided to take matters into his own hands.
With the Power Stone already in his possession, President Trump now finds
himself in West Coasteros where he looks to find the Underchucker's Urn....
Maester Aemon
This is Castle Black.
We are under assault.
I repeat, we are under assault.
We are sending this distressed raven requesting aid
from any Fantasy Managers within range.
We are 22 Fantasy Points behind.
Our Fantasy Team is made up of Game of Fantasy bench warmers.
We have very few starters.
This is not an active Fantasy Team.
I repeat, this is not an active Fantasy Team!
Kanye West
Hear me... and rejoice!
Narrator
I think this is about where we came in.
Kanye West
You have had the privilege of being saved by the Great President.
Kanye West
You may think this is suffering.
No, it is salvation.
Universal scales, tipped towards balance because of your sacrifice.
Kanye West
Smile, for even in death, you have become Trump Supporters.
We pan to Paul Heyman cautiously observing
the chaos that surrounds him.
President Trump
I know what it's like to be called a racist.
To feel so desperately that you aren't, yet you're hated nonetheless.
As the start of a new season draws near,
I ask you, to what end?
Dread it, run from it...
destiny still arrives all the same.
And now, it's here....
Donald Trump showcases his gauntlet, holding the Power Stone.
President Trump
Or should I say...
I am!
Vin Snow
Struggling to breathe:
.... You talk too much.
President Trump
To Paul Heyman:
The Underchucker's Urn or Vin Snow's head?
I assume you have a preference.
Vin Snow
We still don't have the Underchucker's Urn.
It was destroyed with the XFL, thanks to you.
President Trump
Ah, flashback humor.
Reluctantly, Paul Heyman reveals that he does in fact
have the Underchucker's Urn.
Vin Snow
To Paul Heyman:
You really are a heel manager.
Paul Heyman
I assure you, bastard.
The sun will shine on us once again.
President Trump
Your optimism is misplaced, West Coasterosi.
Paul Heyman
Well, for one thing.
I'm not from West Coasteros.
And for another... we have a Beast!
From out of nowhere, an enraged SC Lesnar appears.
He tackles the President, bringing Trump to the ground.
Senator Ryan attempts to intervene.
Kanye West
Let him have his fun.
.
Donald Trump, with Ezekiel Elliott's Power Stone,
begins to take back control.
Donald Trump slips, dodges and counters SC Lesnar's every move.
Trump lands a decisive blow, dropping Lesnar to the ground.
Melisandre
R'hllor, give me the strength for one last spell.
Melisandre
āeksiō ōños
Zyhys oñoso jehikagon Aeksiot epi, se gis hen syndrorro jemagon.
Using the last of her life force, Melisandre teleports SC Lesnar
back to the West Coast Cousins.
President Trump
What did you do?
Melisandre
I've started the fire.
The war has begun, Donald Trump.
I suggest you run and you hide,
for the night is dark and full of terror.
President Trump
That was a mistake.
Melisandre
I make no mistakes, Mr. Trump.
But you will make many.
Melisandre collapses and turns into dust.
President Trump
So be it...
Let there be war.
President Trump grabs the Underhucker's Urn,
crushing it into a single gem.
Donald Trump places the Urn Stone into his gauntlet.
Kanye West
My humble personage bows before your grandeur.
As you become the first man to yield not one,
but two Fantasy Stones.
President Trump
There are two more Fantasy Stones in the West Coast Cousins.
Bring them to me, my supporters.
Paul Heyman
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman.
And if you're going to go to the West Coast Cousins...
There is no one more qualified to advocate you on your conquest to the WCC.
Almighty Donald, I, Paul Heyman...
Advocate for The Beast Incarnate and The Mad Scientist of Professional Wrestling...
Vin Snows catches a glimpse of Paul Heyman holding a kendo stick behind his back.
Paul Heyman
Do hereby pledge my undying fidelity...
Paul Heyman attempts to strike the President with a kendo stick,
but Trump uses his stones to stop the attack.
President Trump
Undying fidelity?
You should choose your words more carefully.
Paul Heyman begs for mercy,
but Trump grabs him by the throat.
Paul Heyman
Choking:
You'll... never... be....
Obama.
Trump Smirks at Heyman's sly remark.
Paul Heyman fades, choking to his final breath.
The President gathers his supporters.
He uses the Urn to summon the ominous ring.
GONG
GONG
The lights return,
but the Trump Administration have disappeared.
Vin Snow struggles to get back to his feet.
He checks on Paul Heyman.
President Trump ignites an explosion using the Power Stone,
destroying all of Castle Black.
