West Coast Cousins Fantasy Football: WCC The Kang Dynasty: Episode 1

The End of Time

He Who Remains

Eons ago, before the TVA,

a variant of myself lived on Earth in the 31st century.

He Who Remains

He was a scientist and he discovered that there were universes stacked on top of his own...

He Who Remains

At the same time, other versions of us were learning the same thing.

Naturally, they made contact and for a while, there was peace.

He Who Remains

Narcissistic, self-congratulatory, peace.

They shared technology, and knowledge.

Using the best of their universes, to improve the others.

He Who Remains

However...

He Who Remains

Not every version of me was so—so pure of heart.

Some of us—new worlds meant only one thing.

New plans to be conquered.

The peace between realities...

He Who Remains

...erupted into all out war.

He Who Remains

Each variant, fighting to preserve their universe.

He Who Remains

And annihilate the others.

He Who Remains

This was almost the end,

ladies and gentlemen, of everything and everyone.

Kendrick Stark-4479

Let me guess what happens next.

The wonderful omniscient Time Keepers came and saved the day.

He Who Remains

....AAAMEEEEENNNN.

....

Naw. No...

Nope. This is where we diverge from the dogma.

He Who Remains

You see, it's not the Time Keepers that saved us all, no.

It was me.

The Time Keepers are just some fancy smoke and mirrors.

The grunt work, that was all me. I'm the man behind the curtain.

You see, every step you took to get here, I paved the road.

You? You just walked down it.

He Who Remains

You don't get here without me.

You see? I weaponized Alioth.

And I ended... I ended the multiversal war.

He Who Remains

Once I isolated our timeline, all I had to do was manage the flow of time.

And prevent any further branches.

Hence, the TVA!

He Who Remains

Hence, the Time Keepers and a highly efficient bureaucracy.

Hence, ages and ages of cosmic harmony.

He Who Remains

Hence.... You're welcome!

He Who Remains

You came to kill the devil... right?

He Who Remains

Well, guess what? I, keep you safe.

And... if you think I'm evil.

Well, just wait... 'til you meet my variants.

He Who Remains

Listen Stark, I understand your objections to what the TVA does.

I'll admit my methods are deceptive, but without me...

everything burns.

Kendrick Stark-4479

I don't understand, if you know everything and have seen everything,

then what are you so afraid of?

He Who Remains

...me.

Earth-97

We cut to Genosha, the mutant country is under attack.

Master Mold

BEHOLD! THE CONQUEROR!

WEST COAST COUSINS:

THE KANG DYNASTY

Episode One - Everything Burns

Earth-KANG

FantasyMania XVII Championship

1-2-3!

Winner via Pinfall and NEW 2025 League Champion:
Return of the Mac

Michael Cole

CFL has done it! CFL has won the 2025 League Championship!

Pat McAfee

Chris F'in Law is World Champion of the West Coast Cousins!

Michael Cole

Chris F'in Law now becomes the youngest League Champion in West Coast Cousins history!

CFL

Cry about it all you want!

Cry about it, but I am a generational talent!

I am the 2025 League Champion...

and I'm better than you.. and you fuckin' know it!

As CFL celebrates with his new Championship title,

the 2025 Kang Games has come to an end.

The youngest League Champion in WCC history makes his way back up

the entrance way in celebration.

From out of nowhere, Kevin Breakker comes in and spears CFL!

Michael Cole

Wait a minute!

Th-that's got to be Kevin Breakker! That's got to be Breakker!

Pat McAfee

Where the heck did he come from, Cole?!

Michael Cole

Seattle's newest acquisition, Kevin Breakker is here in the West Coast Cousins!

And he's not done, Pat.

Another spear through the stage! Somebody check on CFL!

Pat McAfee

What a way for CFL to start his Championship Defense!

It is absolute carnage out here in the Kang Universe!

*Crowd Cheers*

Council of Kangs

WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

Michael Cole

A major statement from the newly rebranded,

Seattle's very own, Kev Breakker!

Pat McAfee

KB is setting his sights high, going straight for the top dog.

I mean, congratulations to Chris F'in Law, but now he's just painted a huge target on his back.

And you know what they say, Cole.

Climbing the mountain isn't the hardest part, it's staying on top!

CFL has a journey ahead of him if he wants to stay in the main event picture.

Michael Cole

In the history of our league, there has only been one repeat Champion in back to back years.

Can Chris keep his crown this season?

We're gonna found out!

Michael Cole

And Pat, that's not all.

CFL vs. KB to open the season in the 2026 Kang Games,

but we have much more in store for Week 1.

John Seana takes on The Baugh in a rematch of FantasyMania XII.

The Megastar AL-LEX Knight goes one on one with the American Nightmare, Vincent Rhodes!

Loud Play Justin returns fresh off his 2nd place finish

to take on the 3x League Champion, Luke's Lunch Money.

We have a jam packed opening week in the West Coast Kang, you won't want to miss the action!

Pat McAfee

I'm already on the edge of my seat, Cole.

What could possibly happen next?!

Michael Cole

Well, as CFL gets medical attention, hopefully he didn't sustain another concussion,

we'll go to commercial break and come right back.

*Commercial*

Earth-????

Narrator

We return to the unknown universe where we find Harrison Butker

beside Thor Rocksinson's body after Rocksinson's failure to survive Borderland.

Doctor Strange

Butker, I'm sorry.

Doctor Strange

He's gone.

Harrison Butker

No... that can't be it.

There must be something we can do.

It can't end like this...

Doctor Strange

We've exhausted all of our options, Butker.

Thor Rocksinson is gone.

Narrator

Suddenly, a TVA portal appears as Ouroboros steps into the Sanctum Sanctorum.

Ouroboros

Harrison, step away from Doctor Strange.

Harrison Butker

OB... you're alive...

Ouroboros

I am. But you need to listen to me.

This Doctor Strange variant is not to be trusted.

Doctor Strange

Oh, OB. Don't be so dramatic.

I was wondering when I'd see you again.

Doctor Strange unleashes a spell and sends it towards OB.

Ouroboros

Butker! Quick, run!

Ouroboros grabs Butker as the two enter OB's portal,

leaving the unknown universe.

Earth-206

Narrator

OB and Harrison Butker return to Earth-206.

Harrison Butker

OB... where are we?

Ouroboros

We're back.

Back in Earth-206, where you belong.

Doctor Strange

Butker. Good to see you in one piece.

Harrison Butker

Strange...

How is the boy? Did you save him?

Gwen Stacy

He's fine, he's in the back recovering.

Sustained a concussion, but he'll be fine.

Doctor Strange

And Thor?

Harrison Butker

Thor... He didn't make it.

Doctor Strange

Harrison, I'm sorry-

Suddenly, Harrison Butker blips and disappears into thin air.

Gwen Stacy

Where did he go...?

Ouroboros

I don't know... he just—he just disappeared!

*Commercial*

Earth-97

Captain Covfefe

F-Men, there you are.

I'm looking for Minhneto, I must speak with him immediately.

Joe 'Cyclops' Burrow

Captain Covfefe? What are you still doing here?

I thought you left with Coach Rockson.

Captain Covfefe

I did. But a priority threat just hit my radar and time is running out.

Where can I find Minh?

Joe 'Cyclops' Burrow

No offense, Cap.

But whatever crisis you're facing, I'm sure we can deal with it together.

We work as a team here, Captain.

Christian 'Wolverine' Watson

*Sniffs the air*

Hold it there, Slim.

There's something's off about our boy here.

That ain't Tai Rogers under that mask.

Joe 'Cyclops' Burrow

Who are you really?

And what do you want with Minhneto?

Lloyd Hansen

Ah, well. I guess we can't fool them all.

Get 'em, Justin!

Justinmonger comes flying in.

Christian 'Wolverine' Watson

I'll take the military brat!

Cyclops and Lloyd Hansen duel trading points.

Narrator

Inside the Gala, the party is just getting started

as Rogue enters the grand ballroom.

LAUDATE OMNES GENTES LAUDATE

MAGNIFICAT IN SECULA

ET ANIMA MEA LAUDATE

MAGNIFICAT IN SECULA

Happy nation, living in a happy nation

Where the people understand and dream of perfect man

Situation, leading to sweet salvation

For the people, for the good

For mankind, brotherhood

We're traveling in time

Madelyne Pryor

Ah!

Jean's clone, Madelyn Pryror, see's a glimpse of the future.

LAUDATE OMNES GENTES LAUDATE

MAGNIFICAT IN SECULA

Madelyn stumbles as she makes her way outside,

she hears a familiar voice.

Cable

Turn it off! The music!

Get everybody out!

Cable

Kill the music!

Madelyne Pryor

Cable..?

Cable

We have to get everyone out!

Now! He's coming!

Madelyne Pryor

Who's coming?

Cable! What's going on?!

Cable

He's coming after her!

He's going after the Dark Phoenix!

Madelyne Pryor

Jean...?

Computer

Access failure imminent. Body slide one.

Cable

No! No... not again!

Madelyn takes a careful look at Cable's eyes, she recognizes them.

Madelyne Pryor

Your eyes... you made it!

You survived.

Cable

I'm so sorry, Mom.

...IN SECULA

Madelyne Pryor

Sorry for what...?

A sudden attack!

A blast of green energy levels Genosha to rubble, killing mutants along the way.

Master Mold

BEHOLD! THE CONQUEROR!

Kang the Conqueror

Alas, we have arrived, Earth-97.

Bring the Phoenix to me!

Gambit

It's Kang! And he's got a vile Godzilla Sentinel.

You go at it, you end up dead. Can't even dent it.

We need to evacuate, Minh.

Minhneto

I draw its fire away from the gardens.

Cyclops clears a path for Gambit and Wolverine to the Conqueror.

Save as many as you can.

We shall not live our days wondering if we could have saved more!

Kang the Conqueror

I like this variant.

Fighting the good fight alongside the F-Men.

Who would have thought?

But as you will soon find out, fighting Kang only ever ends in a loss.

Kang the Conqueror

Send in the Viet Kang!

The Viet Kang arrive in Genosha as Joe Burrow fights them off,

he's projected to score 19.93 points in Week 1.

Burrow unleashes his Optic Blast,

and his cannon for an arm, firing at Kang.

But it proves futile, as Kang utilizes his advance technology

to absorb Burrow's attack.

Christian 'Wolverine' Watson starting in the WR3 position projects to score 8.41.

Jameson 'Rogue' Williams is placed in the Flex position.

Colstone 'Nightcrawler' Loveland is the Tight End.

The Captain Covfefe variant, Lloyd Hansen goes toe to toe with Minhneto

ahead of their Week 1 matchup.

The Tai Rogers variant stacks his team with Drake Maye and AJ Brown.

Before Hansen can get to Minhneto, Breece 'Beast' Hall joins in on the battle!

As Christian 'Wolverine' Watson looks to get off to a fast start,

he's interrupted by another Fantasy Manager.

Narrator

Justinmonger returns to the side of Kang the Conqueror,

led by Jonathan Taylor and JSN, he will look to replicate his success from a season ago.

Banshee jumps in front of Justinmonger's attack, shielding Watson.

Justinmonger

Bad move, Banshee.

You're just gonna get hurt if you stand in my way!

Banshee

Not as long as I'm wearing these Jamaican colors!

There's no way you can harm me!

Kang the Conqueror

Enough.

Let's stop toying around and put an end to this!

Master Mold fires at Minhneto!

Minhneto manages to evade the attack, but Genosha is left in devastation.

Forcing Jean Grey to ascend and lend a hand.

Kang the Conqueror

And there she is. The Dark Phoenix...

Jean Grey unloads and manages to take out a number of Viet Kang.

Minhneto

Stay back, Jean!

Jean Grey

I've got this, Minhneto!

Minhneto

He's come for you. I won't let him get near you.

Minhneto sends Jean away with his magnetism.

Minhneto

Your qualms are with me, Conqueror!

Let my people go and we shall settle this conflict the way it was meant to be settled.

Man to man.

Kang the Conqueror

Oh, you poor thing.

You think I came all this way to battle you?

This isn't about you. You're a footnote in my story.

A small minute detail in my grand design.

You don't matter to me, Minhneto. You never have.

Minhneto

Spoken like a man who desires to be someone.

You possess the power of a god, yet your vision remains desperately human.

With all your knowledge and technology, you could build a better world.

Instead, you grovel like a Tyrant with a temper tantrum.

How many times have you lost this battle in order to succeed?

Kang the Conqueror

You think you can get under my skin?

I've seen far worse and I've been through far more.

But you're right about one thing, Minh.

I have lost this battle many times over.

Which is why your efforts are futile, you cannot win against a man who has seen it all!

So riddle me this, Minhneto.

How many of your precious F-Men will die for your cause?

Kang the Conqueror

How many can you save?