Vinpool
....Heh.
Well, this is awkward.
Vinpool
I had a whole storyline fleshed out.
A big redemption arc in the upcoming seasons...
But apparently, my Fantasy Manager quit on me.
Yep. He took his ball and went home as they so often like to say.
I guess he was uncomfortable with the idea
that Auction Drafts are awfully reminiscent of slave auctions.
Maybe he was afraid of get cancelled.
But now, thanks to his roody poo, candy ass... my story is the one being cancelled.
Ah, well. I guess we're in for another Starkfest this episode.
Kevan
I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about...
Vinpool
Oh, right. Silly me.
Sometimes I forget that your super powers don't give you the ability
to see through the computer screen like I can.
But I'm sure your powers are cool too.
I bet you love scratch and sniff stickers.
Kevan
Your powers give you the ability to be an asshole.
Vinpool
No, that's just me. It's not a superpower.
TVA soldiers appear through portals.
TVA Soldier
Wade Vinson.
You are under arrest by the Time Variance Authority for too many crimes to list.
Come out and we will extend you the courtesy of taking you in, in one piece.
Vinpool
Wait, are they still moving forward with my story?
Maybe I'll get that redemption arc after all...
TVA Soldier
Last chance, freaks.
Throw out your weapons and come out peacefully.
Kevan
Who you calling freak, bub?
Vinpool
Fuck yes! I'm gonna get a chance to finish the story!
Let's fucking gooooo!
Alright Wolvie, Maximum Effort!
*Piano begins to play*
Vinpool
I am not a stranger to the dark...
Hide away, they say
Cause we don't want your broken parts....
Cause we don't want your broken parts....
Kevan
What the fuck are you doing?
Vinpool
What? Are we not singing anymore?
We can't leave the movie's biggest anthem out of this.
Vinpool
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars...
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are...
Vinpool
But I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
...For we are glorious!
Vinpool
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down...
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out...
Vinpool
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be.... this is me
Vinpool
Look out cause here I come...
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum...
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies... this is me!
Oh-oh-oh-ohOh-oh-oh-ohOh-oh-oh-ohOh-oh-oh-ohOh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh....
Vinpool
Hey... that's your cue. What are you waiting for?
This is your solo.
This is your solo.
Kevan
...Fuck off.
Vinpool
What? Don't tell me you're too cool for musicals now.
You'll never win another Tony at this rate.
Vinpool
We are bursting through the barricades and
Reaching for the sun (WE ARE WARRIORS!)
Yeah, that's what we've become (yeah, that's what we've become...)
Vinpool
I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
...FOR WE ARE GLORIOUS!
Vinpool
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm mean to be... this is me!
Look out cause here I come!
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies... THIS IS ME!
Oh-oh-oh-ohOh-oh-oh-ohOh-oh-oh-ohOh-oh-oh-ohOh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh....
Vinpool
Oh... THIS IS ME!
Just as Vinpool and Kevan handle the TVA Agents,
additional reinforcements arrive.
Vinpool
Jesus fuck!
How many of you assholes work for the TVA?
Mr. Paradox arrives with the additional reinforcements.
Paradox
Arrest these two!
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The TVA get their hands on Vinpool and push him to the ground.
Paradox
Any last words before we prune your existence from the timeline?
Vinpool
It wasn't me! It was Ignacio!
He's the one!
....
Siempre soy el, siempre amigo del cartel!
As the TVA contains both Vinpool and Kevan,
a set of charged cards come flying in, freeing the two Fantasy Managers.
Gambit
Well now... looks like you two could use a hand from ol' Gambit, eh?
Blade
You might not have a Fantasy Team no more, but you still have us.
Paradox
Who the fuck are these guys?!
X-23
We're the Exiles.
And we're here to fuck up the TVA!
Vinpool
Hell yes! That's what I'm talking about!
We've got our own reinforcements!
Suck on that, Paradox!
Kevan
Laura...? Is that you?
X-23
Hi Kevan.
Vinpool
Wait... Laura? Like... the Laura?
X-23?
X-23
Yes...
Vinpool
Holy shit...
I'm gonna be a dad!
Kevan
....
WEST COAST KANG:
THE RISE OF THE CONQUEROR
Episode Eight - the solution.mp4
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Kendrick von Doom
My name is Doctor Kendrick von Doom.
Earth-616
Narrator
In Earth-616, Kendrick Stark continues his investigation into the encrypted files.
After reviewing the doomsday file, he has moved onto the next video - the solution.mp4.
As the clip plays, we see a video recorded by a scientist who bears
a striking resemblance to Kendrick Stark.
He goes by the name of Doctor Kendrick von Doom.
Kendrick von Doom
If you are watching this, then you should know
that what I am about to share is the culmination of many years of Multiversal Research.
Should I be unable to continue my work or should the multiverse itself fray beyond repair,
this record shall remain as a beacon to anyone who dare to understand
or even attempt to continue the work I have begun.
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Kendrick von Doom
In the course of my studies,
I have devised a system to classify the infinite branching realities.
A tiered system, if you will.
Each universe is assessed based on
its inherent threat level to the stability of the greater multiverse.
Variables such as the presence of cosmic entities, temporal instabilities,
and the proliferation of reality-warping anomalies factor into its rank.
Universes that pose existential risks are marked for observation... or elimination.
Narrator
As Stark continues to watch the recording,
his usual confident and relaxed demeanor begins to fade.
There is a seriousness and sense of unease
as Kendrick comes to the realization of what it is that he has uncovered.
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Kendrick von Doom
In addition to ranking branching realities, I have extended
this tiered system to individual variants themselves.
These variants and their actions possess disproportionate multiversal consequences.
Simply knowing about the existence of the multiverse increases their threat level significantly.
The mere fact that you, the viewer, are watching this video and have been exposed to this information,
lends to the fact that you would likely be rated as a high level threat to the greater multiverse.
Kendrick von Doom
The tiered system is simple.
The greater the threat, the higher number a specific universe or variant is assigned.
My system scales from 0-100.
Originally, my plan was to eliminate any universe or variant with a rating of 80 or higher.
But after further calculation, I have made the decision to err on the side of caution.
Any and all worlds with a rating of 70 or more have been marked for elimination.
Understand that there are such circumstances where entire universe need not be eliminated.
If a specific variant has a high rating and there is not a large number of highly rated
individuals in that world, then simply eliminating those variants will lower that universe's rating.
Kendrick von Doom
In my time studying the multiverse, I have come across an individual
who is at the center of destruction.
Nathaniel Richards, also known as Kang.
Kang's answer to multiversal threats is as simplistic as it is abhorrent.
His plan is the annihilation of all timelines save for a single, sacred strand.
A monolithic solution borne from desperation and hubris.
Kendrick von Doom
His plan is not only cowardice and lazy, it is also unnecessary.
Total erasure is superfluous, especially as I have demonstrated
the application of surgical precision.
Selectively excising malignant universes and dangerous variants,
the multiverse can be stabilized while preserving its inherent diversity and potential.
This is not mercy, nor is it idealism.
It is the lesser of two evils, a controlled, methodical culling in the place of blind obliteration.
Kendrick von Doom
Understand, my philosophy is not mere theory.
It is a doctrine of preservation through dominance.
Should you find yourself inheriting this work,
remember - we do not burn the garden to uproot the weeds.
We prune, strategically and without hesitation.
I trust you will have the wisdom to follow these principles
and do what is necessary to maintain multiversal balance.
This is Doctor Kendrick von Doom. End recording.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Earth-1
Narrator
Back in Earth-1, with the assistance from Selina Kyle,
Nathanial Richards has returned to his home world in an attempt to save Ravonna Renslayer.
Nathaniel Richards
Ravonna. Wait.
Listen to me, we don't have much time.
Ravonna Renslayer
Nathaniel? What are you doing here?
You shouldn't be here...
My lawyer said to call the police if you came to my house.
Nathaniel Richards
I know, but listen.
Something bad is about to happen, but I came here to prevent that.
Ravonna Renslayer
What are you talking about...? Nathaniel, it's late.
You really should go.
Narrator
Back in Earth-KANG,
we see Selina Kyle monitoring Nathaniel's activity in Earth-1.
Kang the Conqueror
How is it going?
Kang the Conqueror walks into frame.
Selina Kyle
Nathaniel has returned to Earth-1.
Just as you intended...
Kang the Conqueror
And you told him everything I asked you to say?
Selina Kyle
Yes, my Conqueror.
Kang the Conqueror
Good.
Narrator
At this point, it is revealed to the audience that Selina's conversation with Nathaniel
was disingenuous. Kang orchestrated the conversation and pushed Nathaniel to return to Earth-1.
Selina Kyle
Kang, if I may...
why did you want Nathaniel to return to Earth-1?
Kang the Conqueror
So that he can move on.
Nathaniel must eradicate from his essence, the childish folly that plagues him.
He follows his heart, admirable. But in the end, it will be his downfall.
Kang the Conqueror
No matter what he does, no matter how many times he tries to save her,
he will succeed in failing.
And failing is what will make him great.
It's all part of the process.
Nathaniel must goes through this a few thousand times before he can learn.
I want him to replay that very moment over and over again.
I want him to replay every other moment that he believes that he can salvage.
So that he too, will one day become hardened like me.
Kang the Conqueror
Selina, when I put you in the break room, I don't do it to torture you.
I do it to show you the way.
I wouldn't ask you to do anything that I wouldn't do myself.
All I can be is sorry and that is all that I am.
Selina Kyle
You've done this all before.
Kang the Conqueror
I have.
A long time ago, I sat in that chair and I asked you to help me.
I asked you to send me back to Earth-1 with that same fiery desire to save Ravonna.
But despite my will, my obsession with saving her was futile.
I am who I am today because of you.
I am who I am through the journey I've been on.
I've tried so many times to fix things... but I just kept making them worse.
That is... until now.
I will fix everything and I will absolve the multiversal crisis once and for all.
It is my life's mission. I must finish my work.
There is only one way to save the multiverse... destroy it.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Michael Cole
Well, we are officially at the midway point of the season, Jerry and Pat.
We have our contenders, we have our pretenders and we have the bottom of the barrel.
After Week 7, Rockson Reigns is back on top of the food chain as
he defeated Tai Rollins 140.36 - 97.42.
Meanwhile, The Baugh and CFL are rising as both managers
scored over the century mark in their Week 7 wins.
CFL is on a 3 game winning streak but will have a tough matchup
as he takes on the Joycement Day in Week 8.
Pat McAfee
A tough matchup indeed, Rhea Joycely and the Joycement Day
have quietly had a hell of a season so far.
Despite the 3-4 record, she remains in the Top 3 in points and is climbing
as she's entered the Top 6.
Michael Cole
A big win for the Joycement Day last night against Vincent Rhodes
winning 118.22 - 114.04.
Vincent Rhodes
West Coast Cousins has more than one Royal Family...
*Vincent Rhodes' Music Hits*
Pat McAfee
Uh oh! Speaking of Vincent Rhodes... we know what this is all about!
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
A very important decision looms ahead for Vincent Rhodes.
Will he accept The Baugh's offer and sell his soul to the Final Boss?
Michael Cole
I certainly hope not, but we are about to find out as we head to the top of the hour...
We are LIVE for Wednesday Night Preview!
Vincent Rhodes
So... what do you all want to talk about?
*Crowd Cheers*
*Crowd Cheers*
Vincent Rhodes
I suppose... there's an elephant in the room.
And for the past week, I have heard from everyone.
I've talked to my friends, I've talked to my family...
And they all want to know, what is my response to The Baugh?
What do you all think Sacramento? Should I sell my soul to The Final Boss?
*Crowd Boos*
*John Seana's Music Hits*
John Seana
Vincent, before you answer The Baugh, I just have to say my piece.
I've known The Baugh for a long time and I know what he's capable of.
And if you want my advice...
no matter what he says, no matter what he offers you, don't do it.
John Seana
You're better than that, Vincent.
You're not that.
Hell, I was in your shoes before and I've had plenty of opportunities to sell my soul.
But I knew, in my heart, that I couldn't turn my back on these people.
The WCC Universe, the West Coast Kang, all of it...
every single person sitting in the crowd, they came to see you.
They came to root you on and they make all of this possible.
If I can't convince you... then let these fans convince you.
*Crowd Cheers*
Council of Kangs
VINCENT! VINCENT! VINCENT!
John Seana
You're the star of the show now. You're QB1.
You can take this League to new heights...
But if you turn your back on the people... well, then this League is doomed.
Do the right thing, Vincent.
Rise above the hate.
Just say no to The Baugh.
*The Baugh's Music Hits*
Michael Cole
And there he is, ladies and gentlemen, The Final Boss.
Yahoo Board Member, The Baugh!
And he's here for Vincent's answer.
Pat McAfee
Look at those goosebumps, Cole.
I've got goosebumps as well!
Michael Cole
The Most Electrifying Man in all of Entertainment, accompanied by Xavier Worthy,
The Baugh making his way down to the ring.
Pat McAfee
You can just feel it in the air. This is special.
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
Star power. Everywhere this man goes, his energy is unmatched.
The Baugh places his hand along Vincent's face,
a gesture of both intimidation and compassion.
The Baugh
Vincent Rhodes, forget about everything John Seana had to say.
John Seana is a non-factor. A zero time League Champion.
A career loser.
Don't listen to any advice this fruity pebble son of a bitch has to say.
If you want to be a League Champion,
if you want to finish your story, then you should listen to me.
The moment has arrived. Your moment has arrived.
The Baugh
I will open my arms, you will come to me, you will embrace me,
as your brother and I will embrace you as my Fantasy Manager.
I want it all, Vincent.
I want your mind, I want your soul.... and God have mercy,
I NEED your soul.
If the answer's yes, then the American Nightmare will live forever.
If your answer is no, then tonight, the dream dies.... again.
The Baugh opens his arms.
Vincent Rhodes
I want it all, Baugh.
The fame, the fortune, the League Championships...
I want to become an Omega Level Threat....
My soul no longer belongs to me.
And you know why?
Because I gave my soul to this ring, to this League,
and to these people a long time ago!
*Crowd Cheers*
Vincent Rhodes
I'm going to finish the story... but I'm going to do it my way!
Vincent Rhodes
So hey, Baugh....
GO FUCK YOURSELF!
*Crowd Cheers*
Pat McAfee
WHAAAAT?!
John Seana embraces Vincent Rhodes for choosing the right side.
As the two managers meet, Seana turns his attention to The Baugh,
who slowly nods his head towards John Seana.
*Crowd Cheers*
The Baugh slits his throat, signaling to John Seana.
After the embrace, Seana kicks Vincent in the groin!
Michael Cole
WHAT THE-
The Council of Kang go nuts as Baugh and Seana stare down a fallen Vincent Rhodes.
The crowd is in an uproar as they take in what they're witnessing.
Michael Cole
Oh my God, John!
What the hell are you doing?!
Pat McAfee
The Final Boss always has a plan!
Michael Cole
What the hell!
Seana with brass knuckles... beating the hell out of Vincent Rhodes!
Pat McAfee
It's a Rolex, Cole!
Michael Cole
John... John...
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
This is your boy, Cole.
Choices have consequences...
Pat McAfee
Look out! The Final Boss whipping Vincent Rhodes with that weight belt!
Michael Cole
Come on, John! Just stop...
Why does he need to sell out?
What was all that talk about rising about the hate?
About doing the right thing...
You've got to be kidding me!
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
He's a sellout, Cole. A textbook narcissist.
Michael Cole
18 years in this Fantasy League and you want to go out this like?
John wants to go out like this...
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
If the prize is great enough, people will stoop to whatever depth is takes.
John Seana is a desperate man.
Michael Cole
After everything he's accomplished in his career,
he's gonna stoop to this shit?
You've got to be kidding me!
This is is absolutely ridiculous.
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
Everybody has a price.
Everybody's soul can be bought.
Michael Cole
This is one of the most disgusting displays that I have ever witnessed.
Michael Cole
John, what are you doing?
I mean, there are millions of children around the world that look up to this man.
I mean, there are millions of children around the world that look up to this man.
Jerry 'The Kang' Lawler
Not anymore.
Michael Cole
Guys, I'm sick to my stomach.
Council of Kangs
YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT!
