West Coast Kang: Episode 13 - Martyr

Narrator

As we open Week 13, we return to Coach Rockson and Tai Rogers.

The two have failed to interrogate Donald Trump in Earth-616

and have now decided to try something different.

  

Captain Covfefe

Coach.... where are we?

Coach Rockson

We've entered another universe.

If we can't get to Trump-616, then I have a contingency in mind.

Captain Covfefe

Right. But what kind of world are we in?
I can't seem to wrap my head around what's going on here.

Coach Rockson

Like I said Cap, you have no idea what the multiverse is capable of.

It's grand and infinite in possibilities.

The world in which we are presently in, as you can see, it only has 2 dimensions.

It takes some getting used to, but you'll get the hang of it.

And if you think this world is strange, there are far more worlds with even stranger possibilities.

Captain Covfefe

I think I'm beginning to realize that.

So what's the plan?

Coach Rockson

I was hoping to learn more about the multiverse through the power of the Fantasy Stones.

But quite frankly, we're running out of time.

Time for research is over. We need to be prepared for war.

And as you know Cap, to win a war, you need soldiers.

Captain Covfefe

Soldiers? What kind of soldiers?

Earth-97

Coach Rockson

Mutants.

WEST COAST KANG:

THE RISE OF THE CONQUEROR

Episode Thirteen - Martyr

The White Rabbit

We see your intent... Anger. Festering.

Into rage.

....

Do not go down this path.

The White Rabbit

It ends in your demise.

The White Rabbit

You know better, Minhneto.

Romea Doubs

Minh? You alright, Suga?

Minhneto

Romea...

Minhneto

I'm sorry. I must have lost my focus for a second.

Romea Doubs

Lost your focus? Well, you'd better get focused, hun.

We're in the Danger Room, there's no time to lose focus!

Romea Doubs records 23 yards receiving for 2.30 points.

Minhneto

Very well.

Let them feel the wrath of Minhneto!

Romea Doubs

Heads up!

Jared Goff scores 2 touchdowns for 18.16.

Minhneto powers up and scores, lifting a metal object

and hurls it at the building.

Minhneto destroys the Sentinels, but at the cost of human life.

Minhneto and the F-Men lose in Week 12 now falling to 4-8 under his leadership.

Jared Goff

Minhneto!

That's not how this works.

Minhneto

The sentinels have been eliminated.

Jared Goff

But at the cost of civilian life!

The F-Men do not operate under this standard.

You're lucky this is a simulation...

Minhneto

Then in real life, I won't let it happen, Goff.

Jared Goff

That's not good enough.

We train under real life circumstances.

Above all us, we protect human life, mutant or not.

It's what the Professor would want.

Minhneto

The Professor isn't around any longer.

Coach Rockson

Minhneto!

Do you really know how to play the game?

Scorekeeper, deduct one life.

Minhneto

Nick Fury.

Coach Rockson

Nick Fury isn't here right now. The name's Coach Rockson.

And we need your help.

We're from another world and intel tells us an imminent threat is coming your way.

And soon, it won't be long before this threat takes us all out.

Minhneto

Another world, you say?

Interesting.

Don't tell me you came all this way on your own.... "Coach."

Captain Covfefe

He didn't.

Minhneto

Captain Covfefe, the First Cousin.

America's solution to genocide.

Minhneto

A mission to rule the world in the guise of justice.

Is this the same kind of deal, Rockson?

Send your most upstanding citizen so not to muddy the waters.

In the eye of the blind, the Liberation of Auschwitz was a success.

But those who know, know it was just the beginning.

Your act of liberation was too late for me, Covfefe.

My parents died because the rest of the world stood idle for far too long.

I won't make that same mistake.

Captain Covfefe

Then join us, Minhneto.

It's never too late to do the right thing.

Whatever disdain you have for the past, it's in the past.

Right now, we need you help.

Minhneto

Ever the optimist, Covfefe.

Romea, take care of him.

Romea Doubs snatches Captain Covfefe's shield and sends it flying into the mountains.

Captain Covfefe

You're making a mistake, Minhneto.

We're not your enemy.

And if the time comes when your world is under attack, don't say we didn't warn you.

*Commercial*

*Commercial*

As we return from commercial break,

we get a shot of Vincent 'Kang' McMahon's office.

Vincent 'Kang' McMahon

Let him in.

Vincent 'Kang' McMahon

So... you wanted to see me?

The camera pans over to Tai Rollins as the crowd cheers.

Tai 'Freakin' Rollins

Vincent 'Kang' McMahon.

Finally, I get to talk to the big man.

You know... I've been thinking about it for a while now.

There's just one thing I can't seem to wrap my head around.

What's in it for you?

Why host the Kang Games?

You claim that the winners get a ticket to paradise, but what are you getting out of it?

You say it's to entertain your variants, but I don't buy it.

There's got to be something more.

Vincent 'Kang' McMahon

You came all this way to ask me that?

Finally, you get facetime with the big bad Kang and that's what you came to ask?

...Or perhaps, there's another reason you're here.

After all... you wanted to be put back in the Kang Games.

I'm sure you were still high off your win in 2024.

It must have been nice, winning your first Championship since 2011.

So, I bet you thought you could do it again.

After all, you are the first and only back to back League Champion.

But it's not so easy anymore, is it?

Vincent 'Kang' McMahon

Here you stand, 2-10 and mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.

You know what that means, right?

In the context of the Kang Games, it means elimination from the timeline.

Those who dare enter the Kang Games and lose... they're gone forever.

I erase them from their respective timelines.

You know that better than anyone, you saw me do it in last year's Games.

So you know what I think?

I don't think you came here to ask me about my motivations.

I think you came here to beg for your life.

So, do it. Beg. And maybe I'll consider mercy.

Tai 'Freakin' Rollins

You think I'm afraid?

I knew the consequences when I joined the Games for a second time.

If you're going to prune me from the timeline, go ahead and do it!

I'm not the one whose afraid... I think you are the one that's afraid.

You're afraid of what happens if the multiverse continues to thrive.

You're afraid of what could happen to you if the other Kang variants takeover.

You feign salvation, but in reality, you're just a scared little bitch.

And if you kill me, you'll just prove my point.

The movement I started will continue even after I'm gone.

The No Kangs Movement will bring you down, Conqueror.

Vincent 'Kang' McMahon

You're no martyr, Rollins.

You stand on your principles and I respect that.

And maybe you're right.

Maybe I am afraid of my other variants. You should be too.

You see, I'm a survivor.

Above all else, I have to win.

My grand design, the collapse of the multiverse, it's just a roundabout way to be the last man standing.

You know what that's like, to be the last man standing.

Vincent 'Kang' McMahon

You re-entered the Kang Games thinking you could tear down the boogey man.

But it didn't pan out for you, did it?

Now, faced with a loaded gun in your face, there's only one thought on your mind.

"What can I do to survive?"

You're a survivor, just like me.

You stand on your morals, but when push comes to shove, at the end of the day,

it's self-preservation above all else.

That's all this is.

Vincent 'Kang' McMahon

So let's find out what you're truly made of, Tai.

Will you die for your beliefs?

Or will your basic survival instincts kick in?

Take this knife and plunge it into the neck of your fellow Fantasy Managers.

Those above you have secured a playoff spot.

But if you kill them... those spots open up.

Do you have the courage to do what's necessary?

Or are you truly the martyr that everyone thinks you are?

When it's your life vs. their lives, who will you choose?

Vincent 'Kang' McMahon

It's time to find out.

*Commercial*

*Commercial*

Michael Cole

Folks, welcome back to Wednesday Night Preview!

As Week 13 gets underway, a couple of marquee matchups with playoff implications on the line.

*Crowd Cheers*

Michael Cole

John Seana takes on the Best in the League, CM PUP, this Sunday at Survivor Series!

John Seana currently has a record of 7-5 as he takes on the 5-7, Jets2Holidays.

It'll be a huge matchup for both participants, a win for Seana would all but secure a playoff spot,

meanwhile CM PUP looking to keep his season alive, it's a must win game for CM PUP.

The two managers faced off earlier this season with CM PUP picking up the win,

but with so much on the line, anything can happen in Week 13!

*Crowd Cheers*

Pat McAfee

That's right, Cole.

But we can't forget about our other marquee matchup.

Kevin Owens vs. Sandy Orton.

Both managers are 5-7 and a loss here would in all likelihood end their season.

I'm sure there's some technicalities and mathematical possibilities,

but the bottom line is, a loss would hurt tremendously for either manager.

So in my eyes, it's win or go home!

Sandy Orton currently leads the season series 1-0 against Kevin Owens,

but these two are gonna put it all on the line this Sunday at Survivor Series!

Michael Cole

But that's not all folks, as we recap the Week 12 action, FantasyMania is just two weeks away.

A lot of playoff news this week with 4 Fantasy Managers clinching a playoff berth.

We mentioned it before, but it is now official, the Phenomenal Justin Styles has secured his ticket to FantasyMania and will be making his first appearance since 2017.

Pat McAfee

Phenomenal is absolutely right, Michael Cole.

When Justin Styles left this league in 2021,

many felt he didn't have the caliber to play Fantasy Football at an elite level

and now having toured the indy scene, returning back to the West Coast Cousins in 2025,

Justin Styles looks better than ever.

Michael Cole

We'll cover more on Justin Styles and his story in the upcoming weeks,

but last night a statement win from Rockson Reigns defeating CFL in Week 12,

128.46 - 120.32.

Pat McAfee

An explosive, high-octane match as both managers scored over 120.

But I think the big story is Rockson Reigns avenging his Week 1 loss to CFL.

Will we get a trilogy at this year's FantasyMania?

Michael Cole

We certainly could as both Fantasy Managers clinched a playoff spot

and could very well meet again for all the marbles.

 Michael Cole

And then there's the American Nightmare, Vincent Rhodes.

In Week 12, Vincent Rhodes defeated AL-LEX Knight 134.16 - 78.86.

His impressive season continues, but if he wants to clinch a first round bye,

he will need to string together a couple of more wins in the next 2 weeks.

Meanwhile, there are still 2 playoff spots remaining,

with John Seana, The Baugh, Sandy Orton, CM PUP and Kevin Owens still in the hunt.

AL-LEX Knight has an outside chance, but his total season points puts him at a huge disadvantage.

We now go live to Sarah Schreiber who is standing by with Vincent Rhodes.

Sarah Schreiber

Vincent, congratulations on your Week 12 win.

With just two weeks left in the regular season, you have officially clinched a playoff berth.

Now with FantasyMania just around the corner, where is your focus heading into Week 13?

Vincent Rhodes

Well, Sarah. First off, thank you for the congratulatory words.

It has been a long season, a trying season.

But as I prepared for this upcoming season, this was always where we wanted to be.

I'm holding onto that first place spot nearing the end of the regular season,

and with just two games left, obviously my focus is on that first round bye.

Last season was my first taste of FantasyMania and it ended in a first round exit.

By securing a first round bye, not only does that mean I have succeeded my previous season,

but it puts me in the Semi-Finals of FantasyMania and puts me one step closer to finishing my story.

Sarah, my current state of mind going into Week-

*Crowd Cheers*

Pat McAfee

Wait a minute! What the hell.... it's the Final Boss!

THE FINAL BOSS IS HERE!

Michael Cole

The Baugh, taking out Vincent Rhodes from behind!

The Baugh

Look at you now, boy!

Look at you now...

The Baugh

You think The Baugh is just gonna let you talk trash?

Look at you now!

The Baugh throws a trash can at Vincent Rhodes,

as the American Nightmare stumbles out of the arena.

The Baugh

A piece of trash for a piece of trash!

The Baugh

Come on, boy!

Get up. You know how many candy asses I've thrown off of a Roody Poo bridge?

You want to run your mouth? You want to be a hero?

You son of a bitch...

The Baugh throws Vincent Rhodes into his tour bus.

The Baugh

Oh yeah!

Kang Universe, look at your hero.

The Baugh

The Baugh is the Final Boss!

Look at me, cameraman!

You want to know why The Baugh is the Final Boss?

Did you think for one solitary second,

that The Baugh was gonna let this piece of trash talk his shit?

No, not by a long shot!

The Baugh

Because at the end of the day, The Baugh gave him an opportunity.

He gave him an opportunity to be his Champion.

To be my Fantasy Manager.

But he refused The Baugh. He disrespected The Baugh.

The Baugh

It didn't have to be like this, Vincent.

But now, you've dug your own grave.

Vincent Rhodes, you should have given me your soul.

Oh... but one way or another, you're gonna pay.

The Baugh

Look at this... look at you now.

Hahaha... wipe yourself off, Vincent Rhodes.

You're bleeding.

The Baugh

You son of a bitch! You don't want to be my Champion?

You don't want to represent The Baugh?

That's fine. That's your decision.

But you're going to have to live with that decision for the rest of your life!

And because you refused The Baugh, you're standing in my way for FantasyMania!

I need this win. I need to make it to FantasyMania.

You piece of shit...

The Baugh throws Vincent Rhodes against the tour bus one more time.

The Baugh

You want to finish your story? There's your story.

There's your League Championship.

Vincent Rhodes' blood all over my Championship titles.

You want to be the hero? Here's your hero.

Here's where that gets you.

The Baugh

This is what happens when you fuck with the Final Boss!

Look at your hero....

It didn't have to be this way. But now, this is the only way.

Producer

We're clear, guys. We're clear.

The Baugh

FUCK THAT!

Producer

We're clear.

The Baugh

FUCK THAT! You shut your mouth!

Clear my ass!

The Baugh

How did that feel? Did that feel good?

What? Just because the show's over, that doesn't mean the shit stops.

The Baugh doesn't give a fuck!

You should cry!

The Baugh

You should cry, look at that blood!

Vincent Rhodes

Ahh... God!

The Baugh

What? Show's over and it stops?

Fuck that! Your script? Fuck that!

Your storyline? Fuck that!

This is what happens boy, when you fuck with The Final Boss.

The Baugh

COME IN HERE, CAMERAMAN!

Look at that face... Huh?

I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving, you son of a bitch.

Eat your turkey, get some stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy.

Help yourself to a second plate... enjoy your last meal.                                      

Because come Sunday, The Baugh is putting you down once and for all.

The Baugh

I'll see you at Survivor Series!