Stephen A. Smith
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to First Take.
It's Week 5 in the West Coast Cousins and we have a lot to discuss.
But joining me now is a very special guest,
former Fantasy Manager in the West Coast Cousin,
local jiu-jitsu tournament medalist, the one the only, Justinmonger!
Stephen A. Smith
First of all, welcome to the studio.
How ya doing? I hear you're doing great things.
Great things with your business,
your gym and I see you've even taken on photography as a hobby.
Justinmonger
Absolutely, Stephen A. thank you for having me.
Definitely been keeping myself busy in my post fighting career.
Stephen A. Smith
Let's talk about the West Coast Cousins.
We're now in Season 2 of the storyline revival.
Justin, you are a former West Coast Cousin.
You've played Fantasy Football in this league before,
you know how tough it is.
Who do you like so far in the early going
and how do you see this season playing out?
Justinmonger
Well, I think anyone with eyes can see that Rock Reigns is the early favorite.
Thor Rocksinson, he's made a lot of good moves in the draft.
Namely with his running backs, Saquon Barkley, Alvin Kamara and Aaron Jones.
And not to mention, Nick Chubb coming off IR very soon.
If he can stay healthy, he's definitely going to be in the mix
with a deep playoff run, if not more.
Stephen A. Smith
He certainly looks strong to start out the year,
scoring over 120 points in each and every single game so far.
And he stands on top of the power rankings in the West Coast Cousins at 4-0.
He'll be chasing that elusive 3rd League Championship
in the West Coast Cousins, a prerequisite to be considered one of the greats.
Let's just hope someone else doesn't screw him in the Championship Game,
should he make it that far. Because that would be a travesty.
Who else do you like so far? Any other contenders in 2024?
Justinmonger
Well, the Circle of Champions remain a threat, for real.
Luke's Lunch, the Scarlet Joyce. She looks dangerous early on.
She is also undefeated at 4-0 and if her team can stay healthy,
she can definitely make a run at the end of the season.
Meanwhile, The Baugh, he's still playing at a high level.
No manager has ever won back to back since Captain Covfefe.
And The Baugh tends to get better as the season goes along, he could do it this year.
But if there is to be a new Champion, someone outside the Circle of Champions,
I'd keep my eye on Alex's Team. He's dropped two in a row,
but still 2nd in the League in points.
After a blazing start, he's had a bit of a drop off, I'm curious to see if he can turn it around.
Stephen A. Smith
Alright. We've talked about the good.
Let's talk about the bad.
For some of these managers, it's looking bleak.
How do they respond and make a late season run?
Justinmonger
I'm not so sure they can, Stephen A.
Justinmonger
Don't get me wrong, it's a long season and anything can happen.
But look, I've been on the bottom in this League.
Practically every year, I was on the bottom.
But this League has gotten a lot more competitive in recent years.
The draft is having high participation rates.
The League is as competitive as it has ever been.
And for a guy like John Seana, we can see fluctuations from year to year.
Stephen A. Smith
I've got to be honest, Justin.
This is about as bad of a team as I have ever seen from Seana.
Here we go... more like here we don't.
This could be worst than that 2022 team, when he finished in last place.
Honestly, I think Seana may be more focused on the creative endeavors of the league,
worrying about the product that comes out on this platform,
instead of putting out a better product in the league itself.
I mean, talk about desperate, this guy spent $56 on Kareem Hunt!
I think Kareem should be claimed in any league, but $56?!
Are you kidding me?
Stephen A. Smith
I don't know what's going on with John Seana.
But whatever it is, I don't think we're ever gonna see the John Seana of old ever again.
John Seana in 2020, let's face it.
He had his best year. He didn't win and maybe he hasn't gotten over it.
He came back in 2021, made it to the Championship game and fell short again.
Mentally, I don't think he has ever recovered and I'm not sure he ever will.
In Fantasy Sports, mental health is a real thing.
But that 1-2 year window that John Seana had, it's closed.
We will never see that type of performance from John Seana ever again.
And I certainly believe that Seana will never be a League Champion in West Coast Cousins.
Stephen A. Smith
Meanwhile, we've got to talk about last year's runner up, Vinpool.
Wade Vinson, The Winged Dragon of Ra.
A lot of high hopes and expectations coming into this year.
After coming off his best season in the West Coast Cousins,
I think a lot of folks thought Vinson would come into this year with a lot to prove.
But now that he's 0-4, any hope of him finishing his story this season is out of the question.
Justinmonger
Yeah and honestly, it's tough to repeat the success of previous years.
That's why when you make it to the Championship Game, you've got to capitalize.
Championship hangovers, late season fatigue. Those are real things.
Vinson just didn't have a strong offseason and draft preparation.
When you put your fate in the hands of auto draft, anything can happen.
Justinmonger
But I do think Wade Vinson can bounce back and make something of the season.
The running back room leaves a lot to be desired on this team,
but the addition of Geno Smith, Marvin Harrison Jr. continues to play well.
We'll see if the Manager with a Mouth can turn things around.
Stephen A. Smith
Alright, we're out of time for today.
Thank you for joining us in studio, Justin.
Always a pleasure when you're around.
We're gonna take a quick commercial break, but when we return,
is the WNBA finally a respectable sport? We'll talk about it when we come back.
WEST COAST COUSINS
NO WAY HOLMES
Episode Five - A Million Dreams
Narrator
As Justinmonger is leaving the ESPN Studio,
he notices someone leaning on his car.
Justinmonger
Hey, my man. Can I help you?
Damian
I'm sure you can... how about an autograph?
Justinmonger
Nah, I'm not signing no autographs right now.
But you can get off my car.
Damian
Little homie... you don't remember me, do you?
Damian
You've come a long way from
those early days with the Barksdales, running from the cops.
Hoodrat shit with your friends... like Fruitvale.
Damian
Could you imagine what could've happened if I didn't step in?
They could've shot you.
Justinmonger
Damian..?
Justinmonger
Man... I didn't recognize you.
Damian
It's been a long time.
Justinmonger
Wow... it's great to see you.
Damian
Yeah, man.
I see you're doing great things for yourself.
It's good you turned things around after I took the fall for you.
Justinmonger
I mean...
Damian
Relax. I'm teasing, Justin.
You did the right thing. You should've moved on with your life.
Damian
Look, I don't want to take up too much of your time or nothing.
I know you're a busy man, so I'm around if you wanna catch up.
Justinmonger
What are you doing right now? You hungry?
I know this Chinese spot just down the road.
Narrator
We cut to a local Chinese restaurant, New Ho King.
Damian
So... I hear you're not doing jiu jitsu anymore?
Justinmonger
Nah, I recently retired from that.
Now a days, I'm working on body building and managing others.
Damian
That's a shame. You were quite good at it.
Justinmonger
Yeah, well... shit.
You used to roll back in the day.
Damian
I did.
But I lost interest when I went away.
Something else caught my attention...
Fantasy Football.
Justinmonger
Ah... here we go.
Damian
You still talk to your cousins?
You used to play in that League, right?
The West Coast Cousins?
Justinmonger
Yeah, man. But that was just for fun.
I wasn't serious.
I don't play anymore. Besides, I don't have the time.
Damian
What if you did?
Damian
What if you had all the time in the world?
Justinmonger
What do you mean?
Damian
Damian
Time... it isn't what you think it is.
I can show you.
Damian
When I went away... I learned a lot of things.
Things you wouldn't believe.
Worlds you didn't even know existed.
Justinmonger
I'm listening...
Damian
I want to join the West Coast Cousins.
I want to play in that League.
And I want to win.
Justinmonger
You're serious about this?
Damian
Damian
I am.
I want to break the Circle of Champions.
I want to win it all.
And I want you on my side.
Justinmonger
Alright. I'll see what I can do...
But the commissioner, he's particular about having active managers.
Damian
Don't worry, I'll be active.
You just get me in the League and I'll handle the rest.
Justinmonger
Cool... you got a team name already?
Damian
I do... I call it.. Outer Heaven.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Vinpool
You know what? I'm just gonna say it.
The storyline is better than anything that Marvel could
come up with when it comes to the multiverse in the last couple of Phases..
And you know-
Kevan
You're talking to me this whole time?
Vinpool
Well, yeah? It's only the two of us.
Who else would I be talking to?
Kevan
I don't know.
Don't you like to talk to yourself? Like some kind of asshole.
Vinpool
Like some kind of asshole..?
You mean the same asshole who just saved your sorry little ass!
You're welcome! BY THE WAY!
Kevan
For what?!
I had the situation under control.
Vinpool
Under control?! Do you hear yourself?
Minhneto can manipulate METAL!
Do you know what your ENTIRE body is made out of?
I don't care how many universes are out there,
in no world did you have that under control.
If I hadn't caused a distraction... you know what?
Nevermind. I don't want to fight you.
Kevan
Good.
Vinpool
But I do have another proposal...
Kevan
Oh, God...
Vinpool
How about a team up?
You know? We could combine our Fantasy Teams.
Trade players back and forth.
Kevan
You're not fucking serious...
Vinpool
Oh, I am dead serious.
When have you known me not to be serious?
I came so close to winning a League Championship last year..
I can still taste it...
I was one game away from stealing the gold.
And let's be honest, we could both use the help this season.
Come on, think about it.
Amon St. Brown and Jonathan Taylor.
James Cook and Marvin Harrison Jr.
I need running backs and you need receivers.
This could really work out well for both of us.
Besides, we have more onscreen chemistry than Lady Gaga and Joaquin Phoenix.
And I know for a fact that we can sing better than those two assclowns.
Kevan
Pass.
Vinpool
Oh, come on!
We'd make a perfect team. Just think of all the possibilities...
Vinpool
I close my eyes and I can see...
the world that's waiting up for me...
That I call my own
Kevan
Don't start with me...
Vinpool
Through the dark, through the door
Through where no one's been before...
But it feels like home
Kevan
Stop.
Vinpool
They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy...
They can say, they can say I've lost my mind
I don't care, I don't care, so call me crazy...
We can live in a world that we desiiiiign....
Vinpool
Cause every night I lie in bed
The brightest colors fill my head
A million dreams are keeping me awake....
I think of what the world could be
A vision of the one I see
A million dreams is all it's gonna take....
Oh, a million dreams for the world we're gonna make
Kevan
Will you please shut the fuck up?
Vinpool
There's a house we can build
Every room inside is filled
With things from far away
The special things I compile
Each one there to make you smile... on a rainy day....
Vinpool
They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy
They can say, they can say we've lost our minds
I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy...
Run away in a world that we desiiiiign....
Wolverine
Every night I lie in bed...
The brightest colors fill my head
Vinpool
YES! There he is!
Let's fucking go!
Wolverine
A million dreams are keeping me awake...
I think of what the world could be
A vision of the one I see
A million dreams is all it's gonna take...
A million dreams for the world we're gonna make
Vinpool
However big, however small
Let me be part of it all
Share your dreams with me...
You may be right
Vinpool
You may be wrong
But say that you'll bring me aloooong
To the world you see....
Vinpool and Wolverine
To the world I close my eyes to see
I close my eyes to see...
Wolverine
Cause every night I lie in bed...
The brightest colors fill my head...
Vinpool
A million dreams are keeping me awake...
Wolverine
A million dreams, a million dreams...
Vinpool and Wolverine
I think of what the world could be
A vision of the one I see
A million dreams is all it's gonna take...
A million dreams for the world we're gonna maaaaaake....
....
For the world we're gonna make...
Vinpool
Wait put me down, Peanut.
Is that who I think it is?
Vinpool
Captain Covfefe? What are you doing here?
I thought you were on the run...
Tai Storm
Let me guess, Paradox sent you.
Vinpool
Paradox?
What's a Paradox?
A TVA portal appears.
B-26
Stop right there!
By orders of the Time Variance Authority,
you're all are under arrest for crimes against the Sacred Timeline.
Vinpool
Time Variance Authority?
What's going on?
Do you know what's happening?
Kevan
I don't have a fucking clue!
I just run routes.
Vinpool
Oh, great.
This is all because you fucked up the X-Men timelines with Days of Future Past
and all of those terrible Dark Phoenix films.
Don't ever hire 10 different directors when creating a film series.
Tai Storm
The TVA is recruiting Vinpools now, huh?
Well, I've been all over the timeline and I've seen a few Vinpools in my time.
I won't hesitate to kill a few more.
Vinpool
Wait, wait. I think there's a huge misunderstanding here, Cap.
I'm not here to fight you.
I don't want all of America to turn against me like they did to Colin Kaepernick.
Kevan
Speak for yourself, Vinson.
I'm here for a fight.
Vinpool
Kevan... no...
Stay.
Tai Storm
That's all I needed to hear....
Tai Storm
FLAME ON!
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Narrator
As we return to Wakanda, the defending League Champion,
The Baugh, now reigns supreme.
Having brought his Fantasy Team and followers along with him,
he has decided to rename the country Wakahndaq.
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Narrator
As we approach the midway point of the season,
The Baugh has a serious dilemma at hand.
The Black Baugh
Who should I start this week?
Darnell Mooney or Rashid Shaheed?
Kyren Williams
That's a very tough decision, sir.
On one hand, Shaheed has exploded for some big games.
But he's also put up some duds.
Mooney is also coming off a short week...
Narrator
Before Baugh can make a decision,
an explosion occurs in front of his throne.
The Black Baugh
Kyren, go see what that was.
The Black Manager emerges from the rubble.
Narrator
The Baugh stands from his throne, angrily staring at T'Vincent.
T'Vincent
BLACK BAAAAAUGH!
T'Vincent
I never yieled.
And as you can see, I am not dead...
The Black Baugh
Oh, you will be soon, boy.
Last season's whooping wasn't enough for you?
You've come back for more?
T'Vincent
This is not your land, Baugh.
The Black Baugh
I respect you, T'Vincent.
A King, willing to die for his people. Willing to die for his ancestors.
It's not very smart, but I respect it nonetheless.
Your people, they would be proud to see you fight for them.
It's too bad you'll die alone.
T'Vincent
Who said I'm alone?
Lamor the Submariner emerges from the sea.
The Black Baugh
Lamor Jackson...
Kyren Williams
Sir, he's the fastest QB in the league.
They say he has wings on his feet.
The Black Baugh
Well, he can't throw for shit.
Tyresha Hill
Doesn't matter... even if he overthrows the ball, I'll still catch it.
Tyresha Hill
The tables have turned, Black Baugh.
This time, you are outnumbered!
The hunter becomes the prey.
Tyresha Hill unveils T'Vincent's entire Fantasy Team.
Lamor comes crashing in, flooding Wakahndaq.
Baugh's Throne room is flooded as his Fantasy Team flees for cover.
The Black Baugh
Oh fuck...
The Baugh dives into the water
as he is heavily outnumbered.
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