We open with Wakanda in Earth-415.
Jordana Love
Brother, we've failed to protect Wakanda.
What will we do now that the Black Baugh has taken our homeland?
T'Vincent
We carry forward.
We continue to fight and we take back what is ours.
This land belongs to our ancestors. It belongs to us.
Jordana Love
T'Vincent... I-I don't feel okay.
I think my MCL is torn from battle.
Something doesn't feel right.. something...
Jordana Love turns into spaghetti.
Chigoziem Okonkwo
Princess!
My King! Where did she go?
She just... she just disappeared.
T'Vincent
I... do not... know.
Jordana! Jordana, can you hear me?!
Call out if you can hear my voice!
Narrator
From above, a Wakandan ship flies over.
A woman in a Black Manager suit jumps out and lands before T'Vincent.
Narrator
As she turns around, she reveals her face.
And it is none other than Jordana Love.
T'Vincent
Jordana! Where did you get that suit?
Where did you go, just now?
I thought you hurt your MCL...
Tyresha Hill-112976
Brother, it's been so long since I've seen your face.
T'Vincent
What are you talking about?
I just saw you here a minute ago...
Tyresha Hill-112976
You don't know how long I've waited to see you again.
My name is Tyresha Hill, also known as the Cheetah.
And in my world, I am the Black Manager.
I am the Black Manager.. because you passed away, brother.
T'Vincent
What? What are you talking about?
This is not a funny joke, Jordana.
Tyresha Hill-112976
It's not a joke, brother.
I am sorry to say, but I believe the Jordana Love that you know,
she is in another universe now.
The multiverse is breaking.
Variants from different timelines are crossing paths,
branches are getting pruned, and the multiverse, existence as we know it, is in grave danger.
T'Vincent
If you are who you say you are, that means you've taken the herb.
If you are a Black Manager, prove it.
Narrator
The two Black Managers display a test of power.
But neither Manager is about to overpower the other,
scoring the same exact number of Fantasy Points.
T'Vincent
You are a Black Manager... how?
Tyresha Hill-112976
There is much to explain, brother.
But I've come to your world to help you retake Wakanda.
And when we are done, I need your help in my world.
---------------------------------------------------
T'Vincent's Objective:
Take Back Wakanda (Make the Playoffs)
---------------------------------------------------
T'Vincent
If what you say is true, then two Black Managers
should be more than enough to take down the Black Baugh.
Tyresha Hill-112976
Do not underestimate the Black Baugh, brother.
He is the defending League Champion for a reason.
We'll need some assistance...
Tyresha Hill-112976
Which is why... I've brought a friend.
WEST COAST COUSINS
NO WAY HOLMES
Episode Four - Thou Shall Not Kill
????
Dr. Oppenheimer!
Wow! It is such a pleasure, come on in.
Have a seat, let's talk.
J. Robert Oppenheimer
It's a, uh, a pleasure to meet you as well.
But I have to be honest, I'm not so sure I understand why I'm here.
What does Meta want with a quantum physicist?
J. Robert Oppenheimer
Don't tell me you want to go to mars like that other guy.
Mark Zuckerberg
No! No... of course not.
None of that nonsense over here.
Instead, I have a proposal for you.
About a year ago, I was on the precipice of building something revolutionary.
A vision that would turn world peace into a reality.
A suit of armor around the world.
Mark Zuckerberg
And just when Metatron was ready to go live...
everything started to fall apart.
That damn Spiderman destroyed my life's work.
He killed Mysterio and everything I had built was gone.
J. Robert Oppenheimer
I'm failing to see where I fit in to all of this.
Mark Zuckerberg
Allow me to explain.
Dr. Oppenheimer, the Father of the Atomic Bomb.
Your work on nuclear fission was simply.. revolutionary.
But what I'm more interested in, is something you're less known for..
A chemical compound known as 'The Fear Toxin.'
J. Robert Oppenheimer
Mr. Zuckerberg, I am not particularly proud of that period of my life.
What you call the 'Fear Toxin'... I consider an abomination to mankind.
But we were at war and I had to do what was necessary to stop the Nazi's.
With all due respect, I don't think I'm the man you're looking for.
Mark Zuckerberg
You're exactly the man I'm looking for.
Listen, I'm not concerned about your political and ethical morals.
Not in the slightest.
And I'm certainly not going to waste my time and sit in this room for 3 hours,
grilling you on various topics while intense, dramatic music plays in the background.
Instead, I want to work with you.
Mark Zuckerberg
You say the 'Fear Toxin' is a biochemical compound designed for vile,
inhumane reasons.
What if we could reverse that?
Alter the Fear Toxin and produce it in mass quantities.
Use it as a deterrent that neutralizes the chemicals in the human brain
that results in psychosis, paranoia, anxiety and all forms of mental illnesses.
And for the extreme cases,
we can develop a compound that prevents serial killers and mass murderers.
Guys like the Riddler, murderers like the Joker.
Even world leaders who rule through dictatorship.
We can end wars before they even begin.
J. Robert Oppenheimer
Mr. Zuckerberg, what you're speaking of, sounds illegal.
Altering brain chemicals.. this is highly unethical.
Mark Zuckerberg
Then we make it ethical.
We can make it safe. Work with me, Robert.
We can make a difference in the world.
We can end wars and conflicts.
Hamas, Ukraine, Syria. Countless others.
We can create world peace.
J. Robert Oppenheimer
I'm not so sure I share your optimize, Mr. Zuckerberg.
Mark Zuckerberg
Do you have a better idea? What's the harm in trying?
We can make a difference, Robert.
Mark Zuckerberg
Or would you rather leave the fate of mankind in the hands
of these so-called "superheroes"?
Guys like Kendrick Stark.
What do they call him these days... the 'Father of World Peace'?
Is that right? Seriously? This asshole?
Do you know how many lives Stark has destroyed?
Do you know how many supervillains have popped up
since he announced to the world that he is MarthaMan?
Mark Zuckerberg
Stark wanted to be the man who moved the earth.
A narcissistic, self absorbed egomaniac.
He talks about putting the superhero genie back in the bottle,
well, I know Kendrick Stark.
And if he could do it all over, he'd do it all the same.
Do you know that he's never once said that he regrets Sokovia?
He's never once apologized for Damar Hamlin?
He'd do it all over, why?
Because it made him the most important Fantasy Manager who ever lived.
But I don't have to tell you, Dr. Oppenheimer.
I've read your file.
I know you've had your own run-ins with Mr. Stark.
Bernie Sanders
Mr. Stark, if you could respond to a report here from Dr. Oppenheimer,
directly opposing your view of MarthaMan as a nuclear deterrent.
Here in paragraph 3 on Page 63 of his report, he goes on to say that your work as MarthaMan
poses more of a threat than any nuclear weapon on the planet.
Do you understand the gravity of Dr. Oppenheimer's statements here?
Kendrick Stark
Gravity? No. I'm no Galileo, senator.
I'm just a billionaire genius who happens to know more about
weapons of mass destruction than anyone in this room, including Dr. Oppenheimer.
Bernie Sanders
Mr. Stark, Dr. Oppenheimer is one of the greatest scientists of our time...
Kendrick Stark
One of the greatest scientists of his time, maybe.
If it is to be said, senator.
Listen, no offense to Dr. Scarecrow over there.
That's what the Nazi's called him, right?
But the reality is Dr. Oppenheimer
is out of touch with the technology of the 21st century.
Kendrick Stark
The work that Martha Industries is doing, is putting us ahead of the curve.
If we don't continue to innovate and build new technology,
then the real threat is out there.
If the scientific community doesn't support me, that's fine.
They can build their own metal suits and try to save the world.
They're welcome to try.
Kendrick Stark
What Dr. Oppenheimer did was revolutionary for his time.
We thank him for his service.
But I'm of the belief that Captain Covfefe could've ended the war himself
if the US government let him.
With respect, Dr. Oppenheimer doesn't have the slightest clue
about modern warfare in the 21st century.
We're talking about artificial intelligence, nanotechnology,
proxy wars.
I'm not interested in the opinion of a someone who was relevant
around the same time that they invented color television.
Kendrick Stark
He invented the atomic bomb, that's great.
I invented an entirely new chemical element.
They had to print new periodic tables because of me.
There is no comparison here.
Dr. Oppenheimer's words have no baring on the reality of the situation
and my supposed "threat" to society.
I've redefined the definition of nuclear deterrent.
So Dr. Oppenheimer and the scientific community can go to bed easy,
because quite frankly, I'm doing their job for them.
You're welcome!
J. Robert Oppenheimer
Don't think I don't see what you're doing here, Mr. Zuckerberg.
Mark Zuckerberg
And what am I doing, Robert?
J. Robert Oppenheimer
I'll work with you, Mr. Zuckerberg.
But on one condition. I'll need some scientists.
Mark Zuckerberg
Already got them.
J. Robert Oppenheimer
You're hiring scientists now?
Mark Zuckerberg
No. But we are thinking bigger.
Meta has partnered with chemical manufacturing company.
You made have heard of them.
Oscorp.
*Commercial*
Christopher Parker-1965
Minhneto
But alas, you keep standing in my way of a League Championship.
And it's time I put an end to it all...
Minhneto
Go to hell, Kevan.
From out of nowhere,
we see Vinpool flying in, guns blazing.
Vinpool
Ugnh!
How's that for a fucking superhero landing?
Vinpool
Well, well, well, if it isn't the Master of Magnetism, Minhneto.
The same Minhneto that had his season ended last year by yours truly,
with the help of some plastic bullets.
You know, you should really be careful.
Those microplastics can be a real bitch.
Or at least that's what the internet tells me.
I don't actually know, to be honest.
Minhneto
No. Not the same Minhneto.
Before you, stands a deadlier, more powerful Minhneto.
A Fantasy Manager destined to win it all.
A Fantasy Manager who will not tolerate mediocrity any longer.
And by the looks of it, it seems you've taken a tremendous step back from last season.
The Championship hangover strikes again.
Vinpool
I'll admit, your team looks better on paper.
But what I can't seem to wrap my head around... you auto drafted the same as me.
Yet somehow, my Yahoo Logic seemed to have failed me.
I have a conspiracy that someone messed with my team..
But damnit, it's my fault!
I knew I shouldn't have went drinking with Turtle.
It never ends the way that I intend.
Vinpool
Regardless, I'm not worried about your team.
Because at the end of the day, it's still the same manager mismanaging his team.
And I think it's about time I picked up my first win...
Come on! Maximum effort!
Minhneto
Always with the mouth...
Enough talk.
Minhneto hurls metal towards Vinson.
Derrick Henry scores 29.40 with 2 rushing touchdowns.
Vinpool
Oh shit...
Vinpool ducks for cover as
Las Vegas defense nets him -2.00 points.
Vinpool
WAIT! WAIT!
Timeout! I wasn't ready...
Gosh, setting up your lineup for Thursday is a real hassle sometimes.
Minhneto
There are no timeouts in war.
Vinpool
Umm... yeah, you're right.
There isn't.
I was just distracting you, you big turd blossom!
SNIKT
Winner via Pinfall:
Undertaker
Narrator
Kevan improves to 2-1 as he wins 96.82 - 81.88.
He has now won back to back weeks and improves to 6th place.
Meanwhile Minhneto loses his first game of the season, dropping to 5th place.
Vinpool
Oh my fuck!
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Earth-1887
Narrator
We return to Earth-1887,
two years after the death of Kevan's wife, Maureen.
Narrator
With Alfred Pennyworth's magic show now dissolved,
we find Alexander Wayne performing magic on his own.
Alexander Wayne-1887
Metal rings.
Solid metal.
*Crowd Boos*
Crowd
We've seen this one before!
Earth-1965
Narrator
In Earth-1965, it has been a year since
Christopher Parker joined the church's Fantasy League.
Since that time, Christopher Parker has lost all of his buy-in money.
With a financial burden and the passing of his Aunt May,
Christopher Parker finds himself in 10th place, desperate to save his season.
Christopher Parker-1965
Excuse me, Preacher.
You got time for a sinner?
Christopher Parker-1965
I've been doing wrong, and I want to get right by the Lord.
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
Well that's what I'm here for.
Christopher Parker-1965
I've done... regrettable things.
Drugs. Partying. Gambling.
Lying. Stealing.
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
Yeah. That can be a big problem.
Especially for the young people.
Go on, tell me about it.
Christopher Parker-1965
I gathered a group of my friends.
Started myself a Fantasy Football League...
I told 'em I'd organize it and collect the prize money.
Christopher Parker-1965
I even told them a portion of the pot would go to charity.
You know? For a good cause.
But little did they know... I kept that portion to myself.
Earth-1887
Alexander Wayne pulls out a pistol and aims it at the audience.
Alexander Wayne-1887
Alright... you've seen it all before.. eh?
How about this one?
This is what you came for, is it?
Alexander Wayne-1887
Who wants to volunteer?
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
These, uh, friends of yours.
They ever find out what you did with the money?
Christopher Parker-1965
No, they never found out about it.
And you know, I started realizing how easy it was to steal.
So I started ripping people off some more.
Christopher Parker-1965
One time, I even ruined a kid's whole season.
Told him to draft Christian McCaffrey, knowing damn well he'd never play.
Then I lied, and told him that any money that I didn't spend in the draft,
would get carried over to their FAAB.
But this wasn't true.
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
What in the hell boy...
A volunteer places a bullet inside Wayne's gun.
Alexander Wayne-1887
Are you man enough, sir?
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
Are you spying on me?
Narrator
Parker pulls a gun on Pastor Wayne.
The Great Kevan
Yes.
Narrator
We see Kevan disguised as the volunteer.
Narrator
Alexander Wayne quickly realizes his mistake.
The Great Kevan has come for revenge.
The Great Kevan-1887
Which knot did you tie, Alex?
Christopher Parker-1965
I've been watching your every move for the past year.
You're running an illegal gambling operation.
And you're stealing money from the church.
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
You're Ms. Parker's boy.
Christopher Parker-1965
Nephew.
And I was. She's gone now.
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
Alright now, don't do anything you're gonna regret, son.
The Great Kevan
I said.. which knot did you tie?
Alexander Wayne-1887
I don't know.
Christopher Parker-1965
It's your fault she's gone.
My Aunt May, she was everything to me.
She taught me, that with great power, comes great responsibility.
And you have the responsibility, as Pastor of this church.. to be a good man.
But you hurt my Aunt May.
You embarrassed her in front of all her peers and she lost her confidence.
She became afraid to show her face in the community,
She became recluse and her health deteriorated.
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
What are you talking about, boy?
I didn't do nothing to your aunt.
Christopher Parker-1965
The chicken liver dish.
You made her look like a fool in front of all them church goers.
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
The chicken livers? What on earth are you talking about kid?
Oh...? That dish? You're still on about that?
Her dish was disgusting. It was vile.
Nobody likes them organs.
Parker cocks the weapon back.
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
Goddamnit!
Easy, boy.
Christopher Parker-1965
You're a liar and a cheat.
A conman. You ain't no preacher.
Alexander Wayne-1887
I don't know, Kevan.
I'm sorry.
Narrator
Kevan fires the weapon.
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
I ain't do nothing, man!
I built my team fair and square..
Narrator
In a moment of desperation, Pastor Wayne throws a bible at Parker.
And as an act of instinct, Christopher fires his gun!
Pastor Alex Wayne-1965
Please... God!
Please...
Gwen Kelce
Chris! Don't!
Narrator
Parker shoots Pastor Wayne in the chest, killing him.
Winner via Pinfall:
DB University
DB University
DB University wins 104.64 - 82.58.
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