West Coast Cousins Fantasy Football: WCC Week 1 Recap: The Hunt Begins

Week 1 kicks off with the playing of our National Anthem.

Several players and coaches decide to kneel during the anthem, including Coach Covfefe.

We cut to the field as Jim Ross introduces us to our announcement.

Jim Ross

Good evening folks and welcome to Week 1 in the XFL.

I'm good ole JR, alongside my broadcast partner Jerry "The King" Lawler and we're about ready for some Fantasy Football action.

We're done with Wrestling for now and onto some good old honest pigskin.

Our sideline reporter Xzibit has more.

Xzibit

Thanks JR.

You already know what it is.

This ya boy X to the Z and here at West Coast Cousins,

we like to kick it up a notch.

That's why we're Pimping Your Fantasy League.

Xzibit

We heard you like Fantasy Football.

So we put a Fantasy Football storyline inside your Fantasy Football League.

So you can read about Fantasy Football, while you play Fantasy Football!

Xzibit

Back to you, JR.

Xzibit out!

Jim Ross

Well that was informative.

We now go down to the field as Mr. McMahon is about to introduce the world to the XFL.

Vince McMahon

It has been said that anything can happen here in the West Coast Cousins.

But now, more than ever, truer words have never been spoken.

This is a conscious effort on our part to dumb down the material, so to speak.

In order to relieve our writers from a more exhaustive creative experience.

Even though we call ourselves Fantasy Entertainment because of the athleticism involved in adding and dropping players, the keyword in that phrase is entertainment.

The WCC extends beyond the strict confines of Wrestling Storylines.

We in the WCC think that you the audience are quite frankly tired of having your intelligence insulted. We also think that you are tired of the same old Wrestling storylines for the past 4 years.

Surely the era of "Know Your Role and Shut Your Mouth" is definitely passe.

Therefore, we've embarked on a far less innovative, contemporary campaign that is far less invigorating and extemporaneous than ever before.

However, this season will serve as a stepping stone that will help bridge the gap into a far bigger storyline.

This is a piece of the puzzle that will lead us to culmination of Phase 3.

With that said, if you want Wrestling Storylines...

Well...

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT!

Vince McMahon

WELCOME...

to the..

XFFFFFFFFFFL!

Stealthy's Team (The Coyotes)

vs.

howard's Team (The Muddogs)

Mud dog's star running back LeSean McCoy tears up the Coyote defense, breaking loose for 110 rush yards and 49 receiving.

Coyote's Coach Stealthy cannot believe his team is getting manhandled by last season's last place finisher.

Fans

Well I'll be damned.

Mud Dogs might actually win a game this season.

Howard's team celebrates as the Mud Dogs appear to have defeated former scoring Champion, Stealthy.

The Fantasy Players, however, refuse to slap hands with their Fantasy Manager, Howard.

The Winner via Scoring More Fantasy Points:

The Muddogs

Jim Ross

A shocking upset by the Mud Dogs, King.

Stealthy has been a strong Fantasy Manager these past 3 seasons, but they will start the season 0-1 having loss to the Inactive Mud Dogs.

The King

Shocking indeed, JR.

I think we're in for a few more surprises here in Week 1.

Maybe the Mud Dogs will be the Cinderella story of this season?

Last year's Average Jen's made it all the way to the Finals.

Can the Mud Dogs shock the Fantasy World?

Rock's Team (The Flames)

vs.

Covfefe (Permian Panthers)

Carson Palmer gets the start over Jameis Winston who has been sidelined due to #7StormsComing, Palmer struggles as he throws 3 INTs against a team that has been training for basketball.

Luckily for Coach Covfefe, Kareem Hunt could be the steal of the draft with a league high 40.60 Fantasy Points.

Winner via Scoring More Fantasy Points:

The Permian Panthers

Jim Ross

The Flames drop their first game of the season, but we still have a long road ahead.

Can the Flames bounce back next week?

The King

Yeah, if those idiots start practicing to play football, maybe they'll have a chance, JR!

Mean Machine (Mean Machine)

vs.

Sarcastaball (The Little Giants)

With Andrew Luck out indefinitely, Carson Wentz gets the nod.

Will the drafting of Andrew Luck derail Mean Machine's season?

Or can Carson Wentz pick up the pieces?

Marcus Mariota will start opposite Wentz as these two young QBs duel to start Week 1.

Tyreek Hill dominates the Mean Machine secondary, going for 19.80 points giving Sarcastaball the victory.

Winner via Scoring More Fantasy Points:

The Little Giants

Minh's Team (The Outlaws)

vs.

#7StormsComing (The Mustangs)

And here comes the San Antonio Outlaws!

Led by Coach Minh, the Outlaws are looking to pick up a Week 1 win.

But standing in their way, The Mustangs!

Led by The Baugh.

Not only does Ezekiel Elliot beat the suspension, but he beats The Baugh's defense going for 104 yards on the ground.

Winner via Scoring More Fantasy Points:
The Outlaws

A narrow 67-63 victory gives Minh and the Outlaws a 1-0 record to start out the year.

Make FF Great Again (Thundering Herd)

vs.

Justin's Team (The Average Justin's)

The Thundering Herd make their return to the WCC and they'll be facing the New Face of Inactivity, the Average Justin's.

And it appears the Average Justin's forgot to bench Odell Beckham Jr.

A rookie mistake, starting Sterling Shepard would've won him the game.

Not a good look for the Inactives.

Winner via Stupidity:

The Thundering Herd

MakeFFGreatAgain escapes with the victory, but he'll be facing the Mean Machine next week and they'll be sure not to make such a simple mistake in Week 2.

WCC Championship Game

Dak Street Boys (The Sharks)

vs.

MadeWCCGreatAgain (T.C. Titans)