West Coast Cousins Fantasy Football: WCCF Preview Week 14: FantasyMania Round 1

WCCF Preview is live as the camera pans across the crowd in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

Michael Cole welcomes us to Week 14.

[Cole]

We are just 4 nights away from the start of FantasyMania!

A star studded lineup of the season's best Fantasy Managers.

Who will win this Sunday in Round 1 and advance one step closer to becoming WCCF League Champion!

[1] Stone Cold Steve Pupstin (9-4)

[2] Vane (8-5)

[3] Nick Foley (8-5)

[4] The Baugh (8-5)

[5] SC Lesnar (7-6)

[6] The Underchucker (6-7)

[Cole]
When you look up and down the Playoff roster, you've got nothing but the very best the WCCF has to offer. One of these 6 Superstars WILL be the 2014 WCCF League Champion.

[King]
2014? Don't you mean 1998?

[Cole]
What are you talking about, Jerry?
Did you hit your head or something? It's 2014!

[King]
Huh?
Whatever Michael.
Regardless, this may be the most highly anticipated FantasyMania of all time!
Six of the league's premier Superstars going head to head to determine who will be this season's Champion!
I can't wait, Michael.

Jim Ross's music hits as the Okalhoma crowd gets on their feet.

[King]

Ah! It's JR, Michael!

[Cole]

What's this dinosaur doing out here?

Doesn't he know that I'm the Voice of the WCCF now!

[JR]

Thank you for that warm Oklahoma City ovation!

*Crowd Cheers*

[King]

What a great crowd we have here in Oklahoma, Michael!

This city definitely deserves a basketball team one day.

[Cole]

Eh, it's just a town full of hillbillies and hicks.

They'll never have a good basketball team in this town.

[JR]

At this time, I would like to invite Michael Cole to join me in the center of this ring.

[King]

He's calling for you Michael!

Get on up there!

Jim Ross shakes Cole's hand.

[JR]

Michael, I've been sitting at home for the past couple of weeks ever since you were promoted to my job. And I've been watching Preview and I gotta say..

I'm not too thrilled about the prospect of you calling FantasyMania.

Just because you invented the phrase "WCCF Universe" and you got a fruity little mustache, doesn't mean you can call a match to save your life!

*Crowd Cheers*

[JR]

And for weeks, I've been hearing you call yourself the Voice of the WCCF.

To be quite frank with you, I think your commentary absolutely sucks.

*Crowd Cheers*

[JR]

I mean, how were you planning on calling FantasyMania?

Vintage Stone Cold! Vintage Stone Cold!

That's not how you do it, you summabitch.

It's... STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

STONE COLD WALKING TALL AND TAKING NAMES!

JIM ROSS! JIM ROSS OPENING UP A CAN OF WHOOP ASS ON MICHAEL COLE!

Jim Ross suddenly kicks Michael Cole in the nuts and Cole goes down!

*Crowd Cheers*

[King]

Welcome back, JR!

I was getting tired of that idiot, Michael Cole.

I hope I won't ever have to work with him again.

[JR]

It feels great to be back, King.

Now let's get on to FantasyMania!

The Baugh's music hits to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

[The Baugh]

Shane McMahon.. last Sunday at Massacre, when you decided to stab The Baugh in the back..

You only succeeded in doing one thing.

And that's piss The Baugh off.

*Crowd Cheers*

[The Baugh]

Jabroni, you cost The Baugh the Championship but now The Baughma Bull is headed to FantasyMania with one thing in mind.

And that's to check you and the entire Corporation straight into the Smackdown Hotel!

*Crowd Cheers*

[The Baugh]

So Shane McMahon, you can send whoever you want.

Any one of your Corporate cronies because The Baugh is hoping.

No, The Baugh is wishing. No, no, no.

The Baugh is demanding that you send one of those jabronis to interfere in my match this Sunday at FantasyMania.

Because then The Corporation can get a little parting gift from The Baugh.

Which is, his fist in your mouth and his foot in your ass!

IF YA SMELL...

The glass breaks and down comes #1 Seed Stone Cold Steve Pupstin.

The Baugh stares down Pupstin.

[JR]

These are certainly no love lost between these two individuals.

Both Superstars competing to become this year's WCCF League Champion.

[Pupstin]

Let me get this straight off the bat.

For weeks on end, you've been hiding behind the Corporate coat tails.

Talking about Corporate Champion this... Corporate Elbow that..

In my eyes, you'll always be some punk kid spitting out nursery rhymes who sold out to become WCCF Champion!

*Crowd Cheers*

[Pupstin]

And now you expect me to believe that you've become a saint.

That just because Shane McMahon screwed you over for the WCCF Championship, like I'm supposed forget the past few weeks before that when Shane McMahon helped your sorry ass win the damn title.

And if you were standing here WCCF Champion, you wouldn't still be kissing the McMahon Family's ass!

[Pupstin]

Let Stone Cold make one thing perfectly clear, Baugh.

I don't like you.

As far as Stone Cold is concerned, you're just another piece of trash that's standing in Stone Cold's way of becoming WCCF League Champion!

Shane McMahon's music plays.

[King]

We've got company!

[Shane]

Isn't that cute?

Look at the two of you.

You can't get along.

You wanna tear each other's heads off.

You make each other sick to their stomachs.

[Shane]

And you know what?

That's absolutely perfect.

You know what?

Because tonight, you two will be in tag team action!

The Baugh, fresh off losing the WCCF Championship to the Underchucker and just four nights away from his return to FantasyMania.

And Stone Cold, less than 2 weeks removed from being run over by a car.

[Shane]

You see Stone Cold, there is no chance in hell you are going to the main event of FantasyMania.

Because while you do have the night off this Sunday... you certainly don't have the night off tonight.

Dr. James Andrews has cleared you to play Fantasy Football.. and tonight you will team up with The Baugh. And your opponents will be...

Nick Foley and Vane!

[Shane]

Can't you see Baugh and Stone Cold.

My plan is getting bigger and better as we speak..

The arena lights go out.

[JR]

Wait a minute...

that's the WCCF Champion, the Underchucker.

And he's standing side by side with Shane McMahon.

[Shane]

Are you beginning to understand?

Are you beginning to feel the power?

Well let me help spell it out for you.. just a little bit more.

[JR]

Wait a minute.. there's Single H!

Paul Bearer.

[King]

It's The Corporation and The Minhistry of Darkness!

[JR]

My god, King.

Have they joined forces?!

[King]

What's going on?!

What does this mean?

What has Shane engineered here?

[Shane]

Pupstin, Baugh.

Let me be the first to introduce you to...

The Corporate Minhistry!

[JR]

Oh no.. what has Shane done?!

[King]

He's created a monster, JR!

[Shane]
You two better get it together.. and change your strategy!

*Commercial*

WCCF Preview returns and Shane McMahon is still standing in the ring.

[Shane]

Oh yes...

Welcome back to WCCF Preview!

Now as you all know, my father Vince McMahon is currently back home in Connecticut with the family tending to my dear sister, Stephaneah. Which means... I am in sole control of the WCCF!

And since I'm running the show, I think it's only fair that I, Shane McMahon, receive more camera time!

[Crowd]

ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!

[JR]

What a pompous ass!

Shane McMahon, the spoiled son of Vince McMahon.

Are you telling me Shane McMahon orchestrated the kidnapping of his sister, Stephaneah McMahon?

How could he side with the Underchucker!

[Shane]
How can it be more clear?
There is can only be one World Champion.
And it's never been more obvious who that'll be!
With the combined power of The Corporation and the Minhistry of Darkness..
The Underchucker is primed to be the next WCCF League Champion!

*Crowd Boos*

The season's longest reigning WCCF Champion, Nick Foley, makes his way out to ringside to a loud pop.

[Foley]

Shane.. much of the last few weeks have been a total blur to me.

Despite securing the #3 Seed in the Playoffs..

it hasn't come without a price.

I've gone through quarterback after quarterback.

First it was RGIII then it was Nick Foles.. and now it's RGIII again.

I've had to scrape through the bottom of the barrel to find a quarterback to lead my team..

And now I've settled on Eli Manning because In Manning We Trust!

I've suffered a torn patella tendon.. I've been thrown off cages...

I've been beat and battered.

But Shane, there's just one thing that I haven't done.

And that's quit.

[Foley]

You see Shane, a few weeks ago I was put in an "I Quit" Match with The Baugh.

Your "Corporate Champion" and no matter how badly The Baugh beat me...

I did not utter the words... I Quit.

So how can it be? That I ended up losing the match, can you answer me there, Shane?

Chair shot after chair shot.. I don't remember the ending of that match.

All I recall is waking up in a pool of my own blood and hearing The Baugh's crappy little theme music.

So if I wasn't conscious during the ending of the match, I couldn't have said I Quit.

So through a careful analysis of the match, my friends at the USA Network called their buddies from CSI and they determined that the words "I Quit" came from a pre-taped recording of a promo that I cut the week before!

Nick Foley sucker punches Shane in the head with the microphone, dropping McMahon.

[Foley]

So you see, therefore, The Baugh shouldn't have walked out of Taboo Tuesday, WCCF Champion.

I should've!

Nick Foley grabs Shane and puts him in an arm lock!

[Foley]

I'll break your damn arms, Shane!

Say I quit!

[Shane]

AHHH AHHH!!!

I QUIT! I QUIT!

[Foley]
Oh, Shane... that's not good enough.
Knowing how much of a coward you are, I knew you would quit so easily.
So now I want more!
I want a shot at the WCCF Champion, the Underchucker!
Winner not only takes the WCCF Championship..
but the winner advances to the next round of FantasyMania!

[Shane]
Okay! Okay! AHHH
You got it! Just let me go!

Foley lets go and gets back to his feet.

[Foley]

You see Underchucker, everyone in this league may be afraid of you.

But I may have been dropped on my head as a child... because fear?

Well.. I just don't know what that is.

The Underchucker appears on the titantron.

[Underchucker]

Nick Foley...

The face of the Lord is against evildoers,

To cut off memory of them from earth.

Foley, this Sunday at FantasyMania...

You will bow down to the Lord of Darkness or

you suffer the consequences of a thousand men.

[Underchucker]

Take heed from your Lord and Savior so that the thing spoken of the prophets may not come upon you.

You have just signed your death certificate.

In Peyton Manning We Trust.

Hahahahahahaha

[Foley]

Well I look forward to it, Underchucker!

Have a nice day!

---------------------------------------

Backstage Segment

We cut backstage where Michael Cole is set to interview former League Champion SC Lesnar.

[Cole]

SC Lesnar, as the only former League Champion in the WCCF Playoffs, do you feel that you are the favorite to win it all?

[SC Lesnar]

Am I the favorite?

What kind of stupid question is that.

I've been waiting ever since my FantasyMania victory 2 seasons ago.. to get back to this stage.

To remind everyone just how dangerous I can be.

Once again, I am being overlooked.

All the attention this season has been on other Superstars.

But once again, I will beat whoever they put in front of me.

And I will capture my second World Championship.

[Cole]

Your opponent this Sunday, The Baugh.

The two of you have been intertwined now for the past few seasons.

Last season, both of you failed to make it to the Playoffs, taking each other out in the process.

And just two seasons ago, you and The Baugh headlined FantasyMania.

What's changed from then until now?

[SC Lesnar]

What's changed is I've become a better Fantasy Manager.

I have still yet to reach my peak here in the WCCF.

I've won one title, but I'm hungry for more.

The Baugh? Well I kicked his ass two seasons ago and I showed the world that I am the best Manager alive. They said I'm not a true sports fan.

That I haven't been watching sports as long as the Stone Colds, Baughs, Rock Michaels and Kurt Crabbles of the league..

But I beat them all.

I conquered them all.

And this season? I'm gonna do it again.

[Cole]

Paul, what do you have to say about SC Lesnar's matchup against a top end Superstar like The Baugh.

[Heyman]

Top end Superstar?

Michael, I find it offensive.

Offensive that you even think that The Baugh is anywhere near the caliber of SC Lesnar.

SC Lesnar is a former League Champion.

The only remaining WCCF Superstar in the Playoffs with that accolade on their resume.

The Baugh isn't even in the same class as SC Lesnar.

And let's be honest here.

Without Shane McMahon's assistance earlier this season, The Baugh wouldn't be in the Playoffs.

The Baugh has THE lowest scoring total of any team this season.

There should be no question who wins this match on Sunday.

[Heyman]

Michael, you just watch.

Because I've got a special treat for you and the entire WCCF Universe.

*Commercial*

Backstage Segment

We return live to WCCF Preview and we now find Michael Cole once again, conducting an interview with the Owner of the WCCF, Vince McMahon.

[Cole]

Mr. McMahon, first of all, we at the WCCF would like to send our best wishes to Stephaneah McMahon and we are glad to hear that she's been returned safely to you.

[McMahon]

Thank you Michael.

[Cole]

Now Mr. McMahon, I'm not sure if you've been following your league, but earlier today, your son Shane announced the formation of The Corporate Minhistry. And with you out of action, your son Shane holds all of the power in his hands. With his alliance with the Underchucker, how does it feel knowing that Shane has aligned himself with Stephaneah's abductors?

[McMahon]

Well Michael, I have not been following the program.

All of my time and effort has been spent with my family.

As far as Shane goes, he can run the show as he see's fit.

I'm not there to tell him what to do.

And before I jump to conclusions, I'm not ready to make a judgement call on the actions of my son.

If he truly has aligned himself with the Underchucker, the proper course of action will take place upon my return to WCCF.

[Cole]

What is your relationship with Stone Cold Steve Pupstin?

[McMahon]

I asked Stone Cold for his help a few weeks ago.

I was ready to bury the hatchet with Stone Cold.

To be the bigger man and put ego aside.

To put the past behind us.

To show that he had a heart and to help save my daughter, Stephaneah.

Stone Cold, however, made it perfectly clear that he wasn't ready to do that.

And as a result, I have no relationship with Stone Cold.

As far as I am concerned, Stone Cold can go to hell!

[Cole]

Well how do you feel about Stone Cold's chances going into FantasyMania?

Knowing that he is the #1 Seed securing the first round bye.

[McMahon]

PUPSTIN GETS A BYE?!

------------------------------

Tag Team Match

Nick Foley & Vane vs. Stone Cold & The Baugh

Vane and Nick Foley make their way down to the ring.

Next out is The Baugh followed by Stone Cold.

Vane and Baugh square off. A potential Playoff matchup.

Pupstin tags in.

Stomping a mudhole on Vane!

Chokeslam by Vane!

The Baugh in to save the match.

Uh oh! But here comes The Corporate Minhistry!

The Corporate Minhistry invade the ring and start attacking everyone in it.

Underchucker hammering away at his opponent this Sunday, Nick Foley.

Underchucker going after Pupstin now.

And SC Lesnar comes from out of no where and hits The Baugh with an F-5!

The Baugh may have been too distracted on the Corporate Minhistry, has he overlooked Santa Clara Lesnar?

Is that why he picked up Johnny Manziel and inserted him into the starting line up?

Will he realize that Manziel is not the starter heading into Sunday?

Or does SC Lesnar have The Baugh's number?

Elsewhere, Nick Foley has been beaten down at the hands of the Corporate Minhistry.
Foley will get the first shot at taking down the entity known as the Corporate Minhistry.
Will Foley rise up with Eli Manning to take down Peyton and the Corporate Minhistry?
Or is the Underchucker's momentum just too much for the second year Superstar?