West Coast Cousins Fantasy Football: WCCF Week 13 Preview: Thanksgiving Day Massacre

WCCF Preview kicks off with a shot of Mr. McMahon addressing the Underchucker.

[Mr. McMahon]

Last night during the Taboo Tuesday Pay Per View, my daughter Stephaneah McMahon was kidnapped.

Taken against her will by the man only known as the Underchucker.

I don't know what the Underchucker wants and I haven't heard from him in the past 24 hours.

I'm not sure if the Underchucker will show up here tonight on Wednesday Night Preview..

But if you're watching this Underchucker...

Please... return my daughter to me safe and sound.

[Mr. McMahon]

I'll do whatever you want.

Whatever ransom I may have to pay..

Whatever demands you want.

Please Underchucker. Get in touch with me and let me know what you want.

[Mr. McMahon]

Now, in the event that the Underchucker doesn't return Stephaneah to me..

I want to send a message to a Fantasy Superstar that can help me.

Stone Cold Steve Pupstin.

I know you're not particularly fond of me, and to be quite honest, that feeling is mutual.

But this isn't about me and you.

This is about helping another man in need.

Helping an innocent child, my daughter.

Man to man, Pupstin... I hope you can understand what I am going through.

I need you Pupstin.

Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Pupstin.

[Mr. McMahon]

I don't know what else to do.

Stone Cold... you've beaten Underchucker before.

You know how to stop him.

In the event that the Underchucker shows up here tonight..

Pupstin, I'm asking you, as a father, to help me save my daughter.

The camera fades and we are brought to ringside where Michael and and Jerry "The King Lawler" welcome us to Week 13.

[Cole]

Well you heard it from the horse's mouth.

Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Pupstin.

We'll keep you updated on the abduction of Stephaneah McMahon all night long as we wait to hear from local authorities and the possibility of the Underchucker arriving here tonight with the Minhistry of Darkness.

[King]

This is crazy Michael, I don't think I've ever seen anything like this before!

[Cole]

I have King, it was on an episode of Monday Night Raw.

But regardless, the show must goes on.

After securing a victory last night on Taboo Tuesday, Vane clinched a Playoff spot and is now going to FantasyMania!

[King]

That means there is only one playoff spot left!

Who will take the final spot?!

The suspense is killing me!

[Cole]

We'll find out this Sunday at WCCF Thanksgiving Day Massacre as we have a scheduled Triple Threat Match between Kurt Crabble, Rock Michaels and Chris Waiting to determine who will clinch the final playoff spot!

Now we go live to Josh Matthews who is standing with the current points leader, Chris Waiting!

[Matthews]
Ladies and gentlemen, joining me at this time...
Chris Waiting!

*Crowd Boos*

[Matthews]
Chris, if the season ended today, you would be going to FantasyMania.
The standings have you currently in 6th place and in the driver's seat this Sunday at Massacre.
Win and you're in.
But competing against you are two WCCF Superstars who are just as desperate as you are to go to FantasyMania, WCCF Veteran Kurt Crabble and last season's Champion, Rock Michaels.
What's going through your mind heading into Sunday?

[Waiting]
More desperate than I am?
Josh, look at my face.
Look how serious I am.
These other two guys don't want that playoff spot more than I do.
I'm the League's Points Leader.
I am the first Undisputed WCCF Champion in League history.

[Waiting]
I've beaten Crabble before.
Back in Week 8 when he jumped to a 65 point lead against yours truly.
And how did I respond?
Ben Roethlisberger 44.78 points!
Kurt Crabble can't touch me!

[Waiting]

And Rock Michaels, the guy who trained me and brought me into this league.

He beat me in Week 6... but only by a mere 0.38 points.

I'm ready for Rock Michaels.

I know his every move and this Sunday..

I'm going to FantasyMania!

The camera now cuts to Stone Cold Steve Pupstin who is just arriving to the arena.

[Cole]

Stone Cold, if I may have a word with you.

I'm not sure if you've seen the show earlier, but Vince McMahon issued a statement regarding the kidnapping of his daughter, Stephaneah McMahon.

In his statement, he requested that you, Stone Cold Steve Pupstin, help save his daughter.

[Pupstin]

Yeah I watched the broadcast.

I saw what Vince said.

But I got a question for you, Michael Cole.

Weren't you just by ringside? How the hell did you make it to the back so quickly?

[Cole]

Well Pupstin..

[Pupstin]

Ah, shut up you dumb son of a bitch!

As far as Vince McMahon is concerned...

He wants Stone Cold to help him out?

For the past 13 weeks, Vince McMahon has done nothing but make my life a living hell.

Now he wants my help?

Well, Michael Cole, to be quite honest with ya..

Stone Cold is conflicted on the matter.

On one hand, knowing my history with Vince McMahon..

Having been screwed over time and time again,

Stone Cold could give a rat's ass about Vince McMahon's problems!

But on the other hand, why should Stephaneah McMahon pay for the sins of that piece of trash, Vince McMahon?

CM PUP walks in.

*Crowd Cheers*

[Pupstin]

CM PUP

[CM PUP]

Stone Cold Steve Pupstin

[CM PUP]
I hope you're not seriously considering helping Vince out.
Because if you do, you'll ruin the future of the league.

[Pupstin]

What are you talking about?
John Seana said that in order to change the future, Stephaneah McMahon and Single H can't meet.
They've already met.
There is no changing the future.

[CM PUP]

That's not true.
The future can still be saved.
Last night? When the Underchucker abducted Stephaneah McMahon..
Well he gave us a new opportunity to change the future.
You see Steve, what's supposed to happen..
You're supposed to go out there tonight and save Stephaneah.
But saving her, doesn't change the timeline.
It keeps us on course for events that will take place in the future that will ultimately destroy the WCC.

[Pupstin]

What are you trying to say? You want me to just sit back and do nothing?

[CM PUP]

That's exactly what I want you to do, Steve.
Let the Underchucker sacrifice Stephaneah McMahon.

[Pupstin]
Let me get this straight, PUP.
You want me to watch the Underchucker sacrifice another human being?
Live on national television?
An innocent woman.

[CM PUP]

Stephaneah is far from innocent, Steve.
If you go out there and you save her, all you'll be doing is screwing yourself over in the future.
But if you let her die...
Well Steve, you'll set in motion something that will change the landscape of the WCCF forever.

[Pupstin]

Oh, is that a fact?

Is this about changing the league for the good, PUP?

Or is this all about you?

Winning the WCCF League Championship and doing whatever it takes to win at all costs.

[CM PUP]

No, Steve. It's not all about me.

But I know how badly you want to win the League Championship.

You know how I know?

Because I'm you.

It's the one accolade that has eluded you all these years in the league.

But if you save Stephaneah tonight..

You'll never achieve that goal.

So please.... Steve, we need you to hope again.

*Commercial*

[Grisham]
Rock Michaels, last season you won it all.
The WCCF League Championship.
If you want any shot at defending that title and repeating this season..
You'll have to beat both Kurt Crabble and Chris Waiting.
What is the game plan heading into Sunday?

[Michaels]
Game plan?
Well to put it simply, I need to score a lot of points.
My chances of going to FantasyMania are low.
But that doesn't deter me from the task I have at hand this Sunday.
All I have to do is make it to FantasyMania and anything can happen.
Last season, I was an underdog in all my FantasyMania matches, but I made it happen.
They call Mr. FantasyMania.

[Michaels]
And what is FantasyMania without Mr. FantasyMania?
Todd, this Sunday at Massacre, I'm gonna give it my all.
Because my season is on the line.
So that's my game plan.

Meanwhile backstage, Stone Cold is in the back seemingly headed for the ring.

But suddenly a car comes from out of no where and runs Stone Cold over!

[Cole]
Oh my God! Oh my God!
King, that car just ran over Stone Cold!

[King]
What!
Somebody call the ambulance!

*Commercial*

[Cole]
Kurt, this Sunday is the biggest match of the season for you.
You'll step in the ring with two other competitors who want that 6th Playoff spot.
And with Chris Waiting projected to win..

[Crabble]
What?
You think Chris Waiting is projected to win?
Where are you getting your facts from?
I'm an Olympic Freaking Gold Medalist!

[Crabble]
Have you seen my team?
Demarco Murray! He's a guarantee to score every week!
He's the best fantasy player in the league!
And not to mention Latavius Murray.
I'm going to FantasyMania, Michael.
And you know who's gonna lead the charge?
Ryan FREAKING Tannehill.
I'm putting the season on the line with the kid in Miami.
Oh it's true, it's damn true!

[Crabble]

Chris Waiting, you think you're just gonna waltz on into Massacre and go onto FantasyMania?

Well I guarantee you this....

Even if you SOMEHOW win this Sunday..

You won't be going very far because I'm gonna snap your freaking ankle!

[Cole]

Well, very strong words from the Olympic Gold Medalist, Kurt Crabble...

[King]

Wow, Stone Cold was right. You do move very fast, Michael.

[Cole]

A huge Triple Threat match headed into Sunday..

Playoff spots on the --

GONG

Underchucker's music hits and out comes The Minhistry of Darkness.

Druids come out carrying a symbol that is carrying Stephaneah McMahon!

[King]

Oh my God, Michael!

There she is! Stephaneah McMahon!

[Cole]

Surrounded by The Minhistry of Darkness..

And with Stone Cold being sent to the hospital, who will stop the Underchucker?

Underchucker makes his way down to the ring.

[Cole]

Oh my God, King...

Stephaneah is screaming for her life!

[King]

She's scared to death.

[Underchucker]

I must address the McMahon family.

I am not to blame for what is about to happen here.

Vince, this rests upon your shoulders.

[Underchucker]

All season long, the creative writers in the back have elected to highlighter other WCCF Superstars.

My character, the Underchucker has received the least amount of screen time.

I have been under utilized

And now, that is about to change.

[Underchucker]

FantasyMania is just one week away..

and unless I am placed into the Playoff Tournament..

Your daughter, Stephaneah McMahon will be sacrificed..

TONIGHT!

Mr. McMahon makes his way down to the ring to a surprising pop.

[Mr. McMahon]

Alright, damnit.

You've made your point, Underchucker.

Just don't hurt my daughter.

[Mr. McMahon]

Please Chucker.. just tell me exactly what you want.

[Underchucker]

Vince.. I want a title shot.

I want your Corporate Champion.

The Baugh must put his WCCF Championship on the line against The Lord of Darkness..

And once I defeat The Baugh.

Once I take the soul of your Corporate Wonder Boy, The Baugh...

I will go to FantasyMania WCCF Champion..

And I will be this season's League Champion.

[Mr. McMahon]

Alright, Chucker.

You're on!

You and The Baugh for the WCCF Championship!

This Sunday at Thanksgiving Day Massacre!

*Crowd Cheers*

[Mr. McMahon]

But only under one condition..

If you win, you go to FantasyMania.

But if you lose...

[Mr. McMahon]

Well if you lose..

your storyline ends and your season ends!

And then you'll give me back my daughter, damnit!

[Underchucker]

You're on, Vince.

But if I win..

Your daughter Stephaneah will be my bride as I ascend to the top of this league.

Hahahahahaah...

*Commercial*

WCCF Preview returns with The Baugh confronting Mr. McMahon.

[The Baugh]

What the hell are you doing, Vince?

One week before FantasyMania, you want The Baugh to face the Underchucker?

The Baugh just went through hell against Nick Foley in an I Quit match.

Now you want The Baugh to go against that dead son of a bitch?

The Underchucker is in 8th place, he has nothing to lose.

There is no WCCF Superstar more dangerous than the Underchucker.

What are you thinking, Vince?

[Mr. McMahon]

Listen to me, Baugh. Calm down.

I had to do it.

He has my daughter.

Try to understand this from my perspective.

I know you can beat the Underchucker.

I wouldn't have invested the entire league on you, if I didn't believe in you.

[Mr. McMahon]

Now I need you to trust me, Baugh.

I put that damn title around your waist!

Show me a little gratitude, Baugh.

You're gonna kick his dead ass this Sunday.

And you want to know what?

Because you are the Corporate Champion!

[The Baugh]

The Baugh understands all that Vince.

You've got to do what you've go to do.

But if you're wrong.

If the Underchucker makes it to FantasyMania..

If you let the Minhistry of Darkness continue on..

Well, we're all in trouble, Vince.

[Mr. McMahon]

That's why it's gonna be on your shoulders, Baugh.

It's up to you to stop him.

I wouldn't want any other WCCF Superstar to go up against the Underchucker.

I need you, Baugh.

Save my daughter.

[Cole]
Wow and you can sense some tension building up among The Corporation.
The Baugh versus the Underchucker for the WCCF Championship.
Thanksgiving Day Massacre is lining up to be a stacked show with the Triple Threat match between ..

Michael Cole is cut off.