Earth-4479
We open on a battlefield.
After the West Coast Cousins successfully reversed the snap,
Thanos and his army have arrived.
As Thanos wrestles away the Fantasy Gauntlet from Captain Marvel,
Kendrick Stark watches in horror.
Thanos is about to snap the entire Universe out of existence.
Kendrick Stark looks up,
he finds Doctor Strange signaling with 1 finger in the air.
This is it.
The one in 15 million scenario.
Thanos corrals the Power Stone as he places the final piece
inside the Fantasy Gauntlet.
Thanos cries out as the Power Stone surges through his body.
Kendrick Stark grabs the Gauntlet,
as the two struggle to hold onto it.
Thanos overpowers Stark,
knocking him down and coming away with the Gauntlet.
Thanos-4479
I am.... inevitable.
He snaps his fingers....*thud*
He checks the Stones, but they're gone!
Kendrick Stark has the Fantasy Stones!
Thanos can only watch, as the tables have turned.
Kendrick Stark-4479
And I....
Kendrick Stark-4479
...I won't let you off that easy.
Doctor Strange-4479
Kendrick... what are you doing...?
.webp)
With the Power of the Fantasy Stones,
Kendrick Stark launches Thanos into the air, crushing his armor.
.jpg)
MarthaMan-4479
Thanos, I'm going to crush every bone in your body.
I will leave you paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair.
So when you're sitting in your shitty jail cell,
and you're sucking down on your Jello night after night, for the rest of your life,
YOU THINK OF ME!
Doctor Strange-4479
Kendrick! This isn't the way...
this isn't the one out of 15 million!
MarthaMan-4479
I know it's not, Strange. It's a better way.
He doesn't just get to be snapped out of existence.
He has to suffer.
.webp)
Thanos-4479
Ahhh.... rain fire!
Thanos' ship fires down missiles,
but Stark turns them into bubbles.
.jpg)
MarthaMan-4479
With the power of the Fantasy Stones,
I can do anything.
I can end world hunger. I can save the world.
I have the whole world... in my hands.
Captain Covfefe-4479
Kendrick, this isn't the plan.
MarthaMan-4479
Stay out of this, Cap!
At the TVA, the timeline is branching.
MarthaMan-4479
Don't you see?
The Ultron Program failed because
I didn't have the power or resources to harness Ultron.
But now, I can be Ultron.
I am the Suit of Armor around the world.
Captain Covfefe-4479
That's too much responsibility for one man, Kendrick.
MarthaMan-4479
Are you saying you don't trust me?
Captain Covfefe-4479
I trust you, Kendrick.
But no one man, should yield that much power.
We need to separate the Fantasy Stones.
MarthaMan-4479
And waste this opportunity?
Captain, I have the answer to world peace in my hands.
And you want to give that up?
Captain Covfefe-4479
The world should be in our hands. Collectively.
A single person should not have all the power...
you sound like Thanos, Kendrick.
MarthaMan-4479
I, sound like Thanos?!
Are you kidding me, Cap?
Hunter B-15
Variant identified.
Kendrick Stark, on behalf of the Time Variance Authority,
I hereby arrest you for crimes against the Sacred Timeline.
MarthaMan-4479
Who are you?
and who do you think you're trying to arrest here?
We're the good guys.
Hunter B-15
Arrest him and take the Gauntlet.
He's coming with us.
Place the charge and reset the Timeline.
Doctor Strange-4479
Kendrick, what have you done?
MarthaMan-4479
Relax, Strange.
I have the Fantasy Stones, I have the upper hand.
Who are you people and what do you want?
Hunter B-15
We're here to restore the timeline.
Hunter B-15 knocks MarthaMan on his back.
Hunter B-15
You're coming with us, Mr. Stark.
The TVA take Kendrick Stark into custody,
as the Reset Charge explodes, resetting Earth-4479.
WEST COAST COUSINS
FOREVER
Episode One - No More Men
Earth-415
Narrator
Earth-415. The primary timeline for this season's storyline.
Last season's WCC League Champion, Kendrick Stark, has won his 4th title.
But as of late, his health has become an issue of concern.
He makes a visit to Zuckerberg San Francisco General Hospital
to get treated for a series of unbearable headaches.
Doctor Strange
Mr. Stark. I'm Doctor Nicholas Strange.
Just so you know, I don't normally take on these boring cases.
But when they told me a billionaire Superhero came into the hospital,
I had to see it for myself.
Kendrick Stark
Um, yeah. I don't know, Doc.
I've been having these crazy headaches for a couple of months now...
Doctor Strange
Your scans came back normal.
Doctor Strange
Just as I expected... it was rather uneventful.
But don't take it too personally, I'm not really the starstruck type.
Kendrick Stark
Uneventful is good, right?
Doctor Strange
Indeed it is. For you, at least.
For me, it's just another day at the office with basic head trauma.
Doctor Strange
MRI is unremarkable.
Even for a so-called "genius", your brain appears normal.
That inflated ego of yours hasn't increased the size of your brain.
At least not physically.
Kendrick Stark
Wow, House.
Appreciate the bedside manner.
Doctor Strange
You don't show any signs of a concussion...
However, an MRI scan doesn't detect concussions or CTE.
And unfortunately, there are no studies on brain damage for superheroes.
Doctor Strange
As far as your headaches go, it could be a result of blunt force trauma.
Or perhaps as simple as migraines.
How often are you feeling symptoms?
Kendrick Stark
I don't know.. like I said I've been having headaches for months.
It's been sporadic since then, but seem to be increasing in severity.
Sometimes... I see things. Like some sort of vision...
And memories... but the odd thing is, I don't recall ever having these memories.
Almost as if they're memories from another lifetime.
Doctor Strange
False memories.
What about hallucinations?
Kendrick Stark
No, I don't think so, Doc.
Doctor Strange
Mr. Stark, these sound like textbook symptoms of head trauma.
The good news is, you don't have any type of brain tumor or anything like that.
But for now, I would be cautious of any more blows to the head.
My advice is to to take some ibuprofen and get some rest.
Maybe take the week off and have your God friend or
that big green guy work a double.
In Kendrick's room,
the television plays as we hear from Anderson Cooper from CNN.
Anderson Cooper
Next week, President Biden will be honoring Captain Covfefe
alongside other notable U.S. Veterans,
as the country celebrates Captain Covfefe Day.
The National Holiday will be celebrated on September 13th
and CNN will have live coverage of the event.
Doctor Strange
Looks like your friend is being honored.
Kendrick Stark
Yeah, well. What else is new?
I've saved the world just as many times as he has..
and I have more championships, but who's counting?
You don't see me getting the same recognition.
Must be those pretty blue eyes and charming good looks.
Anderson Cooper
Hold on just a second.
We have some late breaking news.
Live from our control center, we are just now receiving word
that the serial killer known as "The Riddler" has released another
video on the dark web.
We will now play the clip, but we must warn our audience,
this video may be disturbing to our viewers.
The Riddler
Hello, people of San Francisco.
The Riddler
This is the Riddler speaking.
Last week, I kidnapped your district attorney,
because he is not who he pretends to be.
The Riddler
And I am not done.
District Attorney Chesa Boudin promises justice reform.
But under his term, San Francisco is more corrupt than ever before.
The Riddler
Isn't that right, Chesa?
Chesa Boudin
*Muffling*
The Riddler
I will continue to kill, again and again and again and again.
Because under Chesa Boudin, there is no such thing as a criminal.
Because under Chesa Boudin, there is no such thing as a criminal.
I will showcase to the world how FLAWED the justice system REALLY IS!
And I will not stop.
Not until "The Batman" meets me face to face.
Not until The Batman reveals his identity TO THE WORLD....
Goodbye.....
Anderson Cooper
San Francisco's district attorney, Chesa Boudin has been missing for over a week.
No word on his current condition or if he is still alive.
CNN will continue to follow this breaking news and provide updates on the case.
In the meantime, The Riddler is calling out "The Batman."
Doctor Strange
Guy sounds like a nutcase.
Think you can catch him?
Kendrick Stark
Uhh... yeah... that's a bit below my paygrade, Doc.
It's the equivalent of basic head trauma in your field.
Unremarkable.
I don't waste my time with shit like that, unlike you.
I'll let the SFPD take care of it.
Or maybe that friendly neighborhood Spiderman can take a swing at it.
Doctor Strange
Or this.. "Batman."
Kendrick Stark
Never heard of him.
A portal opens up, as Kendrick Stark is overcome with a headache.
Kendrick Stark
What in the hell..?
Doc? What are you wearing?
Doctor Strange-206
Kendrick Stark.
I don't have much time.
We are on the brink of an all out multiversal war.
You have to find the Batman.
He can help you restore the multiverse.
Kendrick, it is up to you to stop the Multiversal War.
Do you understand?
Can you hear me?
Mr. Stark.
Mr. Stark.
---------------------------------------------------
MarthaMan's Season Objective:
Prevent the Multiversal War
(Win League Championship AND Lead the League in Points)
---------------------------------------------------
Doctor Strange
Mr. Stark, can you hear me?
Are you okay, Mr. Stark?
Kendrick Stark
What?... what?
Yeah, I heard you.
Doctor Strange
You were gone for a few seconds.
Did you just have another episode?
Hallucinations?
Because it looks like you just were completely out of it.
Kendrick Stark
No, no. I'm fine.
Ibuprofren and rest. I've got it.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
As Natasha Sherryoff prepares for her Week 1 matchup,
we find her infiltrating a team of Fantasy Sports Beat Writers at FantasyPro.
As she takes out these Fantasy Experts,
her goal is to find the optimal Week 1 lineup,
even if it means beating it out of them.
Natasha Sherryoff
I just want the best Fantasy Football advice...
but I will NOT pay for premium services.
As she nearly breaks into FantasyPros' HQ,
the cyber security team approaches her.
Evan Engram
Hands up, Sherryoff!
Evan Engram
I'm not going to ask you again.
I have orders to take you in, dead or alive.
From out of nowhere, the Scarlet Joyce arrives,
using her power to corral the entire Cyber Security team.
She sends them up into the air, flying into a nearby building.
Natasha Sherryoff
Oh my God...
Natasha Sherryoff
Joyce... what did you do?
Scarlet Joyce
I saved you.
Natasha Sherryoff
We have to call search and rescue.
Some of those people may still be alive in there.
Scarlet Joyce
We don't have time.
Natasha Sherryoff
What are you talking about?
We have to call it in.
Scarlet Joyce
Why is it that every fantasy "expert" and
Fantasy Football Youtube channel is run by men?
What makes men more equipped to play this game than women?
Because by my math, I'm better than 80% of the WCC.
And it's about time I got my due credit.
Natasha Sherryoff
Joyce, I don't know what you're saying right now,
but we have to get help.
Selina Kupp
There's a revolution coming, Widow.
A Women's Revolution.
Natasha Sherryoff
Who is this?
Scarlet Joyce
Selina Kupp.
A former league winner and #1 WR among all formats in 2021.
She helped me win a League Championship
and she will help lead us again in 2023.
Natasha Sherryoff
Wait.. there's someone here...
Lurking in the shadows,
we find Jason 'Tua' Tagovailo, also known as, Robin.
Selina Kupp
Jason... you've made it to this world as well?
Don't tell me the big man is here too.
Natasha Sherryoff
You know this kid?
Selina Kupp
I do... in my world, he's a vigilante.
He's a sidekick to the big bad Bat.
But let me guess... he sent you here to spy on us ahead of Week 1, didn't he?
Jason 'Tua' Tagovailoa
I'm here alone, Selina.
I don't even know if he's here in this world...
But I found you.
And I followed you here.
We have to go back, Selina.
We don't belong here...
The Scarlet Joyce sends Tua crashing down from the ceiling.
Selina Kupp
Aw... what's wrong Birdboy?
How does it feel to have your wings clipped?
Jason 'Tua' Tagovailoa
Selina... listen to me.
Selina Kupp
Darling, I'm done listening to men.
I don't need anyone to mansplain why we're here.
Juwanita, Tie him up...
Juwanita Johnson ties up Tua.
Natasha Sherryoff
Joyce... what are we doing here?
Selina Kupp
We're taking this league by storm.
Natasha Sherryoff
No offense, cat lady, but I didn't ask you.
Selina Kupp
Just say the word and the bird boy is worm food.
I'll prove my worth to you, Joyce.
Natasha Sherryoff
He's not a threat, Joyce.
He's just a kid.
Selina Kupp
He's going to tell the Bat what we've done here...
Jason 'Tua' Tagovailoa
Selina, you know me. And I know you.
You're not a killer.
You don't want to do this.
Selina Kupp
You may know me in that world, honey...
but you don't know me in this one.
Scarlet Joyce
We have the element of surprise.
No one in this league knows what we're planning...
We can't risk this getting out there.
Natasha, we plan to change the West Coast Cousins... forever.
And I would really like you on our side...
We will change the game and revolutionize this league.
The stigma of women in Fantasy Sports ends today.
When it is all said and done... I will be the greatest of all time.
Natasha Sherryoff
What exactly are you planning?
---------------------------------------------------
Scarlet Joyce's Season Objective:
Eliminate All Male Fantasy Managers (Win League Championship)
---------------------------------------------------
Scarlet Joyce
To change the very fabric of this league's DNA...
I will erase everyone from the history books.
Kendrick Stark, Captain Covfefe, Thor Rocksinson...
They will all kneel before their queen.
Natasha, the objective is simple....
....
No more men.
