The New Day panics as the Underchucker
arrives and uses supernatural powers
to shoot lightning bolts out of his hands.
Underchucker
Hahaha...
The three of you should have never come here.
I have gathered the Minhistry of Darkness
for the grand arrival of the Greater Power,
for a lynching is upon us.
Amari Cooper
Oh hell no. I didn't sign up for this!
Dalvin Cook
Amari! Start coughing in his face!
He's unvaccinated, no one in the 90s has even heard of COVID yet.
The Deadman starts to choke as he's infected with COVID-19.
David Montgomery
Come on, now's our chance to get the Urn.
Amari Cooper
How do we get it open?
The Underchucker sits up,
largely unaffected by COVID-19.
Underchucker
I have a stuffy nose.
The Power of Darkness exceeds your global pandemic.
Hahahaha...
The Underchucker advances towards the New Day,
but suddenly an ominous gong hits.
The Underchucker kneels as the Greater Power
makes his arrival.
Jim Ross
My goodness, the Greater Power has arrived!
Who could it be?
King
I think I can see his face, JR!
The Underchucker frees the Urn.
Underchucker
With the power of the Fantasy Stone,
the possibilities are endless.
Forged by darkness and cursed by Hell,
my Urn is a power that knows no bounds.
Underchucker
My Greater Power, with this Urn,
the Fantasy League stands at your peril.
Destruction and chaos await the West Coast Cousins,
as Judgement Day is upon us. Hahahahah.
And now, it is time for the Greater Power to reveal himself
to the entire world.
I present the Urn to you.... Noah.
Jim Ross
What in the hell! Noah, the masked man only known as Noah
has been revealed as the Greater Power!
King
What does this mean, JR?
Noah
New Day... now!
Noah knocks the Underchucker off his feet,
as the New Day run towards Noah.
Noah and the New Day use the Underchucker's Urn
to disappear into the night.
WEST COAST COUSINS:
ENDGAME
ENDGAME
Episode Twelve - Thanksgiving Day Massacre
John Seana
I don't know what happened.
There was just something about winning that title.
Something about knocking of SC Lesnar,
becoming Champion and saving the world.. I couldn't help myself.
I felt vindicated in my efforts, that finally something was going my way.
And then The Baugh blindsided me.
John Seana
Ironically, now I know what he felt like at last year's 'Mania.
...I messed up.
The fate of mankind was in my hands and I screwed it up again.
Steve Pupstin
So you fucked up.
Sometimes, that's just how it goes.
But you're not gonna go anywhere by feeling sorry for yourself.
You're going to get that title back.
Hell, I'll even help you get the damn thing back.
But once you do, and then you go use it for whatever it is you need.
I'm the very first person you're putting the belt up against.
John Seana
You got it.
Help me get the title back, kick Donald Trump's ass,
and then we'll duke it out on more time.
We cut to an undisclosed location,
where we find Vic Ambrose arriving to confront a former adversary.
The front man for Donald Trump's Inner Circle and security detail,
former AFW Champion, Chris Vinson.
Chris Vinson
Alright, jackass.
I got your message and I've agreed to meet you here.
Now what do you want?
Vic Ambrose
Look at this place, Chris.
Look at what this country has become.
Now, I know you chose to side with Donald Trump.
But is this what you want?
Is this really the type of world you want to live in?
Deep down, I know you hate this.
I've come here to ask you to reconsider your position.
Chris Vinson
Seriously?
I risked my life coming here to meet you,
and this is what you're asking me?
If I get caught speaking to you, I'm dead.
Vic Ambrose
And that doesn't scare you?
Chris Vinson
Listen, you little punk.
You don't know the first thing about me.
You're not my friend, you're not my pal.
So quit the sympathy act, jackass!
What? You think you're just going to approach me,
make some amazing speech and think I'm ready to turn a new leaf?
Vic Ambrose
You have inside information, Chris.
You know more about Trump's dealings than anyone.
There must be something you can give us.
Some type of weakness or something we can take advantage of.
Chris Vinson
Yeah, because I chose the right side.
I chose the winning side. And history is written by the winner.
If you were as resourceful as I am,
you could be in my position.
But you're a stupid idiot who chose pride over survival.
Vic Ambrose
So that's it?
It's enough for you just to get by.
Just to survive the next day.
This is what you have to look forward to?
Chris Vinson
Don't preach to me, kid.
You can say what you want, but I'm not a good guy.
I'm not a hero.
And maybe, just maybe I like this world we live in.
Vic Ambrose
Maybe you do.
But all the power in the world is held by one man.
With the snap of his finger, he can end the entire world on a whim.
You can't be in favor of that...
Chris Vinson
You have me all figured out, don't you?
I'll tell you what, Vic.
I do have inside information.
I know where Donald Trump's weak point is.
And I'll tell you what they are... with one condition.
You have to play me in Fantasy Football this Sunday.
Chris Vinson vs. Vic Ambrose, one last time.
And if you win, I'll tell you everything you want to know...
but if you lose... well, good luck saving the world.
Bitch!
*Commercial*
A candidate who can be trusted.
A candidate who is as tough on crime as he is on COVID.
A candidate who survive the California Recall.
A man who isn't losing his mind and doesn't want
to destroy the planet.
When the end times are near, who would you rather trust?
Gavin Newsom
I'm Gavin Newsom and I support this message.
Paid for by Gavin Newsom for President.
*Commercial*
Sandy Orton
Tonight, I've come here to address some of the
rumors that have been going rampant on social media.
There's been talks of a final resolution.
Judgement Day, they call it.
Rumors have been swirling all over the internet
and on the dirt sheets that say that The Baugh
is putting together a team.
I'm here to tell you that those rumors are true.
*Crowd Cheers*
Sandy Orton
The Baugh is recruiting far and wide,
a team of Fantasy Managers and a revolution is coming.
There has been new information that has come along,
and Yahoo Projections are starting to shift.
Previously, Yahoo Sports only gave us a 1% chance
of defeating Donald Trump.
However, things are starting to take a turn,
and with each passing week, our chances of survival is improving.
Sandy Orton
Unfortunately, along with those rumors...
I've heard that The Baugh has gone as far as to recruiting
the likes of Minh Wyatt.
That, I cannot get behind.
Baugh, I know you're listening.
Minh Wyatt cannot be trusted, I know from firsthand experience.
Minh will do more damage than good,
and we cannot afford to have him our side.
Do you hear me? Baugh?
We're really glad that you're our friend,
and this is a friendship that'll never ever end.
Minh Wyatt
Yowie Wowie, Fireflies!
Sandy Orton making a special appearance on the Firefly Funhouse!
And what a run you've been having this season!
9-2...
You sure are taking the league by storm!
And that's no easy feat, color me impressed, Sandy Orton!
Minh Wyatt
But you know...
Last season, there was a special someone who had a similar run.
What an amazing year he had... up until he met.... Him.
You see, once He got a hold of John Seana,
I'm afraid SeaNation was never the same again.
John Seana entered the Firefly Funhouse a top contender...
but when he left, he was a shell of his former self.
He went to FantasyMania and it was clear,
he didn't have what it took after what The Fiend did to him.
It would be a shame... if you were to suffer that same fate, Sandy...
Sandy Orton
I'm not playing your games, Minh.
And you are not joining our resistance.
Minh Wyatt
You said a lot of mean things about me, Sandy!
Your words were hurtful and makes me think you don't want to be my friend.
Well Sandy... I know where that anger comes from.
You see, as great of a season as you've had...
there was one Fantasy Manager who was the first to beat you...
And ever since that moment, you've been dreading
coming face to face with him again.
Minh Wyatt
I know about anger, Sandy.
I've faced a lot of hard truths and went down a dark path in my time.
Take for example... this painting.
A moment that will live in infamy...
The night the Wyatt Compound was burned to the ground,
by one, Sandy Orton.
Minh Wyatt
Sandy Orton, you will face the consequences for your actions.
You must be punished, because your soul is full of pure evil.
And when it's all said and done,
when you meet your maker and come face to face with your destiny,
you will realize what you've done.
Sandy Orton, this Sunday at Massacre, I am challenging you to a match.
But not just any match.... an Inferno Match!
*Crowd Cheers*
Michael Cole
OH MY!
Minh Wyatt
And when nothing but ashes are left in place of your body...
you will follow the buzzards... and let me in...
RUN!
The arena lights cut out.
Michael Cole
Oh my God... it's The Fiend!
The Fiend standing right behind Sandy Orton!
Corey Graves
Oh no... the Mandible Claw!
Minh Wyatt has it locked in,
could this spell the end of Sandy Orton's incredible season?
Once The Fiend gets a hold of you, anything can happen.
Michael Cole
What an explosive matchup this is going to be between these two Superstars.
Minh Wyatt and Sandy Orton for perhaps one final time in an Inferno Match!
Folks, you won't want to miss this.
WCC Massacre, this Sunday streaming exclusively on Peacock Premium!
My God! What an explosion!
*Commercial*
King
Check this out, JR!
The WCCF Slam of the Week brought to you by....
I'll let you have the honors, JR.
Jim Ross
It's fruity, it's delicious, fruity, FRUITY!
BY GAWD THEY'RE DELICIOUS!
FRUITY... SKITTLES!
King
The WCCF Slam of the Week!
Presented by Skittles!
*Commercial*
We return to WCCF Preview with the Commissioner, Nick Foley.
Nick Foley
What a season it has been in the West Coast Cousins.
Last night, we had an incredible PPV.
Hedge won his first match, Single H turned back the clock,
Kevane looked dominant.. and we have a new WCCF Champion!
*John Seana's Music Hits*
John Seana
Whoa, whoa, Commish.
I don't mean to cut you off, but unfortunately,
I've got some pressing business.
You called me the Champ, and on paper, yes I am.
But as you can see... there's no Championship belt with me.
That won't do. I need the belt, Nick.
Nick Foley
Well John, I regret to inform you...
I suspended The Baugh for one week due to his actions.
He isn't here tonight and neither is the belt.
*Crowd Boos*
Nick Foley
But that's okay, John.
Because the WCCF is an ever evolving entity.
We progress with the times, and it's about time
we made some changes around here.
So John, for the first time ever, I would like to present to you...
the NEW WCCF Championship belt!
*Crowd Boos*
Nick Foley
I can't think of a better person to have this Championship belt.
It spins like some of your chains,
I think the fans will really like this one.
It's a heck of a like more expensive than my Hardcore Championship belt,
I'll tell you that.
John Seana
Nick, Nick. Come on.
I know you put a lot of effort into this...
but this isn't the WCCF Championship belt.
I need the real one.
I mean, no offense, but I need the belt that The Baugh took from me.
Nick Foley
Okay, I get it. It might take some warming up to,
but I'm sure you'll get used to it.
You don't have anything to worry about, you are the Champion, John.
Not The Baugh.
John Seana
I'm not worried about the semantics of being called Champion,
I just really need the belt.
Nick Foley
Fine, you want to hurt my feelings?
I won't take it personal.
But if you want the belt, you're going to have to get it from The Baugh.
He asked me to pass along the message... and I quote:
"Tell that jabroni, if he wants the WCCF Championship belt,
he can fly out to my hometown in Miami and challenge me for it."
And as you can see, John. We're not in Miami.
We're half way across the country...
right here... in San Jose, California!
*Crowd Cheers*
Nick Foley
So don't you worry, John.
We're going to get you the original Championship belt back,
but in the meantime, would you at least check out the new one?
Get used to it.. well, maybe don't get too attached.
Because after all, the show must go on.
Nick Foley
We have a Fantasy league to run here
and this Sunday's Championship Match will still be on!
*Crowd Cheers*
Nick Foley
And John, this is going to be a treat.
Because your opponent this Sunday will be someone
that you have never faced before.
Because for the first time ever... I would like to introduce
the newest addition to the West Coast Cousins...
*CM PUP's Music Hits*
*Crowd Cheers*
Nick Foley
CM PUP!
CM PUP
Wipe that stupid smirk off your face, John
and allow me to introduce myself.
For those of you who don't know me...
my name is CM PUP and I'm straight edge!
That means that I don't drink, I don't smoke.
And I certainly don't inject unknown substances into my body.
Obviously, we can't say the same thing for you, John.
CM PUP
And you may be The Champ around here.
But trust me, this ain't my first rodeo.
I've dominated Yahoo Public Leagues from all around the world.
Hell, I've probably played more Fantasy Matches than you have.
So allow me to introduce you to some of my team...
to my left, I have one of the toughest tight ends in the game, T.J. Hockenson.
Mike Evans, and Michael Pittman Jr., who by the way,
I heard you were looking to acquire on your fantasy team.
Good luck with that, because I reject your trade offer, jerk!
Jim Ross
Uh oh.. it appears as if CM PUP is making his way down to the ring.
This could spell trouble for the WCCF Champion.
CM PUP
All of my Fantasy Players are straight edge.
We are the Straight Edge Society...
and this Sunday, when I make my WCCF Debut...
I'm going to show the world who I am...
and I am going to kick your ass!
And you will remember the name that is... CM PUP!
*Crowd Cheers*
Seana can only smile as he looks over at CM PUP.
John tips his hat, seemingly accepting the match.
*Crowd Cheers*
Jim Ross
It's on!
For the first time ever, a match that we've never seen before..
CM PUP takes on John Seana for the WCCF Championship!
You won't want to miss this!
Order WCCF Thanksgiving Day Massacre only on Pay Per View!
