Narrator
We open on the battle in Wakahdaq.
Lamor Jackson takes charges as he leads his team,
connecting early with Mike Evans,
as the All-Pro receiver drops 18.20 on Thursday night.
T'Vincent
Tyresha, I'm putting you on the bench.
Tyresha Hill
On the bench?
What do you mean, brother?
T'Vincent
As your big brother, in this universe and in yours.
I am making the call to put in Courtland Sutton instead.
Tyresha Hill
Oh, that is such bullshit.
Is this because Tua is out?
I don't need him to perform, I can still put up Fantasy points!
I am the Black Manager!
T'Vincent
My decision is final.
The Black Baugh
Alright, you son of a bitch.
Get some of Tee Higgins!
Narrator
The receiver scores 2 touchdowns for a total of 20.30 Fantasy points.
Narrator
But T'Vincent's team counters as Tucker Kraft goes for 20.80.
The Black Baugh
Kyren, Garrett.
Send the rest.
Narrator
Kyren Williams scores 14.50 and Garrett Wilson goes for 16.10.
But T'Vincent's team scores a solid 10 points with New England defense.
T'Vincent
So, you think Lamor cannot throw?
Well, watch me!
Narrator
Lamor Jackson throws for 348 yards and 4 touchdowns,
torching Baugh's team for 33.42.
Narrator
T'Vincent lands a decisive blow,
knocking the defending Champion to the ground.
Winner via Pinfall:
vincent1469
Narrator
T'Vincent's team wins 126.02-110.94 as the Baugh
is left bleeding and gasping for air.
Narrator
The Baugh can only watch as T'Vincent's team dismantles
what's left of The Baugh's team in Week 5.
Narrator
T'Vincent has enacted revenge after being
swept in all matchups against The Baugh last season.
Narrator
Just as all hope is lost for The Baugh, he glances up.
A hand is extended, offering assistance.
Narrator
The Baugh reaches out and takes the hand.
????
Get up, Black Baugh.
Dante Reyes
We've still got a long way to go...
Lamor Jackson
Send the flood...
Let them drown.
Dante Reyes blocks the flood with his Trident,
much to the dismay of Lamor the Submariner.
Dante Reyes
Uh oh... little Lamor.
You're not the only one who can water bend.
Looks like you'll have to try something new...
because you've just met your match.
WEST COAST COUSINS
NO WAY HOLMES
Episode Six - A Manager Among Managers
Mark Andrews
Alright, now that we have some breathing room,
it's time we stopped being cons and started being civilians.
Our faces are plastered all over the news.
We need to change our appearances.
Mark Andrews
Lalo, I'm sure you have your own arrangements,
people to see. I'm sure you can find your own way.
I'm thinking maybe it's time we parted ways.
Lalo Salamanca
I agree... I've got more important things to do than to hang out with you clowns.
Ha...
But before I go... there's just one more thing, Andrews.
Mark Andrews
I'm not giving you Gustavo.
Lalo Salamanca
Oh? Is that right?
So you're just gonna go back on your word?
Tai Rogers
The man said no.
You're lucky enough to be standing outside in the free world,
instead of prison where you belong.
Lalo Salamanca
Heh.. you're awfully tough when Captain Covfefe has your back, Andrews.
That's fine. I'll go.
But I'll be seeing you, Marky.
Mark Andrews
I doubt it.
Lalo Salamanca
You never know... we may just cross paths once again...
Tai Rogers
Stay out of trouble, Lalo.
Lalo Salamanca leaves.
Tai Rogers
And then there's you... Nico Collins.
Nico Collins
That's right. And it's like I said.
I'm not from your world.
Nico Collins
In my world, I was a friend of Captain Covfefe.
He was a good man. A honorable one.
Nico Collins
And when I ended up in your world,
I saw you on the news. They said Tai Rogers tried to kill President Biden.
But I knew that couldn't be true.
Because the Captain Covfefe that I know, he would never do something like that.
And then, when I found you.
I took one look at you in the eye and I knew.
You would never do something like that either.
I trust that you're a good man, Rogers.
And I hope that you can trust me too.
Tai Rogers
I don't know who I can trust right now.
Nico Collins
Well, the fact that you've started me every single week must count for something.
Tai Rogers
You sure you're up for being on the run?
I see you pulled your hamstring pretty good last week.
Nico Collins
It's nothing a couple of good night's rest won't take care of.
But let's be real, it's not going to be easy being on your team.
Because the people who shoot at you, usually wind up shooting at me too.
Not to mention that we're currently in 9th place, Tai.
We'll need to make some changes if we're going to make a run at this thing.
Tai Rogers
I've got to make a call.
Tai Rogers
Sherryoff, it's me.
Natasha Sherryoff
Tai? Where are you?
Tai Rogers
Here and there.
You know how it goes.
Natasha Sherryoff
Are you okay?
Are you hurt?
Tai Rogers
Tai Rogers
I'm fine.. for now.
Natasha Sherryoff
How long do you think you can keep this up?
It won't be long before they catch onto you.
You should turn yourself in.
You'll only make things worse.
Tai Rogers
I didn't do it, Natasha.
It wasn't me who tried to kill the President.
Someone is setting me up and I need to find out who.
Natasha Sherryoff
The way it's being portrayed on the news, it doesn't look good.
Tai Rogers
But you believe me, right?
Natasha Sherryoff
Of course, I believe you.
I may need your help.
But I need to know if I can trust you.
Natasha Sherryoff
Tai, of course you can trust me.
Tell me where you are and I'll come get you.
Tai Rogers
I'll find you.
Tai Rogers hangs up the phone.
Nico Collins
Hey Cap!
Nico Collins
We've got trouble...
Mark Andrews
I'm sorry.
He must have tracked us down somehow.
Peacekeeper
That's right. I put a tracker on Andrews when we escaped.
You think I was gonna let you go without a plan?
But anyways, it's good to see you boys again.
A happy little reunion.
And guess what?
I just picked up my first win of the season.
Time for another one.
Tai Rogers takes on Peacekeeper in Week 6.
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Tai Storm
FLAME ON!
Vinpool
Allow me to let you in on a little secret, Johnny.
You're not the only one to pick up your first win this week.
Because this dirty devil just beat this potty mouthed, megalomaniacal shit talking heathen.
And you want to know how?
Because his strategy is not to have a Team Defense.
Narrator
The lack of defense distracts Tai Storm as he faceplants in Week 5.
Winner via Pinfall:
Winged Dragon of Ra
Ravonna Renslayer
Enough with the jokes.
Arrest them all!
The TVA take Vinpool and Wolverine into custody.
Paradox
Mr. Vinson, welcome to the TVA.
Vinpool
TVA? Don't you mean ATN?
I know you, you're... wait, who are you again?
Paradox
My name is Paradox.
Vinpool
You're the one that Tai Storm was talking about.
Why do they call you Paradox?
Paradox
Well, actually. Paradox is my TVA name.
My real name is Tom.
Vinpool
Okay "Tom."
Don't tell me you were everybody's friend on MySpace too.
What am I doing here? And where's Kevan?
Paradox
Kevan is fine. He's in the holding cells.
You know, you're really lucky, Vinson.
The two of you, committing crimes against the Sacred Timeline.
If it weren't for our intervention, you could've killed Minhneto.
Vinpool
Wait, Minhneto's not dead?
Paradox
No, we saved him. He's in another timeline now.
He has a role to play in the war to come.
As do you.
Vinpool
War? What war?
Paradox
Walk with me.
Paradox
Welcome to the multiverse.
This is the TVA, where we manage the flow of time
and make sure assholes like you, don't destroy the Sacred Timeline.
Vinpool
Alright Wambsgans, enough with the riddles.
What are you talking about?
Paradox
For the crimes you committed, we could've easily pruned you.
Erased you from existence.
But you're lucky my boss wants to keep you alive.
Vinpool
Right. Because I'm the most profitable brand from 20th Century Studios.
Did you see how much my last movie made?
The mouse would be an idiot to let me go.
I can't be recasted. I'm bulletproof.
Paradox
Take a look out there.
These are the West Coast Cousins.
Paradox
We want to keep you around, Vinson.
There's a great war coming.
And you have a chance to be a Manager among Managers.
Vinpool
A manager among managers?
That doesn't even make sense, like a League Commissioner?
Nobody wants that job.
They have to hear about everyone's stupid suggestions for new rules
and write storylines that nobody asked for.
Paradox
Uhh.. right.
The reason we brought you to the TVA is because
we're looking for Omega Level Fantasy Managers.
Vinpool
Omega Level Fantasy Managers?
Am I one of them?
Paradox
Oh, dear God. No.
You are certainly not an Omega Level Fantasy Manager.
Paradox
You auto drafted this year.
A good Fantasy Manager never forgets the draft date.
No, a Omega Level Fantasy Manager is a manager
who has won 3 or more League Championships in the West Coast Cousins.
It also helps if you're Diamond Level Status.
Vinpool
Like Captain Covfefe.
Paradox
Precisely.
Paradox
Then of course, you have the greatest of all time.
4x League Champion, MarthaMan, also known as Kendrick Stark.
Paradox
3x League Champion, the Scarlet Joyce.
Paradox
And the newest Omega Level Fantasy Manager.
2023 defending League Champion, The Black Baugh.
Vinpool
The West Coast Cousin's greatest heroes...
I don't understand.
Why are you looking for Omega Level Fantasy Managers?
Paradox
Heh. Don't you get it?
They are a danger to the timeline.
A danger to the West Coast Cousins.
Parity in this league? Non-existent.
They keep winning and as long as these Omega Level Threats exist,
the rest of you will never win.
Take a look at your team last season, it was the best you've ever assembled in the WCC.
But it still wasn't enough.
The Baugh bested you in the Championship Game.
"The Circle of Champions" remains unbroken.
And the way things are going this season,
Thor Rocksinson may become an Omega Level Threat soon enough.
Paradox
If you ever want to become a League Champion,
you and all of the other League Losers are going to have to band together.
Omega Level Threats are bad for the League.
They're bad for the Sacred Timeline.
Therefore, someone has to eliminate them all.
Vinpool
Me?
Paradox
Yes... you.
What other hero do you know, is as morally flexible as you?
You're willing to kill and break the hero code.
That's what you do.
Captain Covfefe, MarthMan, the Black Baugh and the Scarlet Joyce.
They must go. Kill them all.
Vinpool
Kill Captain Covfefe...
But that's just unamerican.
Who do you think I am? The Iron Shiek?
Paradox
Look, it's a lot to ask. I understand.
But what if we sweetened the deal?
We're the Time Variance Authority after all.
We can do many things. We can help your Fantasy Team.
We'll let you redraft.
You can pick any player from any timeline.
Terrell Owens, Michael Vick,
LaDainian Tomlinson, Corey Dillon, Shaun Alexander.
Remember, these guys were playing when the running back was still a valuable position.
Vinpool
Corey Dillon? That guy was a monster.
Consensus #1 overall pick year after year...
Shaun Alexander 27 rushing TDs in a single season?
And LaDainian Tomlinson? That guy could win a League all by himself.
Let's fucking go!
I'll do it.
---------------------------------------------------
Vinpools's Objective:
Kill an Omega Level Fantasy Manager
(Record More Total Season Points Than
Dollar Discount Team, UC Davis Aggies, #7tormsComing or Luke's Lunch Money)
---------------------------------------------------
Vinpool
Wait. What about Kevan?
I promised a team up with his Fantasy Team.
I won't do this without him.
Paradox
Are you kidding me?
You want this variant of Wolverine?
This has got to be the worst version of Kevan that I have ever seen.
Have you seen his team?
It's just as bad as yours and he didn't auto draft.
If you're gonna team up with a Kevan variant,
I would rather have the one that can sing or do magic tricks.
Vinpool
Hey! I've heard this Kevan sing and his voice is magical!
Besides, he's 3-2 and in 6th place.
I think his downfall was greatly exaggerated.
Believe me when I tell you, Kevan and I, we can take you to the other side.
Paradox
My God, you two are unbelievable.
I'll be honest, I disagreed with bringing you on board.
I said that your team wasn't good enough to beat an Omega Level Fantasy Manager.
But my boss insisted on bringing you along.
Vinpool
Well your boss made the right choice.
Whether you want to admit it or not,
the TVA needs Vinpool and Wolverine.
Kevan
Who exactly is your boss, bub?
Paradox
Funny you mention it, because here he is now...
William Stryker
Good work, son.
Kevan
Stryker...?
William Stryker
That's right, Kevan.
Fate has brought us together, once again on the same team.
Fighting the same battle.
Now bring me some fucking Omega Level Fantasy Managers!
