J. Jonah Jameson
There you have it, folks!
Conclusive evidence that Spiderman was responsible for the brutal murder of Mysterio!
But that's not all folks.
Here's the real blockbuster, brace yourselves, you might want to sit down.
Quinten Beck
Spiderman's real name... his real name is...
...
Spiderman's name is...
CHRISTOPHER PARKER!
Spiderman
WHAT THE FUCK?!
Parker receives a call from Jaylen Warren.
Jaylen Warren
Dude!
Spiderman
Dude!
Jaylen Warren
Can you believe it?!
CMC is a surprise inactive for Week 1!
They didn't tell us until the last minute.
Who are you gonna start in his place?
Spiderman
Wait, what?!
CMC is inactive? I spent almost half my budget on him!
Jaylen Warren
JP Mason is already taken.. why didn't you handcuff him?
Spiderman
Okay... what about Isaac Gurendo?
You know what? Never mind!
That's not important, did you see the news?
Jaylen Warren
The news? No?
But I was watching the debate last night...
Spiderman
No, Mysterio... he revealed my identity to the world!
Jaylen Warren
What?! No way.
Can you meet us at the roof?
I'll call MJ and meet you over there.
Spiderman
I'll be right there!
WEST COAST COUSINS
NO WAY HOLMES
Episode Two - The Greatest Show
We cut to Parker meeting with MJ and Jaylen Warren.
MJ
Hey, are you okay?
Christopher Parker
Yeah... I think so? I don't know.
I can't believe that just happened.
MJ
What do we do now?
The entire League knows who you are.
Jaylen Warren
More like the entire world.
Christopher Parker
Wait. I know!
I'll call Mr. Stark. He'll know what to do.
Kendrick Stark
You've reached Kendrick Stark.
I'm not available right now, but if you leave a message,
I'll be sure to delete it later.
The White Rabbit
H-how how does it feel, Parker?
How does it feel to be.... a-a-abandoned?
Abandoned.
How does it feel to be alone?
In your time of need, he is nowhere to be found.
....
He may not help you... but I-I can.
I can.
And all you have to do... is let me in...
Let me in.
Jaylen Warren
You know, maybe it's not so bad?
So what if the world knows who Spiderman is.
Everyone knows who MarthaMan is and he's won multiple Championships.
Hey, we lost Week 1, but I think we can bounce back.
We made the playoffs last season, why can't we do it again?
Parker keels over, breathing heavily.
Jaylen Warren
Whoa... Chris, are you okay?
Are you having a panic attack?
Are you having a panic attack?
Was it something I said?
Christopher Parker
What..? I... I don't know....
MJ
Chris... are you alright?
The White Rabbit
Yes.... there he is....
Gwen Kelce-31
Chris!
Gwen Kelce-31
Chris are you there?!
Chris! Can you hear me?
Gwen Kelce-31
It's me, Gwen!
Gwen Kelce!
MJ-1887
Chris. It's me.
Gwen Kelce-206
Chris....
The White Rabbit
THE DOOR IS OPEN.
Christopher Parker collapses to the ground,
as he's overcome by a massive migraine.
Christopher Parker
MJ? Is that you...?
What just happened?
Jaylen Warren
Dude! Are you alright?!
Do you want me to call someone?
Christopher Parker
Jaylen... I don't know... something feels strange.
Something isn't right...
I can ... I can see you. But you feel so far away...
And... and you don't look the same.
You're not even on my team this year...
You're... you're different...
What do you mean different?
Christopher Parker
MJ.... you look different too....
Guys... what's going on?
Narrator
And just as Christopher Parker asks the question,
he's suddenly flooded by flashbacks.
His life flashes before his eyes,
only, it's a life he does not remember living.
Pastor Wayne
Good men and women... suffering delusions.
Pastor Wayne
Antonio Brown. Taking off his jersey,
retiring in the middle of a game.
Pastor Wayne
Aaron Hernandez, following down the path of the devil.
And even the GOAT Tom Brady himself was presented with delusions.
Deflating balls and spying on others.
Pastor Wayne
But only through his faith and his strength, overcame.
Pastor Wayne
The GOAT's delusion was a game with the Devil.
And what Brady experienced was a delusion that would've kept him from saving us!
Pastor Wayne
These DELUSIONS.... otherwise known as CTE...
DELUSIONS of the mind!
It is our DELUSIONS that lead us to sin.
Narrator
Christopher Parker is lost in another world.
Christopher Parker
Guys.... I don't feel so good....
Narrator
MJ and Jaylen can only watch as Chris Parker becomes spaghettified
and disappears from Earth-415.
MJ
Jaylen, what did you do...?
Jaylen Warren
What did I do?! I didn't do anything!
What did YOU do?!
MJ
CHRIS!
CHRIS! WHERE ARE YOU?
A portal suddenly appears.
Jaylen Warren
Wait, there he is!
Chris!
MJ
Chris!
Jaylen Warren
Chris, we're over here!
From out of the portal, comes Spider-Woman.
MJ
Whoa!
Who the hell are you?
Gwen Kelce
I'm Gwen.
Gwen Kelce and in my world, I am Spider-Woman.
MJ
Th-that's not possible...
MJ
What did you do with Chris?
Where is he?
Gwen Kelce
I was hoping you could tell me.
I've been looking for him all throughout the multiverse.
Jaylen Warren
The multiverse?
You mean like cyberspace?
Gwen Kelce
So are you telling me Chris isn't with you?
MJ
He was right here...
He was standing right where you're standing just a minute ago.
Gwen Kelce
Please don't tell me he turned into what looks like spaghetti...
MJ
That's exactly what happened.
Gwen Kelce
I'm so sorry...
I'm afraid your friend is gone.
MJ
Gone? What do you mean gone?
Gwen Kelce
He's lost in the multiverse...
Gwen Kelce
And his mind is fracturing.
MJ
Okay... but you can bring him back, right?
You said you're from the multiverse...
You traveled to our world, so you can travel to where ever he went...
If he can disappear, he can reappear.
That's how magic works.
He's still out there... somewhere... in cyberspace.
Gwen Kelce
Maybe, if I knew which universe he went to.
But unfortunately, when you become spaghetti...
there's no telling where you might end up.
Your friend is lost and he has no way home.
There's a good chance you'll never see him again...
MJ
No, no, no, no.
There's got to be something we can do.
Gwen, please.
Gwen Kelce
There is one thing...
but I have no idea if it's going to work.
And it's extremely dangeous.
MJ
Anything. Please.
We just need to find Chris.
Gwen Kelce
Okay... I can take you guys with me...
but I can't guarantee your safety.
If you come with me... you come at your own risk.
Jaylen Warren
Where are we going?
Gwen Kelce
To find Ourboros.
Jaylen Warren
I'm sorry, Aura who?
*Commercial*
*Commercial*
Earth-1129
Detective D'Vincent
I'm not gonna lie to you.
You're in a rough spot and it's not looking good for you.
67.86 points in Week 1.
3rd fewest throughout the entire league...
And the first member of the Fox River 8 to be captured.
Detective D'Vincent
You wanna go back to Fox River?
John Seana
Hell no.
Do you know what Task Force X makes us do?
The type of things Amanda Waller gets away with?
I can't go back there.
Detective D'Vincent
Then help me.
Help me find the rest of the Fox River 8.
Andrews, Rogers, Salamanca, Olave, Toomes, Varga and Bell.
They're still out there.
And despite this Week 1 set back, you can still turn things around.
It's still early in the season.
Rogers and Bell, they both lost in Week 1 as well.
They're making mistakes and you can get them.
Olave and Andrews each only scored 1.10 and 1.40 in Week 1.
They're weak.
Meanwhile, take a good look at my receivers:
Tyreek Hill, Cooper Kupp, Mike Evans.
They all scored over 18.
It's only a matter of time before I catch the rest of them.
John Seana
Sounds like you have it handled, why do you need me?
Detective D'Vincent
The truth is, I don't.
I could make one phone call and you'll be back on your way to Fox River.
But I know you're a good Fantasy Manager.
Despite your shortcomings, you've been in this league for a long time.
You know these others guys.
And you can make things a lot easier for me, if you cooperate.
John Seana
If I do this.. I want to pick my own team.
No Task Force X, no Amanda Waller.
I want my crew. And I want my suit.
Detective D'Vincent
Easy. Done.
Suit up, soldier. You're up.
---------------------------------------------------
John Seana's Objective:
Catch the Fox River 8
(Finish the Season Above Dollar Discount Team and UC Davis Aggies)
---------------------------------------------------
Earth-1930
Agent Wayne-1930
Mr. Davis.
May I have a word?
Vincent Davis-1930
Agent Wayne.
What can I do for the Federal Bureau of Investigation?
Agent Wayne-1930
I hear that you're representing Mr. Nigma.
The Riddler serial killer.
Vincent Davis-1930
Alleged serial killer.
That's an important distinction, Agent Wayne.
Innocent until proven guilty, or has the FBI already forgotten
the law they were sworn to protect?
Agent Wayne-1930
Don't get cute with me.
We all know Edward Nigma is as guilty as sin.
I've spent over a year chasing this psychopath all around Gotham City.
And now, I've finally got him.
Agent Wayne-1930
And I know about your reputation, Davis.
You've made quite the name of yourself in Gotham.
But I want you to be clear. This is my city.
I spend hours and hours every single day, doing my job.
Catching these monsters and putting them away...
only to have pieces of shits like you, set them free.
Vincent Davis-1930
Pieces of shits like me, are the reason we have rights in this country.
If it weren't for people like me, there would be no one to protect
American citizens from people like you, who abuse their authority.
If the authority was created to protect the citizens,
who will protect the citizens from the authority?
I know about your reputation as well, Agent Wayne.
A hell of a Week 1 performance from you.
126.38, that's not easy.
But it seems, it's not enough for first place.
Agent Wayne-1930
Oh? Don't get too excited, Vincent. It's only Week 1.
130.12 is great, but I'd like to see you do it again.
You may be at the top of the league right now, but it's a long season.
This is a marathon, not a sprint.
How did a low life like you become a lawyer, anyway?
I'd imagine your kind would be better suited for servitude.
I can really see this country going to hell when they start
letting folk like you decide the law.
Vincent Davis-1930
Folk like you is exactly why they started letting folk like me decide the law.
And to be clear, I don't decide the law.
I just abide by it.
As should you, Agent Wayne.
Are we done here?
Agent Wayne-1930
We're done when Edward Nigma is behind bars.
---------------------------------------------------
Alexander Waynes's Objective:
Get Edward Nigma Convicted of the Riddler Killings
(Beat vincent1469 in Week 2)
---------------------------------------------------
Agent Wayne-1930
Let me make one thing clear, Vincent.
You can dress like us, you can pretend to be one of us.
But you will never be one of us.
Do you understand me, boy?
I'm going to take that first place spot from you,
and then I'm putting Nigma where he belongs.
In jail for the rest of his life.
Earth-1887
Alexander Wayne-1887
65.22 points, Alfred!
That's it!
That's all this asshole Kevan scored in Week 1.
I'm doing all the dirty work, pulling my weight and what is this son of a bitch doing?
I nearly doubled his output in Week 1!
He's in 2nd to last place, I can't work with this.
He's not a Professional Fantasy Manager.
Najee bloody Harris for the 4th year in a row?!
When are we gonna try something new?
Something different!
Our act is boring is all's I'm saying!
When are we going to take some risks?
The Great Kevan-1887
Hey! You got a problem or something?
Alexander Wayne-1887
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do.
I don't think you belong in this production.
This league is above your skill level, I'm afraid.
The Great Kevan-1887
Above my skill level?
Alexander Wayne-1887
Yeah, above your skill.
You may be able to run post routes with the best of them,
but you couldn't manage a team to save your life!
Alfred Pennyworth-1887
Easy! Cool it, you two.
The Great Kevan-1887
He started it!
Alfred Pennyworth-1887
I don't care who started it.
The two of you aren't even Week 2 opponents for god sake!
You're on the same bloody team!
We work as one unit here, Wayne.
One production.
And if you don't like it,
you're welcome to start your own bloody Fantasy Team!
Alexander Wayne-1887
Yeah, well maybe I will.
The Great Kevan-1887
Oh, yeah?
Why don't you go ahead and do us that favor.
Because quite frankly, I'm sick of your antics, Alex.
You're a locker room cancer.
And I wouldn't miss you.
Alexander Wayne-1887
Yeah, like I'm going to listen to someone who spent $16 on Hollywood Brown.
Wonderful display of resource management during the draft, Kevan.
The Great Kevan-1887
I was doing another draft at the same time!
Alexander Wayne-1887
And that just goes to show your level of dedication, Kevan.
You're not a serious manager.
You're predictable.
The Great Kevan-1887
Yeah?
Well if you're such a guru,
remind me how many League Championships
you've won in the West Coast Cousins?
Alexander Wayne-1887
Those will come in due time.
In the meantime, I'm working on new material, new techniques.
The Great Kevan-1887
Such as?
Alexander Wayne-1887
How about a bullet catch for one?
Alfred Pennyworth-1887
A bullet catch is suicide.
All it takes is one smart ass to put a button in the barrel,
or worse, an actual bullet.
Alexander Wayne-1887
Fine, whatever. No bullet catch.
The fact is, our act is getting stale.
We need to try something new, something innovative.
How about a Langford Double knot?
Alfred Pennyworth-1887
The Langford Double isn't a wet knot!
Maureen-1887
I can get out of a Langford.
Alexander Wayne-1887
She says she can do it.
The Great Kevan-1887
The man said leave it, Wayne!
Alexander Wayne-1887
Oh? So you know more about knots than I do?
Remind me how much Championships you've won?
No, scratch that.
Remind me how many FantasyMania's you've been to?
The Great Kevan-1887
You know, I've had about enough of this.
The Great Kevan-1887
There's more to performance and showmanship than props
and sleight of hand.
I'm thinking beyond this show and the "magic" we perform.
I've got bigger ideas than you could imagine.
I'm going to put on a show even bigger than FantasyMania.
Alexander Wayne-1887
Yeah, that'll be the day.
The "Great" Kevan... sold out shows all across England
at the Theater Royal. Wouldn't that be something?
The Great Kevan-1887
You just wait..
WHOAAA..
5 Years Later
WHOAAA..
WHOAAA..
The Great Kevan-1887
Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for.
WHOAAA..
The Great Kevan-1887
Been searching in the dark, your sweat soakin' through the floor.
WHOAAA..
The Great Kevan-1887
And buried in your bones there's an ache that you can't ignore
Takin' your breath, stealing your mind
And all that was real is left behind
Don't fight it, it's coming for you, runnin' at ya
It's only this moment, don't care what comes after
Your fever dream, can't you see it gettin' closer?
Just surrender cause you feel the feeling takin' over
It's fire, it's freedom, it's floodin' open
It's a preacher in the pulpit and your blind devotion
There's something breaking at the brick of every wall, it's holding
All that you know...
The Great Kevan-1887
So tell me...
DO YOU WANNA GOOOOO?
Where it's covered in all the colored lights
Where the runaways are runnin' the night
The Great Kevan-1887
Impossible comes true, it's takin' over you
Oh, this is the greatest show!
We light it up, we won't come down
And the sun can't stop us now
Watching it come true, it's takin' over you
Oh, this is the greatest show!
The Great Kevan-1887
It's everything you ever want
It's everything you ever need
And it's right here in front of you
This is where you wanna be
The Great Kevan-1887
It's everything you ever want
It's everything you ever need
And it's right here in front of you
This is where you wanna be...
*The music begins to fade*
The Great Kevan-1887
It's everything you ever want...
It's everything you ever need...
The tone becomes eerie.
The Great Kevan-1887
And it's here in front of you...
There is where you want to be....
It's everything.. you ever want....
It's everything you ever need.
...And it's here in front of you...
Earth-415
William Stryker
There is where you belong, Kevan.
This is where you want to be.
Minhneto may have failed to make the playoffs last season,
but his efforts weren't in vain.
At least we managed to corral the Wolverine.
William Stryker
Prepare the subject for testing.
This animal is going to score a lot of Fantasy Points for my team this season...
William Stryker
I want him operational by the end of Week 2.
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